Now that she had actually decided it would be in her best interest to take Corin along with Saline and herself on their mission to the blight, Lavinya was stuck as to how best approach the subject. If he wasn't so consistently prickly and moody it would be a simple task, probably even pleasant, but he seemed to have made it his life's purpose to irritate her. Light, how successful he was proving on that point. It frustrated her that she was so uncertain on almost every point with Corin. She did not truly know how to heal him, and certainly was no closer to broaching the subject of Elise than she had ever been. She barely even knew how to approach him without getting burned for doing so, but if he was determined to push her away, she was more determined to see him made whole, and if at all possible, hers. That was the main problem, right there. She still wanted this man, loved him deeper than she could have imagined. It was difficult to present an attitude of indifference when she really longed to grab him and alternate between shaking the life out of him and kissing him breathless. Fool man, and more bloody fool she!

 

Lavinya still had serious misgivings about taking Corin with them. Not that she doubted his ability to act as guard, but for a myriad of other reasons. But somehow none of them seemed quite as important as keeping him within arms reach. For his own safety, of course. It had nothing to do with jealousy. Well not really. It would be a good opportunity for him to flex, so to speak, to make use of his skills and possibly start forgetting that other woman who seemed to fill his head constantly and put them both into ill-humours, for entirely different reasons. The more Corin mooned over the loss, the more Lavinya found herself glad the wretched woman was out of the picture...which of course filled her with copious amounts of guilt and self-loathing. She did not with the former Amyrlin ill, but would it kill Corin to get over her, at least a little bit?

 

It was those thoughts that had Lavinya frowning when she called upon Corin, obediently waiting beneath a shady apple tree in the tower gardens as her note had politely requested. Her hair was pinned at her nape and caught up in a delicate net of gold thread and moonstones, which matched the necklace circling her throat. Her dress was a deep sapphire slashed with touches of gold, and while it would hardly be called modest - there was too much cleavage on display for that title - it was rather more restrained than her normal attire. Her experiences at the Black Tower had changed her opinions somewhat on her manner of dress, but old habits were hard to break. Besides, she still had more than her share of vanity, she was just more...subtle. And certainly not dressing for the hunt. Unless of course a certain someone would show some interest in being pursued...Lavinya perished the betraying and ultimately stupid thought hurriedly. Corin was in love with another woman, and she was no more to him than a one time friend. Best she keep that in mind at all times. She was trying to help him, not ensnare him. That was all. Not that she would object to anything more, of course. Well no one in her position would, surely?

 

Abruptly realising she was studying Corin in silence a little too steadily, she dropped her gaze and wiped away her scowl. What he must think of her at times; she half suspected she didn't really want to know. "Corin." A small smile touched her lips but she was wary. It was easy to push the wrong buttons with him, and she did not want to start a fight, not when she was about to give him a mission. If he was in the wrong frame of mind he would likely prove difficult and Lavinya didn't want to have to force him unless it was necessary, no doubt he would give her no end of trouble in punishment. "I'm pleased you have come." Not like he had much choice, given the terms of his punishment issued by the Commander of the guards. Still, it did no good to rub it in his face at every turn. She had carefully worded her note as a polite request to see him and not an order. It had seemed nice to her, anyway. Corin seemed to see attack no matter what she did. It didn't help that he made her angry often enough for her to actually lash out at him when she had intended to be civil and friendly and helpful. And perhaps loveable. No, just friendly.

 

"I have some news that may interest you. Walk with me?"

 

Lavinya

Walking on Eggshells...

The gleaming spires of the White Tower of Tar Valon had at one time

felt more then home to him. They had been a part of his soul and inner

workings. They were a friend and a companion; they housed a heart

strong and talented. A heart that would see light brought back into

the world and goodness restored to it. That was before, another

lifetime it seemed. Now, the Tower no longer glinted, its stark harsh

white towers empty of heart. Disembodied eyes that seemed to watch

from above, always seeing, always knowing his steps. They were gone

now, blotted out from existence. Only bleached bones now to stare

vacantly down on him, a constant reminder of his inadequacies.

