The speech that he was making sounded so much like what she wanted for her life. It made her smile to know that other people felt the passion and the desire that she did for adventure, Perhaps she was not such a lone wolf after all.

 

“It is so nice to know that someone else shares my passion and my drive. I want to go out and see the world I read about in my books. I want stand up to the Dark One and spit in his eye.” Her cheeks colored again but she continued on, the foreseen battles reflected in her eyes. “I want to know what it is like to conquer over the Shadow and triumph for the Light. Up until now I felt a little silly in these desires. Like I was harboring a fantasy that would never be, but….but you have made me see that the Green Ajah really is the place for me.” Throwing her arms around Jasine with a girlish laugh she squeezed him as if she intended him to pop. “Thank you!

 

The light dawned and Kabria realized that she had just hugged..a boy! She recoiled like a snake and used her hands to smooth the wrinkles in his jacket. “Oh…I am sorry I didn’t mean to!” She pawed at him as if trying to put out a fire. In a windmill of arms she lost her balance and with all the grace of a squish frog she fell backwards into the fountain. For a moment she was suspended with her eyes bulging and water filling her lungs. She came up and spit water, coincidently into Jasine’s waiting face. Perhaps if this had been her only mistake in the day it would have been easier to regain her composure, but piled on top of every other event it was just too much. Sitting in the fountain, soaked to the bone with a small lily pad hanging from her hair Kabria laughed until she cried.

 

Jasine was surprised by her hug, and the ferocity behind it, she nearly toppled him into the fountain and he had to brace himself with one hand to keep them both from going in.  He tried to still her hands as he laughed softly at her concern over his jacket.  When she lost her balance and toppled into the fountain he leaped up to rescue her.  "Oh, Light! Kabria, are you o-" the spray of water that hit him was a cold shock, driving the words from him in a gasp that set him coughing.  Before he had recovered coughing, it had turned into laughing alongside her.

 

He plucked the lilypad from her head, separated the flower from the leaf, and let the leaf fall back into the water.  He tucked the flower behind her ear and smiled tenderly as he said, "There, now you look like a right proper Seafolk maiden, dripping wet and exotic."  At least, it was what he imagined a Seafolk maiden would look like. Unbidden, he stepped one foot into the fountain and scooped her up out of the water and set her lightly back on her feet.  He grinned as he shrugged out of the jacket she was just fussing over and set it around her shoulders, tugging it ineffectually at an attempt to cover her white dress but unwilling to actually say something about the nature of white fabric once it got wet.

 

Hiding his blush, he turned away from her to find the book he had bought.  It had fallen to the ground when she fell in, but a quick brush removed the leaves and there was no visible damage. "Ah, good, my book's alright.  No harm done, then." He turned back, a little more composed, and hoped she was a little more... covered as well.  "I think we ought to get you back to the Tower so you can change out of those wet clothes.  Are you alright? You didn't hit your head on anything when you fell in, did you?"

The laughter was infectious and soon all humiliation and fear vanished, replaced by a kind of acceptance. There was no fear at excepting help, or holding his hand, or taking his coat. Standing in the street dripping wet from head to toe the only emotion that Kabria could summon was joy. It had taken her falling on her face to make it happen, but she’d finally found her first friend.

 

"There, now you look like a right proper Seafolk maiden, dripping wet and exotic." Kabria laughed again and splashed some water at Jasine. “ Your face would flush a deeper red than it is my friend if you ever truly saw me looking like a Sea Folk” Climbing out of the basin she tried in vain to shake the water from her dress. As it was it soaked into her slippers making them squish every time she moved. The day that had earlier seemed unseasonably warm was growing colder by the second as the moisture continued to seep through her dress and soak her shift. Jasine was taller than she was, by a hand and his offered jacket only barely covered her hips.

 

“The only thing I hurt was my pride.” Her cheeks flushed and she fought the urge to rub her back side where she’d fallen in. “I think your suggestion of returning to the Tower is a good one…A few more minutes and you are going to have to give me your pants too.”

