Miria still felt as though she walked on air, even hours after leaving the barracks that morning. The feeling of elation could all be layed at Kedyn's feet, the pure bliss of requited love. Not to mention her first kiss. Or other...discoveries...she had made through the night. A blush bloomed on her cheeks at the thought, her blood already heating at the thought, the anticipation of learning more when she saw him again, which would be very soon.

 

Having just bathed, her hair clean and new clothes on her body, Miria intended to look for Kedyn, still unable to remove her bright smile, despite the mood of despondancy that seemed to shroud the Citadel. How could she not smile, when she was in love? Even the aches from the battle paled into insignificance, the stitches at her side trivial.

 

Only one thing could drag the smile from her face, replacing it with an icy cold rage. She halted, mid stride, eyes almost shooting sparks as they eyed Carnhain. Carnhain, the one that could have ruined it all, could have stolen her love before it began. She clenched her fists at her sides, fuming silently. Kedyn had told her to let it go, that it would only cause more pain, but looking at the blonde man, Miria could only see his cruel hands around her beloved's throat, and she knew she could not, would not, let it lie.

 

Determinedly she stomped over to where he stood, an ant compared to a horse, it seemed, though anger gave her strength and confidence as she stopped in front of him, face contorted with fury. "How can you live with yourself?" She demanded softly, tightly. "I thought you were his friend...but you are nothing but an animal." Miria practically hissed, anger and loathing turning her blue eyes into a vivid storm, as she barely held herself in check enough to prevent her hands from circling his neck.

 

~Miria

The words cut him like a knife. Too close to the heart they came, dredging up pain still raw. Too often those very words had gone through his head. Running through his mind like an echo in some great cavern. Naming him animal, unworthy disgrace, unfit to live.

 

He spun, his face red in anger. How dare she name him such! Had he not suffered enough! Did she not realize he thought the same! Mother's milk in a cup! Could the world not leave him in peace! He was not fit to live, nor was he fit to die. Would this life not leave him alone?

 

All anger, his own self-loathing, whirled about to face this torment. Ready to lash out and release the pent up anger.

 

But he couldn't, even as he opened his mouth an even stronger emotion took him- pain. The young man simply stood there, almost cowering under the furious gaze of the young woman. Like a dried prune, he stood shrivelled.

 

"An animal?" he choked out, his throat dry. "You have no idea how many times I've called myself that. I'm nothing but a beast- a monster." he sank to his knees. There were no tears in his eyes, he was empty. Devoid of anything except bitterness and self contempt.

 

How had he fallen so far? The scenario with Anon replayed itself in his memory. The tankard of ale, thrown by a malnourished boy. Thrown in anger and revenged. It had made contact with the skull. Like a rock the old innkeeper dropped to the ground, his neck twisted at an odd angle, his eyes staring at nothing. His unseeing eyes stared at Carnhain, accusingly.

 

Slowly, the broken man took his belt knife and held it out to Miria. "Go on," bitterness filled his voice "kill the thing before you. Kill the rabid beast on its knees. Light, I don't care! Better you end it."

 

Nothing. Nothing left except grief now. His bitterness and self-loathing were poured out as he tried to ammend what he had done. He kneeled and wept.

Miria didn't know what she'd expected from Carnhain, what kind of response in return to her outburst, but she was surprised that he didn't deny her words, didn't defend himself.

 

Her eyes widened as he sank to his knees, the despair clear on his face, threatening to dispel some of the anger coursing through her. "kill the thing before you. Kill the rabid beast on its knees. Light, I don't care! Better you end it." Miria eyed the blade, hilt forwards, offered to her. Light but she wanted to take it. To return some of the terror she had felt, the thought that she could have lost everything at the hands of this beast. To inflict pain, like he had to her.

 

Her hand trembled, and she reached for the knife, staring past it to the sobbing mess before her. It would be so easy, to lash out, to give into her rage, her frustration...yet it would make her no better than him. Disgustedly she tossed the blade aside, a sneer twisting her features. Kedyn had been right, they had seen enough hurt, death, she didn't need to add to it.

 

"I would not make it so easy for you as to take the coward's way out." She said scornfully. "You live with the knowledge of what you are." She spat, her hands once more clenching at her sides in a pitiful attempt at restraint. He seemed broken, yet still she was not satisfied. Almost of it's own volition, her fist swung out, all her anger and fear and torment balled up between her knuckles as she connected with his pretty boy face, remembering everything she had been taught and landing a rather impressive blow to Carnhains right eye.

 

She grunted, shaking her fist, surprised to find it had indeed hurt her hand, though satisfied at the effect on Carnhain. Breathing heavily, she struggled to once more contain her anger, breathing deeply, flexing her swollen knuckles. "If you ever valued your friendship with Kedyn, you'd stay away from him." She warned, knowing full well that Kedyn would disagree, but still too caught up to care, her eyes shooting angry sparks at the pathetic man before her.

 

~Miria

Coward. The word resounded in his head, invoking conflicting emotions. How dare she! Is it cowardice to take his life? Has she ever faced what I've faced! I'm nothing but a weak, unworthy coward. Who does she think she is calling me coward! I don't want to live anymore! Let me escape!

 

His inner conflict was brought to an sudden halt as something collided with his eye. Rage ignited for a moment before being snuffed out again by his depression. Like some wretched, beaten, dog, he lay on the ground wimpering, ready for more.

 

He nodded piteously at the command. He didn't deserve Kedyn's friendship. Not after what he did- what he's done. Three times! Three times he'd nearly taken Kedyn's life. No, he didn't deserve him.

Miria's anger slowly faded to disgust as she looked at the pathetic heap Carnhain made in front of her. He had not even tried to utter one word in defense, simply nodding to her demand to stay away from Kedyn. It was pitiful, the once cockey, attractive soldier now a snivvelling, pathetic man. She shook her head and stepped back from Carnhain.

 

"You are a wretched animal." She spat through clenched teeth, backing away. The sight was disturbing. She had felt such anger, such violence towards Carnhain for what he had done, but how could she lash out so at a broken man? She had to leave before she began feeling pity for him. Light, she hoped Carnhain would heed her words and stay away from Kedyn though, no doubt Kedyn would feel pity for his friend. Friend? Ha! That term couldn't really apply anymore.

 

With one last disparaging look, Miria turned on her heel, fists clenched at her sides as she walked away. Her knuckles hurt from the blow she had delivered to Carnhain, no doubt they would be bruised and swollen soon enough. She should put something cold on them, to reduce the visible effects before she found Kedyn. No doubt he would disapprove greatly of what she had done, regardless of her motives. She sighed softly to herself. She had never been quite so...fiesty before. Not that she had been timid, but it was as though her love for Kedyn had brought out the lioness in her, the will to fight for and protect what she had, whatever came her way. It was crazy, what love could do.

 

~Miria