 

He had been looking toward the path his feet had traveled before. The

path to the winter roses and a burned line in the lush garden grass.

The line would of course long since grown in again. But forever could

he find the line Sirayn had burned in that private courtyard. Smell

the sweet scent of it's incineration, of the flower she burned during

their practice. She was a good teacher but a lousy student. The though

brought a ghost of a smile to his face briefly. So many memories held

this place; held the gardens and the Tower. Even his clothes, the

loose white shirt and fit dark green breeches he wore now held

memories of their own. Perhaps this had been a mistake, to come back

to the tower and all the memories that continued to haunt him. Oh

Lavinya and the Commander had done a good job at keeping him occupied

or exhausted; Lavinya more so. But nothing could completely blot out a

life he had almost grasped. Nothing but time and his own acceptance of

the Wheel’s spinning.

 

He unfolded the note once more and read the short request in a flowing

feminine hand. Even that had brought back memories of the

correspondence lessons Sirayn had taught him, the .... He shook his

head. She was gone; he had to get use to that. It was Lavinya Sedai's

hand that now moved his life. A life given to her by the Commander. It

should not have been his right to give, yet by agreeing to return and

wanting to remain in the Guard Corin had given consent to his Command.

The Commander of an army must remain strong and his men must be

willing to follow his orders, regardless of their personal opinion or

the army is ineffective and men would die unnecessarily. He reminded

himself daily. It was not that it should be hard to be under the

guidance of Lavinya. He had loved her once. Had, the word seemed so

final and yet Corin knew if he allowed himself to feel, to release his

heart and follow it he would find she still held a strong portion of

it. She just seemed to find the wrong buttons to push since their

reunion, perhaps it was just him. He wasn’t sure anymore if he was

still sane some days the way she pushed him.

 

His fist crumpled the missive and tucked it once more into his pocket

before slipping a dagger from his forearm sheath. It was a throwing

dagger, the handle a continuation of the blade all in steel with

rounded edges to fit smoothly in the small hand of Sirayn. He

remembered when he had presented them to her, keeping one for himself

in memory. They had been plain, but this one was slightly different.

The small engraving of a winter rose in its grip. Why, a thousand

times why? Always questions and never answers any more. The garden

seemed to press in on him in oppression. Lavinya, it was her doing

that brought him standing here alone with his thoughts. She seemed to

try to keep him off balance all the time. Another of her ploys

perhaps, but how could she know the garden held so much memory for

him. Perhaps Sirayn had confided in her, no, unlikely that. Sirayn

kept things too close to her chest for anyone else to gain the

benefit. More like she herself had been brought here on several

occasions and happened across him in passing. That felt it would have

more truth to the matter.

 

A tickling of memory reminded him of their first meeting. He had been

banished from Sirayn's presence and had found a sort of solace at the

fountain in the main garden when Lavinya had happened across him. She

had actually startled him from his daydreams; had shocked him at

first, forgetting himself so. But there was something warm and genuine

about her back then, probably still if he would only take down the

wall around his emotions. A small smile of remembrance settled on to

his face as he played out the scene in his mind. While his eyes,

unseeing, remained on the daggers engraving.

 

The suddenness of her voice behind him tensed his shoulders slightly;

a schoolboy caught staring at the girls in his class when he should be

studying his lessons. He turned to face her the smile still loosely

pulling the corners of his mouth. His eyes touched her face noting the

smooth surface and the edging of red hair pulled back loosely. It was

unexpected that his eyes dipped slightly to the chain that circled her

exposed neck; the depth of her gowns neckline in his peripheral view.

A flash briefly at his wrist as the sun kissed the daggers edge

announced it’s departure before it disappeared up his sleeve; eyes

cutting sharply to the ground between them. She was Domani, and as

such, she wore what some would almost consider reserved for their

society. But it set a touch of heat to his face as an underlining

tinge of anger touch him again. He still could not follow his feelings

around her. Embarrassed, sorrowful, enticed, protective, and aghast.