 

As he had done all day Jasine offered Kabria her arm, but instead of taking it she leaned in close and put an arm around his waist, resting his on her shoulders. “I am cold, and I intend to use you for cover when my dress soaks all the way through.”

 

It was not the most comfortable situation trying to walk and keep herself covered, but by the time they reached the Tower Grounds and were headed into the Tower Kabria was laughing again. No fewer than 5 guards had asked if she needed help, 2 warders and even a few trainees. Luckily none of them had been Sisters or she would have been in more trouble than she could explain herself out of. At the door to her room she ducked inside and from behind the door handed Jasine his coat. “Thank you Jasine…I..I hope to see you again soon.” With a small laugh she shut the door in his face and began stripping out of the wet garments.

 

Twice Thera had tried to catch Jasine when he was supposed to be at training and both times he’d been nowhere to be found. It was unlike him to be late or skip a session, but she was sure that he had a good reason. It was likely that he had lost track of time in the stables, tending to Rau or Brownie.

 

Unable to find a sparing partner, she settled for some laps around the yards. Her full days rarely afforded her the time to run, but it was an activity she found almost soothing. In the steady rhythm of her footfalls she was able to compose her thoughts and let go of stress, by lap 50 she had shed her coat and by 75 she was considering her shirt. The mild day was turning hot as the sun gained ground in the sky. At 150 laps she could take no more;she stopped by one of the water pumps and dunked her head. Thera came up in a spray of water that made her curls bounce. Using the discarded coat she wiped the rest of the water from her face before throwing it in the large hamper outside her office.

 

With some time left before lunch she made her way through the yards and stopped to watch the training. Perivar, Arath, and Melenis were together, not an unusual occurrence except for the absence of Jasine. Those four had grown in leaps and bounds since they had started participating in their training together. Friendship was encouraged in students, but few took it to the degree that they had; it was encouraging to see. Making a circuit of the yards she stopped by the main gates of the Tower to talk with Llugh. It was good to seem him back, though the last time they had met it was not such a pleasant encounter.

 

She was still leaning by the wall talking to him when she saw Jasine. At first she had been unsure that it was him, but there was no mistaking his wining smile and his laugh. Her hands tightened around her hilt and she took two steps from the wall before she could compose her self. She did not recognize the Accepted that he was tangled around, but it did not take a genius to see that she was beautiful. Over time she had learned to over look his smiles and the flirting, but this was too far. Her caramel eyes popped even wider when she realized that you could see the girls…Her dress and shift were soaked completely through. The hardest thing she ever did was watch Jasine and that girl disappear into the Tower. Making something that passed for a good bye to Llugh she stormed back to her office; making only one stop to inform the Perivar, Melenis and Arath to send Jasine to her straight away. She’d been hard pressed to keep the anger from her voice, but she though she managed by a hair.

 

Thera

Jasine had marvelled in the change in Kabria's demeanor after she fell in the fountain.  He wasn't sure exactly what he had expected of her, but after the laughing and crying had subsided, the girl seemed to have let go of the anger and anxiety that had been driving her and she had turned into... just a girl.  A friendly, warm, and funny girl who was a delight to be around.  By the time he had left her at her rooms, he was smiling brightly and even if he did get a dirty look from one Aes Sedai, at least he had managed to be out of the completely restricted areas before she saw him.  He'd hoped he would see Selene on his walk, but he didn't recognize his long-haired blonde sister among any of the white-dressed girls scurrying about. 

 

It was Perivar who told him that he was wanted bu the Mistress and Jasine paled at the other boy's expression.  He stopped only to toss his wet clothes into a laundry hamper in the barracks before trotting across the yards and knocking briskly on her door, wondering if he should even try to talk his way out of a penance for leaving the yards when he should have been training.

Ever since her life with Serena had fallen apart Thera had been quick to anger. Her short fuse made almost none existent by the constant stream of booze she’d poured down her throat, but since meeting Jasine many of the storm clouds had passed.

