But I don't own any red string! Also, Madonna.

wrong kabbalah... the real stuff has no strings attached... they'd be illusory anyway. 

Religion doesn't mean much to me anyway - it's always other people's answers.

it's all about screwing with your perception of reality.

 

helps if you don't have one. 

WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE

 

but if i convince myself it's not really there i'll swing straight through it. 

(the tree is ambulatory and can step on you)

(i can fly)

So can I, but the ground keeps following me.

just remember the earth is round in this imaginary construct so you can roll with it

I think I prefer the "watery sausage-shaped" earth. It's sillier.

and less dangerous overall

What the ass, I was sure I'd posted in here

 

have you tried substituting the affection of cats for human interaction? 

My rent is high enough as it is!

.... why would the cats make it hier?

Every apartment I've ever lived in has charged you more if you had a pet. Plus, cat food costs money as well, and business is down so much that I'm likely to have to find a new job soon.

.. so... you would tell your landlord about the cat?

 

weird...

 

sorry about the work... may i recommend civil service for security, decent benefits and being surrounded by people more miserable than you?

Considering I don't have my own car, I'm quite a ways from the government offices, and bus service in this town is shit, that's not likely to be too feasible.

 

Also, my mother has cat allergies.

If I ever lose my job I'm moving to Palm Springs to open an escort service for senior women.  I'll get rich just from the legitimate side of the business not counting the "gratuities".

 

 

 

edit: needed my cursor.

 

 

 

 

* wakes up *

* looks down at his ever expanding gut *

* remembers what he sees while shaving *

* shakes his head *

 

No way.

I'd starve to death.

Edited December 31, 201212 yr by GrandpaG

*crams Gwampy into the roasting pan and slides him into the oven*

i didn't have a car before i got my first government job but as soon as i did i could get a loan and a cheap starter... i don't live anywhere near the office but it's well worth the commute.  and... it would definitely be worth it if it got my mom any farther away, though the 200 miles is comfortable enough for now.

 

but it sucks anyway, just trying to come up with viable alternatives to falling to earth.

Edited December 31, 201212 yr by cindy

I keep hoping I'll stop waking up, that would work out largely to my satisfaction, I think.

i have gone to sleep every night for nigh on 40 years either hoping or not caring... and yet morning comes.  

 

and then i have coffee, lots of it, and it's better, and sleep is the best...

 

and then we do it all again.

GLADYS THE CHEERY-TIME STURGEON IS NOT OPEN FOR BUSINESS