They all grabbed him at various times and he seemed unable to control

their visits.

 

Bowing to the exact measure of required courtesy for her rank Corin

kept his eyes from her form, instead setting them on a tree just over

her right shoulder. “Lavinya Sedai, I have come to report as you have

ordered. How may this Tower Guard serve you.” His voice was formal and

crisp, emotion held at bay. Perhaps held at bay in too tight a grip, a

slight emptiness caressing the words. Was it her method of dress that

edged him today? He had no right to question her choice of how and

when she chose to display herself. Was it because she had summoned him

like a pet? No, that was just his anger; she had been polite in the

crafting of the missive. It actually had almost had the familiarity of

a friend. Perhaps as they had been before all .... He stuffed the

thought away and pulled down the scowl that had settled on to his

face. It was not her fault he could not find the peace inside him

amongst the chaos.

 

Turning slightly he dipped his head in acquiescence and swept and arm

out toward a junction of the paths waiting for her to move before

falling in a half step behind and to her left. Old habits where hard

to break. The walked a spell in silence and he kept his eyes ahead, a

quiet shadow that mirrored her steps. She had called him to this

meeting; she had to have something in mind. If patience was something

he had had before, his stubbornness had only lengthened them it

seemed.

 

Corin Danveer

 

A leaf at the mercy of a hurricane of emotion.

 

So, it was to be exacting and correct Corin today. Lavinya hid a sigh behind a tight smile and fell into step just ahead of him. It was a deferential position he took, but it seemed to mock Lavinya, that he could behave so very...correctly when it suited him. It was not at all what she wanted. Friends didn't behave like master and servant, at least not when there were no eyes to see. It seemed he was content to throw their friendship to the wind along with everything else. Well, he could try, and he would find that Lavinya could be excruciatingly stubborn when the situation demanded it. It was impossible to gauge Corin's mood in the following silence, and it did not help that she could not see his face either. Likely that had been his intention; he played a deep game when he had mind to.

 

Once she would have corrected his formality; she had allowed him to call her simply by name, had insisted on it. But now it was as though a silent battle was raging, neither entirely sure what the battle was for, but nor willing to give an inch of ground just in case. It was infuriating. It was important he remembered his place; it would do nothing for his rehabilitation if he became lax and disrespectful. She was Aes Sedai, and he had sworn to serve. Not her in particular, much as she would have liked that, but it was time he remembered what his vows meant. And if that meant he saw only the shawl and not the woman behind it...well she had no choice. Watching him self-destruct was more than she could bear.

 

Clasping her hands idly behind her back as they walked, Lavinya allowed the silence to stretch on. Silence never normally bothered her - indeed it was one of her favourite tools and she employed it frequently - but either Corin was immune to it or was enjoying making her uncomfortable. She had never been uncomfortable in his presence before they parted that fateful day...why must everything change? Could none of it be for the better? Lavinya twirled the great serpent ring on her left hand in mute agitation. It was only logical that she speak first. She was the one who had something to say, after all. It's a conversation, not a competition! Speak! Delicately she cleared her throat and gazed ahead unseeingly at the path they walked as it meandered among trees and vivid flowerbeds. "Some disturbing news has reached the tower from the North," she began, wondering just how much she should reveal. It did sound too much like a hair-brained scheme when she analysed it closely...the trick would be to arouse his curiosity enough so that he was intrigued and willing enough to go before she even asked him. He needed a purpose again, after all. "News that requires discreet investigation. It pertains to somewhat of a mystery." That sounded sufficiently vague, would it pique his interest? A slight turn of the head brough Corin's profile into view; he was looking away from her, but she was certain he listened closely. He was a player of the great game, it was evident without him ever needing to mention his skills. He remained silent, and Lavinya turned her attention forwards again with an eyeroll.