 

With the door to her office closed Thera had unleashed a torrent of curses and abominations to make the most hardened solider cringe, hoping to release some of them before Jasine arrived. She very much feared that if she didn’t lives could be lost. Stamping to her side table she poured a large glass of wine and drank it down immediately pouring another. Binge drinking was a habit she had lost, but even as the spiced liquid ran down her throat the anger in her belly lessened.

 

Thera was seated behind her desk with her third glass of wine when Jasine finally came. The corners of her mouth were drawn down in a frown and her eyes sparkled with a dangerous light. “Sit down Jasine.” Pushing the mug to the side of her desk she focuses on his eyes, not allowing herself to see more of the man she loved. “Care to explain where you were today? What was so important that you felt you had to miss your training?”

 

She hoped he would tell the truth, but a part of her wondered if she would be able to accept his words.

 

She was obviously in no mood for his smiles, and seeing her this upset didn't really make him feel like smiling anyway.  He took his seat quietly, folding his hands on his lap atop the book he still carried, but he sat straight and didn't flinch from her gaze.  He had made the choice to help Kabria, and he would stand by his choice, even if it meant a penance.  He formed the void with almost no effort, it would help him get through this without letting his emotions for Thera sway his thoughts.  He deserved no special treatment just because he was in love with her.

"Forgive me, Mistress Thera.  An Accepted was in the yard when I was eating lunch, but she left to buy some books in Tar Valon.  I saw her back again while I was running my laps, and went to speak to her.  She hadn't bought any books because she needed help carrying them.  I offered to help her, and she asked if I could do so right away.  I neglected my training and said yes.  She ended up buying more books than even I could carry alone, but the shopkeeper offered to have them delivered to the tower.  I bought this book as well while we were at the shop." He paused a moment, wondering if he should go into the whole fountain thing, and then decided that she had likely asked the front gate guards already if she had been looking for him.  "She fell into a fountain and I escorted her back to her room because she was using my coat to cover herself.  I know I'm not supposed to go into the initiates' quarters, but I didn't go into her room at all."

 

He tried to gauge her reaction to his words as she spoke, but she was almost entirely unreadable except for the dark glitter of anger.

It was hard to look into his sweet face and see anything but the man she loved. But the anger that Thera was feeling stemmed from jealousy; a vicious emotion. Unbeknownst to Thera her hands clenched and released crumpling the papers on her desk.

 

“You know you have to be punished for missing your training?” Her voice was devoid of emotions, but tears welled in her eyes. “ Your too far into your training for extra laps to be of any good, but I think a week of mucking out the stables will do.” Thera was too lost to even consider the fact that anything to do with horses was never a punishment for Jasine.

 

She started at a spot on the wall just past Jasine, with a faraway look in her eyes. Almost as if she wasn’t seeing what was in front of her face. Horrible images of Jasine and this..girl laughing and prowling the street hand in hand were coupled with the faces of the scores of girls that had fallen for his smile. A single tear had escaped her eyes and Thera turned her head to wipe it away. The story sounded so innocent, but why them did she feel as if she had been betrayed?

 

Finding her courage she looked back into his eyes. “Why?” Her voice was a coarse whisper. “Why is it that I am not enough? Why do you always have to act the way you do towards every girl you meet?”

 

Jasine's expressionless determination to see this meeting through without looking to Thera as the woman he loved melted away with those first tears that stood in her eyes.  He had hurt her, and had apparently hurt her very deeply.  Concern and compassion took over for anything else and he rounded the desk in a smooth motion.  Anger fueled her and she stood up to push him away but he wrapped his arms around her.  If it had been a fight for her life, Thera could have easily beaten him, but thankfully for Jasine after one swift elbow that would leave his ribs bruised, he managed to get a hold on her.

