Grant the wish of the post above yours, but put a twist on it.

 

Example:

1: "I wish to win the Lottery"
2: "Granted, you won $1. I wish I had the superpower of flight".

3: "Granted, but you achieve flight by expelling gas out of your rear...."

I wish I had a Million tax free dollars in my bank account.

Granted, but you are unable to access it until you turn 100.

 

I wish I could have have an unlimited spending spree at a high end art supply store.

Granted, but everything is sold out everytime you go.

 

I wish I had a new car.

Wish granted, but no matter how fast you are going every time you drive it you get an expensive ticket.

 

I wish I could have a some ice cream right now.

Wish granted, but it’s all melted and got dog hair in it.

 

I wish I never have a handicapped child.

Granted but now they are never home and always hanging out with their friends.

 

I wish teachers got paid more.

Granted, but now they don't have to buy school supplies for their students.

 

I wish I could have Prime Rib for Turkey Day.

Granted but it's overdone.

 

I wish I had a bigger dog.

Granted. It's now exactly 3 microns larger then your prior dog.

 

I wish I could get a restful 8 hours of sleep every time I go to bed.

Granted, but now every time you touch your bed you fall asleep for 8 hours regardless of the time.

 

I wish my coffee stayed the perfect temperature all the time.

Granted, but the coffee is gritty.

 

I wish Everytime I passed gas, I could choose who it comes out of.

Granted, but you maintain the worst smell coming out of you each time. 

 

I wish I never got any headaches.

Granted. Now your joints ache.

 

I wish we could skip winter this year.

sounds legit. XD 

 

Granted, but now summers are so hot that there is no water.

 

I wish i had a better memory for details.

Granted. Now every song is stuck in your head at the same time.

 

I wish I didn't age like milk.

Granted.  Now you age like McDonald's French fries, they look the same but become hard as rocks.

40 minutes ago, thehumantrashcan said:

Granted.  Now you age like McDonald's French fries, they look the same but become hard as rocks.

You forgot your wish. ? 

Just means he no longer get's any wishes!

I wish I was a better cook.

Wish granted, but everything you make has to contain bugs for it to taste proper.

 

I wish I didn't have to make dinner....

Granted.  Now you are having takeout that has a 50/50 chance of giving you food poisoning. 

 

I wish my wife would be willing to watch or read the WoT series.

Granted, but she HATES it and is now worse than the internet trolls

 

I wish for dessert!

Granted, you are now a peach cobbler and the congregation is heading your way.

 

I wish I had a glorious Maine Coon Cat the size of a car.

Granted, the cat doesn't like you and uses you as a chase toy.

I wish I was in prime physical condition

Granted, but now you're the only living thing left on earth left to appreciate it.

 

I wish I got a dollar every time people use or read my IRL name.