 

Muttering almost silently under her breath about mule-headed men (and sharply reminding herself that she could not take it personally if his eyes were not glued to her when she had not dressed to attract his notice in the first place), she continued. "I thought perhaps you might be interested in helping unravel some of the more intricate knots?" Easy does it. Giving in to the desire to blurt that she was leaving in a month to the blight and that he was coming with her, like it or not, but she really really hoped he would like to, since she really wanted his company and hated the idea of anyone else so much as looking interestedly in his direction, was probably not the wisest course of action at that point. Not if she wanted to keep hold of her dignity. It would make her life so much easier if he even pretended to be receptive, but he alternated between hostility and painfully empty politeness. It was almost as though there was nothing soft left, not in relation to Lavinya, anyway. Ahh, it would be easier if it didn't hurt! It was a cruel joke that allowed him to sneak through her defences only to kick her in the teeth and leave her with a constant tooth-ache. Some would call them feelings, she supposed. It would be easier if the cool facade weren't just an act, that she truly were aloof and detached from whatever he might do or say. As if she actually didn't care. Couldn't he give her even a tiny indication of what he was thinking?! Lavinya's hands clenched tightly to each other at the small of her back.

 

Lavinya

watch out, she's gonna blow!...

No matter the appearance from a distance, this actually felt somewhat right to him. In step behind a sister that had a need of him. No ties to heart or life. No games for him to decipher. He was simply a tool of the Tower set out for the purpose of Aes Sedai and their grand plans for this Age. At a time earlier in his life he would have been in this place behind another. Ultimately receiving word of his next match, the next person he was to be set upon by the master he served. Just the simple thought creased his forehead briefly and brought a fierce look to his face before he could school it back. He hoped Lavinya had not seen it, but he noted the sudden twisting of her serpent ring while her hands remained behind her back. Perhaps a warning to him that she still controlled his life? He had sworn service to the Aes Sedai and perhaps she was reminding him that she indeed was Aes Sedai. That she was his master now and he would serve her.

 

A deeper crease folded across his forehead, eyes taking on a glint of defiance at the thought. He was no one's pet; and yet he was. Frustration, his new companion thanks to Sirayn's abandonment of him, smiled silently at him. Taunted him to react, to voice his displeasures. The sound of Lavinya clearing her throat snapped his mind back to the task at hand and instantly set his face to emptiness. Her words washed over him and tripped the switch in his mind easily. Without focus he began to spin out possible types of news that could be taking place in the North that might concern the Tower. His eyes took in the path before them but noted little as his mind ticked away at a puzzle offered to it. Had the North fallen? Perhaps it was under threat and they had been able to get word to the Tower for aid? Perhaps they had caught a darkfriend of influence and needed the sisters to ensure he was delivered to the Tower safely for questioning? Perhaps one of the High families had found discourse with the Tower and where about to receive a reminding visit? His mind rattled on for several spans in it's well oiled fashion before he realized he was at it and ground the gears to a halt.

 

Those were the thoughts of a player of Daes Dae'mar, something he was no longer. At least something he was trying to avoid being again. He was a Tower Guard. A simple Tower Guard here to serve the needs of the Tower and die for her. Her? Was it the Tower that breeched that thought or an Aes Sedai. His mind plucked movement from his peripheral vision and flicked a quick gaze to the fall of red hair to his right. It wasn't ..... No ... Pay attention man. You are a guard and nothing more. Privately he berated himself before her voice once more filled the air before him with an offer. An offer that the old Corin would have already been at work on. The man he had been before the field; before hurt Lavinya, before Sirayn had abandoned him. Even before he had thrown logic away to search her out and failed. Even at the thought his mind tried to betray him again and attempted to start it's spinnings.

 

Ruthlessly he crushed it's will and brought it back to heel. “Intricate knots are the specialty of Aes Sedai and those of your own order most assuredly Lavinya Sedai. But as a guard sworn to the service of the White Tower and it's occupants. I will serve as one of the squadron you assign to this task if it is your wish.” He bowed slightly remaining in step and noticed the clench of her hands. It made no sense, surely she wasn't asking him to lead the guards that would be assigned to this mission? The Commander held that role and set the terms of rank and order. Could she have requested it of the Commander? He was a guard, what did he care for the mysteries of secrets. But he did care, that was what truly bothered him and set his jaw to clenching.