 

"You are all, and more, any man could want."  His words were a little labored, she had one heck of an elbow on her and he counted himself lucky that she hadn't drawn steel on him.  "I do not smile and talk pretty to girls because I wish to hurt you, Thera.  Nor because I wish their affections as I do yours.  It's just, I don't know.  It's part of who I am.  Girls respond well to a smile, it makes them easier to deal with.  There are times when a smile and a compliment were all that kept me from being killed by my sisters, I'm sure." He looked down into her eyes, he was always somehow surprised when they were this close that she didn't tower over him, she always seemed so imposing and in command when she strided across the yard or when she was sitting behind her desk as a queen on a throne.

 

"Please, trust in my love for you.  Trust that I would never do anything with the intent of hurting you.  If I were to spend the rest of my life with only you in my arms and only you in my sight, I would die a happy man. Girls are..." he trailed off a moment, thinking about the Accepted he had escorted around Tar Valon this afternoon. "Girls are complicated, and difficult.  Smiling at them and flirting is the only way I know how to deal with them at all.  Light! That Accepted today threw a fit because I called the time we spent together a practice date and said she was cute." He shifted to hold her in one arm and laid a finger across her lips to keep her from exploding at him. "Don't you look at me like that, we did not practice anything beyond conversation.  If I'm ever to bond an Aes Sedai and manage one who isn't after more than my sword, I'm going to have to deal with women and you're going to have to trust that I won't do anything that compromises our relationship."

 

He moved his hand to her cheek and cupped it lovingly.  He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't know if she would allow it.  Well, she hadn't exactly allowed him to hold her, either, so he bent his head and kissed her  soundly on the mouth, with more force than he usually would use on her, because he wanted to manage the kiss before she could decide to shove him away.

The urge to reach for her dagger flashed through Thera’s mind, but she settled for throwing her elbow into his ribs with incredible force. She squirmed and shoved trying to keep him away from her, but always with the conscious thought that she didn’t really want to hurt him. Even her frantic blows were placed with care.

 

He was only trying to make things better, but didn’t he know that every word was like a knife to her heart. Slowly her struggles stopped until she was standing very still with a dangerous light in her eyes. This time she would not allow his beautiful brown eyes to sway her temper, but the weakness that was so ingrained in her made her wait a moment before roughly shoving him away. Taking a few steps to put the desk back between them Thera wiped off face, drying any signs of tears. “ I guess I will have to add harassment to the Mistress of Trainees’ person to your list of offence, count yourself lucky I don’t add attempting to have personal relations as well.”

 

While he was speaking Thera had allowed the void to consume her, drawing in all of her anger and pain. Somewhere.. distant she could still feel her aching heart, but right now she needed the calm. “ You make it all sound so innocent and perhaps to you it is, but to me….” Sitting down on the edge of her desk Thera kept a sharp eye on Jasine making sure he could get no closer. “ I do not see it that way. Call me foolish but it is how I feel. I have learned to ignore the smiles and the swarms of women around you, but today seeing you wrapped up in that girls’ arms and her nearly naked! I…that was a pain I cannot express.”

 

The mug of wine rested on her desk and Thera picked it up to take a drink. “ I guess what I have to come to except is what I have always known. Right now, to me you are nothing more than another trainee. You cannot be more, not yet,….. maybe not ever.” Tipping the mug back she finished it and her eyes drifted to the pitcher across the room; but there would be plenty of time for that later. “Go back and sit down” She pointed to the chair in front of her desk and only after he sat did she make a move to regain her own chair.

 

The separation was like torture, both the physical and emotional, but within the Void it was someone else’s torture. “What happened today will bring extra retribution of course, you are not allowed to spend training time cavorting with Accepted and certainly not escorting them back to their room.”  Even in her emptiness she wanted to scream and to cry, to lash out, or just fall into his arms.

 

Meeting his eyes with such cold calculation was hard, but she forced herself. If she dropped her guard now there would be no regaining it. Even with all her  logical thought, and her attempts at separation, Thera couldn’t leave things like this, she would give him one more chance to say the words she wanted to hear. “ I accept that you would never compromise our…situation Jasine, but that still does not mean I understand.”