 

Corin Danveer

A blacksmiths puzzle

 

Stubborn to a fault. He had to be intrigued - Sirayn wouldn't have made use of an agent that had no interest or talent in the Game of Houses, but he refused to give an inch or show a sliver of interest. Corin put on the appearance of being nothing more than a dutiful guard, but Lavinya sensed the silent mockery behind his words, but whether it was aimed at himself or her she did not know. Light, she didn't know much at all of what was going on behind his deferential mask. She longed to force aside the facade, to break down the solid walls he had erected to hide behind. She wanted to hit him. And kiss him. But mostly thump him about the head with a stout stick. Maybe then he would show something more than this farcical respect.

 

The sigh that escaped her was one of barely veiled frustration, and she reined in her temper with some difficulty. She would play it his way, if that was what he wanted. "Your servitude does you credit Corin, I will be sure to make mention to the commander your willingness to serve the tower." Her lips twisted wryly. Was it his hope that if he proved himself as a loyal guard he would be released from Lavinya's service? It was going to take more than a few insincere comments to prove himself after abandoning his duty. As far as she knew, Lavinya was the only one that knew the truth of his disappearance and the extent of his link to Sirayn, and it was something she had kept hidden for his own benefit. He didn't even seem appreciative of that; or maybe he resented the fact that she knew at all. After all, Corin wasn't the one to tell Lavinya about that particular association - it had come from Sirayn herself, after that first chance encounter in the gardens. He had been revealed as Sirayn's agent, and the then green had even given her blessing on the relationship! That confused Lavinya to this day, but she hadn't found a way to broach the subject with Corin yet. He was stoically silent on the subject, and Lavinya was too tenderhearted where he was concerned to continue to pry. Any other sister would be ruthless; the man really ought to learn just how fortunate he was that he had been placed into Lavinya's care.

 

"Only a fool would take you as a mindless sword. Do you take me for a fool? On second thoughts," Lavinya raised a hand to stall him before he could speak, "I don't believe I really want to know your opinions of me at present. They are not likely to be particularly flattering, I imagine." She added dryly. Dutiful as he may be acting, Lavinya had received the rough side of his tongue several times since his return, on those times when he seemed to forget himself enough. "I did not mention this mystery in the hopes of making use of your weapons training." Though Saline and Lavinya had agreed that having a tower guard in their party would be handy, given that those who were warder trained were among the deadliest and most skilled fighters in the known world. "There will not be an official tower guard escort on this particular mission." Surely he had to be wondering why, any tower trained idiot would be wondering why any Aes Sedai who was not bonded would leave the tower on a secret mission without some sort of guard as escort. Lavinya deliberately refused to give any more information, let him ask her or bite his tongue off trying to refrain.

 

The meandering path they followed widened into a larger clearing, and a familiar fountain came into view, flooding Lavinya with memories of a much happier meeting with the man at her side. Stopping in her tracks, she turned to face the current source of most of her troubles. "We were friends once Corin, you and I. Do you remember? Friends?" Anger was lacing her voice, and Lavinya looked away for a moment, hands no longer resting at her back but clutching her skirts. It really was growing hard to not hit the bloody-minded man. It would certainly help to release some of her pent up frustration. "I thought my information might be something that my friend would find interesting, that they might actually want to work on it with me. Clearly you're better suited for garbage detail though. I can find a mindless mule anywhere to carry my bags to the blight." Lavinya snapped her mouth shut. Smooth, real smooth. She could write the book on taking it easy. Without really doing anything, he had managed to push her to the point of saying more than she intended and had lost her temper somewhat to go with it. The lack of any real sleep was obviously catching up to her, but there was nothing to be done for that save drinking herself into a stupor each evening, a possibility she was trying to avoid.

 

Lavinya

Looking for a stout stick...

The sigh, like the beginnings of a pressurized steam whistle slipping from Lavinya should have pulled a smile to his face. He was still stunned by the turn of events on his return, to which she deserved any vexation he could offer her really. But the smile never came, the feeling a hollow victory in the pit of his stomach as a glimmer of a forgotten feeling niggled at his mind. Had this been just a game he would have pressed her hard now; given her no time to react or form a path away from the frustration he offered her. But there was more to this then some simple game. That had become apparent early on. A simple test of wills this was not to be, as for proving himself trust worthy to Tower and Duty. He was certain that was little more than some semblance of order.

 

His focus slipped as his thoughts wandered and he found himself once more turning the puzzle pieces of Lavinya, the Commander, and the Amyrlin. Something about the way his arrival was handled did not make sense to him and he hated what did not fit to a pretty picture. Sirayn's gifting all over again. Only now the field had widened to include the reasons for this trip to the blight and Lavinya's association to it. The Grey where diplomats of a sort, but there was no treaty he could foresee that would need to be attended to so immediately. Not with all that was transpiring in the world and the White Tower. Could it be yet another attempt to vex him? An attempt to throw him off balance and in doing so ..... What?

 

Her offer to put to voice that in which he believed her metal state to be in, pricked the interest of his mind and brought the many faceted puzzle pieces to a stand still. Oh how he could inform her of the blatantly obvious ways in which she falsely believed her self in control. To add barbs to the tension between them. The vocalization of how her false bravado was so much chaff in the wind; pity for the debater who's skills lacked that of a novice. To gently stroke the flow of her red hair and tell her the world would never harm that girl she held hidden. Where did that come from? He barely kept the frown from his face and was glad that she plowed on with her own thoughts. Sparing him the need to find words while he sorted the confusion in his mind. Confusion quickly forgotten as the weight of her words registered; a slight faltering in his step. She could not be serious? Travel to the blight without a full escort of guards? It was beyond reckless.

 

Quickly Corin came to a less then fluent stop before plowing through Lavinya as she quickly came to a stop and spun to face him. The shadows on her face held the edge of fury, something he had experienced before, and he braced himself; offering a quick prey to the Creator to give him the strength not to react. The anger no longer fully veiled in her voice set his back straight as a board. Not from it's berating tones; but in defiance and an exacerbating of his own buried fury. “Friend ...... friend,” the words dripped with sardonicism but his features remained schooled to his station. He paused to regain the flatness in his tone, smooth out the bitter edges and stuff his emotions once more into the pit of darkness at his center. “You have an interesting choice of words Lavinya Sedai.” His focus remained ahead, emerald eyes shadowed in anger avoided looking directly into her own deep chestnut pools where he knew his strength may falter. “Perhaps this is the way Aes Sedai view friendship; a result of your training. But in the Guard and society as a whole; we do not enslave a friend under the bonds of duties honor. We do not use our influence and power to ease our aggrieved feelings by leashing our friends through others hands.”

 

Every word delivered without emotion, no edge or hinted inflection. Even Sirayn may have actually been proud of the way he had been able to hold control of his tongue. Doubtful she would have found fault in the amount of internal information he offered. She always seemed to have a knack at slapping you in the face with very few words and offering nothing for you to use in return without sounding childish. Oh how she loved to pounce on those offerings. A mistake one usually only made once before learning in a rather hard and harsh way when to cut your losses and accept she had out maneuvered you and always would. “If all you seek is a mindless mule and no protection, why stop at the blight? Why not go all the way to Shayol Ghul?” So much for the Creators guidance. His hands twitched slightly; a barely controlled need to shake the fool woman thwarted. What is she thinking? A thread of panic bubbled out from a dark and forgotten corner. She needed to be shaken, berated, switched, something! Why would she throw her life away so easily. Was it just to get back at him for hurting her? It always was; women were worse the mules when it came to letting go of a wrong. He wanted to turn her over his knee and spank her soundly like a spoiled child. To kiss her and erase his past mistake. Where did that thought come from? His grip had slipped once more on his emotions and things were beginning to blend in ways that made no sense.