 

"By the Light, Thera... her being half naked is exactly why she was so wrapped up around me!  How do you think she felt, having ever man and half the women between the bookstore and the Tower ogling her and seeing all that she was.  I covered her as best I could in my coat-" He cut off as he moved to the chair and dropped heavily into it.  He would never understand this, her switching between being the woman he loved and being the Mistress of Trainees.  He didn't expect any special treatment for her affections, he had shirked his trained and deserved to be punished for that, but it was unfair of her to punish him by way of her station because she did love him and felt wronged personally by his actions.

 

He held his tongue until she had finished speaking and then held it a while longer.  He hadn't ever wanted to hurt her, but the way she was hurting him made him want to lash out just as she was, to tell her he could be nothing more than trainee to her forever as far as he was concerned.  He'd already lost one love, he would live through losing another.  He could feel anger boiling up where only concern and regret had been before, especially when he thought about her threatening to put harassment and an attempt at personal relations onto his file.  Harassment! For kissing the woman who loved him!  Before he could form the void and feed his anger into it, he knew it showed in his eyes if not his expression.  He breathed deeply, forcing the emotions into the flame but found there was one he couldn't budge.

 

Regret.

 

The thought startled him and he dropped his gaze to his hands, balled up into fists against his thighs.  He relaxed them, and thought about Thera.  When he finally managed to speak, his voice was a hushed whisper.  "I'm sorry, Thera.  Mistress Thera."  The void hadn't been able to hold but when it collapsed the anger was already gone with it.  And he knew that he could not give up his feelings for her, and would never see her as nothing more than the Mistress of Trainees.  "I'm sorry I have hurt you, and I'm sorry that I've given you reason to feel slighted.  I have no answer for your questions of why, because there can be no reason to do as I have done to you.  I have disrespected your position and I have disrespected you as a woman."  He finally was able to lift his gaze to hers and he held it, seeing not only a woman who was angry and a Mistress who was disappointed, but seeing the person he loved with all his heart, hurt and wounded and bleeding because of his actions.

 

"I never meant to cause you pain, but my intentions do not change the fact that I have.  I beg your forgiveness and will do whatever it takes to earn it.  Anything, that you would accept me and return the love I feel for you."

Just the slightest hint of another woman made Thera rage; she could feel the edges of the void tremble when he spoke of her. Her mind was filled with thoughts of him and her heart was bursting from the betrayal and easy as that the void vanished. Leaving Thera helpless to fend off her wildly swinging emotions. 

 

She tried to keep the passion from her voice, but as she spoke the heartache that was ripping her apart came through.

“I have told you before that my anger holds no bearing on how I feel towards you. With a few words you made me love you and that is not something easily taken back.” Her arms ached to hold him and reassure him of all that she felt, but the jealousy wouldn’t allow it. “ I forgive you Jasine and I except all that you said, but right now I still feel hurt. It will fade with time and I am sure eventually I will have forgotten all about it.”

 

It was hard to speak the words of forgiveness when you did not feel it in your heart. Thera knew that this transgression was not enough to make her rethink where she had given her heart, so she said the words knowing that someday her heart would follow. For now she would suffer with quiet resignation.

 

“Perhaps I will learn not to read so much into a smile or a look if you can promise not to escort naked women back to their quarters.” It was a poor try at a joke, but she didn’t know what else there was to say. With time this too would pass, but for now she needed to be alone with her anger and pain.

 

Jasine rose to his feet, hands clasped before him at his waist.  He bowed to her, a mirror of the precise and stiff bow he gave her the first day they met, and then rose again and spoke softly. "Thank you for forgiving me, Thera.  If there was any way to take back the hurt I have caused you, I would." He thought about saying more, but just mentioning Kabria seemed to make her upset all over again, so instead he moved to the door.  Once he was there, he paused and looked back to her.

 

He couldn't help the smile that came unbidden to his lips.  Even tear-stained and wrung out, she was beautiful.  All of the fire and passion and woman of her never failed to do anything but make him more in love with her.  And now he had a new reason to love her - the possessiveness she felt for him said more about how much she wanted and needed him than she ever had with words. 