 

Clicking his mouth shut he eased his shoulders and mentally readied himself for the blow that would surely mark his face. How could she continue to shatter the wall he was trying so hard to build. Rattle the steadiness that he needed to prove he was once more a Guard of the Tower. Perhaps there was no hope for him. If he could not keep his composure when an Aes Sedai was foolish how was he ever going to be of any service to the guard. After all, it was well known that the sisters were bound to fits of foolishness from time to time. 

 

 

Lavinya gaped at Corin incredulously before she caught herself enough to school her features into some semblance of order. How could he possibly believe she had deliberately ensnared him, just to ease her own fractured emotions? To think she was so incredibly selfish as to bend his will to hers for her own pleasures, was perhaps the biggest slap in the face. Fury welled up as she took in his guarded expression, the flatness of tone. Her knuckles turned white from clenching her hands into her skirts; they would be terribly crushed. It was either that or attempt to beat him to within an inch of his life. He had been gone from his training for some time, but Lavinya did not want to test that deadly skill, dulled or not.

 

It was evidenced with such outbursts that he was not the meek guard he pretended to be; clearly he was forgetting his place. Lavinya was torn between an urge to cry and a strong desire to punch him in the middle of that handsome face, but she did neither. To cry would be humiliating and a show of just how much Linten had truly broken her; and, well, it would never look good to be seen pummelling him with his fists. Besides, it seemed what he wanted, the way he braced himself as though completely expecting a blow. Very deliberately, Lavinya turned on her heel and strode away, towards the cheery fountain. That he could be so callous of their friendship in the place where it all began hurt terribly, like a coal in her chest. There had been no manipulations then, no artifice or insincerity; at least not on her part. Light, she still treasured the rose he had teased her with! No, she would not give in to tears. He was hurt and confused and very bitter, that was all. He was just lashing out at Lavinya because she was in reach. With those thoughts she tried to steady herself, and managed to smother her temper slightly.

 

When Lavinya spoke, she had her back to Corin, one knee resting on the fountain's edge as her fingers trailed in the cool water, hoping the chill would continue to work on her temper lest she truly did lose control - after that, things would get very messy indeed. "I did not say I had no protection; just not that from the guards." Lavinya kept her tone matter of fact, firm but far from cutting. Oh, how much more satisfying it would be to rend him with cruel words and injure him as she was suffering. "When you deliberately twist my words like that, I almost think you want to fight with me." Rising, Lavinya flicked droplets of water from her fingers before turning to face him, expression now schooled. "Is that what you need? An outlet for whatever is going on inside you? Well by all means let it out, but the Corin I remember was never cruel."

 

Lavinya gave Corin a hard stare before sitting, precisely where they had sat all that time ago. A wave of melancholy washed over Lavinya as she remembered the light-hearted banter, the flirting, the searing kiss..."I am going on this mission in a months time, to the blight." Lavinya's lips compressed angrily as she crossed one knee over the other, eyes on the rosebush rather than on Corin. If he had not been so charming, things would be so very different. Less complicated. Lonely. Burn her wretched female heart! "I have three options; one - I order you to accompany me and use you as a mindless tool to care for the horses. Two - I leave you behind, in either the sole care of the commander or perhaps another Aes Sedai." Lavinya scowled her opinion of that, but thought he would dislike that as much as she - well hoped he would. She was the lesser of many evils as far as she could see. "Or three - I ask and hope that you will be willing to accompany me, to use that intelligent mind I know you possess when it's not set to the task of making my life difficult."

 

"So what is it to be, Corin?" Lavinya folded her arms and tore her gaze from the rosebush, turning her heated glare to his stony face. "And bear in mind that you have pushed me far enough that I will make you regret it, should you continue. You've forgotten your place long enough - maybe you need a reminder."

 

Lavinya

ultimatum time!