 

"So, did you want me to get started playing with the horses now, or should I go back to training?  And while you're assigning punishment that I like anyway, how about a little spanking?"  He turned his rear towards her and shook it a little, peeking over his own shoulder to give her a grin, with one hand on the doorknob in case he needed to run.  Fast.

The formal bow cut like a knife, but it was her own doing that had brought them here. So all she could do was accept the pain. Leaning back in her chair Thera shivered and shook her head. She had known from the start that loving Jasine would not be easy; she’d just never dreamed it would be this hard.

 

There was one small comfort in his leaving, she noticed, as she watched him walk away. The almost deadly grace in which he moved, coupled with muscles honed to perfection by his training was enough to make her shiver again. She was still examining his body when his liquid brown eyes met hers; holding a suspicious twinkle.

 

Blushing to her hair Thera stood up with her mouth hanging open. It was a toss of coin which fascinated her more, his jest or his shaking backside. Pushing back her chair she was around the desk in a flash, shoving her arm into the door just in time to keep Jasine from running. For a moment she only looked into his eyes, amusement battling jealousy. The amusement winning when she saw the panic in his face. With the weight of years of practice behind her Thera pushed her shoulders into his, sending him stumbling back against the door. Unbridled passion like that of a wild animal erupted and she flung her arms around him, kissing him fiercely. The roaring fire within was hard to stifle, and it was several minutes before she could tear herself away.

 

Breathless she leaned against his chest and smiled at the familiarity of his touch. “ If you..ever..make me smile like that again.. when I am angry… I will drub you from here to Caemlyn and back.” Laughing she laid her head back against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. When she was sure that the feel of his arms around her would last the day Thera pulled back and looked into his eyes, some of the laughter gone. “I only hurt because I love you so much, and I am so afraid that I am not worthy of your affection.” Standing up straight she began tugging the wrinkles from his coat and smoothing the collar of his shirt. “Now off with you, before I decide to do far worse than make you stand around kissing me all day” Winking at him she patted his lapels down flat. In her heart she still felt pain, but his smiled showed her the depth of their love.

 

Gambled and won.  Like so many things involving this amazing woman, Jasine had taken a chance, laid it out on the line, and had reaped a reward that was more than he could have imagined.  In the absolute best case scenario, he had hoped Thera would smile at his jest - he'd never have expected it to win him a kiss and the passionate and frightening embrace that went along with it.  He was all of a sudden glad that the woman could race circles around him, he'd have been sad if he'd gotten away before she got to him and it cost him that!

 

He drowned in her affections, losing himself entirely in the passion of their brief encounter, and when she finally let him up for air he leaned back against the doorway with his arms wrapped around her, holding her to his chest.  She was all fire, this woman, and he smiled as she threatened him.  "No making you smile, got it."  He grinned and hoped that her drubbing was something like what she'd just given him, he wouldn't mind a trip to Tear if that was the treatment he got along the whole way.  He stroked a hand up and down her back gently until she pulled away enough to speak to him seriously.

 

He caught her hand fussing at his lapel on one of his and bent his head to press a kiss to her palm.  "As you wish, Mistress."  He said the words with warmth and affection now, and smiled to her before turning to the door and leaving.  It was always hard to leave the relative privacy of her quarters; it was the only place he had ever been allowed even a moment of relaxation about his emotions for her.  He schooled his features to be impassive and a little angry, it would be expected for him not to come out of the Mistress's office all sunshine and happiness.  Especially when she'd been seen angrily asking after him in the yards. 

 

After he had seen to the horses and performed some extra work there for a few hours he went and hunted down one of the Arms masters and reported to them for extra duty for shirking his punishment.  It wouldn't due for it to be seen by anyone that Mistress Thera had gone light on him in assigning punishment.  No one would have believed that the woman had assigned him to the stables as punishment.  He spent several hot, sweaty hours working with the oil rag and whetstone, caring for and maintaining the many practice and training blades that didn't belong to any individual, but was there for the Tower.