He could feel the tension radiating from her; could see the fury etched on her face. All these he had expected, but the lack of heated retort; no physical punishment. Those two things puzzled him almost as much as the sudden turn she executed before walking away from him to the fountain's edge. That was neither the reaction he had expected or attempted to illicit from her. She should be angry, furious with him. The way she held her body spoke of it. Where she should have unleashed it in a violent temper she instead held it in barely controlled check; at least from her appearance. It had to be that Aes Sedai composure that deviated the normal response and granted her the control to move away from him when what the situation clearly required was a beating and a sever reprimand.

 

Something about the fountain she dipped her fingers into tickled his mind; the tension easing from her shoulders. At least she was not being so foolish as to believe going to the blight with out protection was an option. But if it was not the Guard, then who had she solicited for the task? More over, were they trustworthy? Did they have the skill needed? Could they be bought to betray the sisters? Too many questions; most that left him unease on this choice of protection she had yet to name. Oh how he wanted to answer her question. Yes! He wanted to fight with her, to scream and carry on. To throw insults at each other, cut each other deeply with words. Hurt her like he hurt, shake her. Make her hit him. To leave him. She didn't understand, no one did. To grab and shake her, throw her reputation in her face. Hug her, kiss her, to lay his head in her lap and weep.

 

His shoulders had slipped as he had watched her, listen to her call him out. But with her ending remark about cruelty and his confusing thoughts his shoulders came back up once more; though he could not call the heat back to his eyes. She confused him. Sirayn had confused him. He was a failure, barely worthy of standing the wall as a watch member. Yet Lavinya seemed to be determined to draw out a man that had died with Sirayn. He had died .... hadn't he? Afraid that he might actually find an answer Corin pushed away the confusing thoughts and retreated into the void. A safe place where he no longer had to face the feelings that slide off the glassy surface of the void.

 

The void had severed him well in many situations; The Game of Houses, the dance of swords, simple mindless brawling, dealing with emotions. Only Lavinya seemed on her game today. The smooth surface was far to weak and delicate for the realization of where they indeed had arrived. Sitting at the fountain's edge, he could not help but remember the scene that felt near a lifetime ago. When her deep brown eyes had looked up at him with something far from anger, tension, or frustration. By the time they were ready to leave there had been heat in those eyes but it had been the heat of love. Corin bit down on his tongue as he felt his strength of will faltering. No! ... No it had not been love, just simple lust, an ensnaring trap like the silk threads Sirayn had used only of a different color. He forced the thoughts to take shape even though he could feel the lie in them. He needed to maintain the distance.

 

Unwittingly she offered the aid to solidify a portion of that edge once more. A piece of property to be passed about like a cheap trinket. Good, she still hated him for hurting her. Held no romantic thoughts of drawing the love from him again. He was an outlet to release her torment on; a service to the Tower. How bad could it be to be put into the service of another while she gallivanted long the blight with some random group of sellswords to protect her? The problem was just that. It could mean her life; another life lost that he would mentally take responsibility whether anyone seen it as his fault or not. It galled him to be cornered so easily. A Daes Dae'mar player would never find themselves maneuvered so easily into a choice they could no more resist then to remove their own arm with a spoon. Sirayn would never have been trapped so easily.

 

The glare and not so subtle threat offered a chance of escape. If he simply but pushed her a little farther , he would not have to worry over the choice. Perhaps it would be enough for her to finally give up on him and send him back to the sole punishment of the Commander. At least then he would not have to worry about being anything other then a Tower Guard. Never have to worry over being responsible for a sisters life; for surely the Commander would never task him with such responsibility again. It would be so simple, life would be so simple ..... simply miserable. Who was he kidding? He still thrived for the elusive place he had sought at Sirayn's side as her shield, her Gaidin. Only she was gone, had rejected him long before her leaving in fact. Something he was just never able to get through his thick skull it seemed. “Lavinya Sedai, as this guard understands your wish to be that he follows and serves you in this trip, I so do commit myself to that service. I do not know what it is you expect of me. But I serve as I have sworn with what I can offer.” He bent into a perfect, formal bow. His mind once more at work on the puzzles that plagued him and the new pieces Lavinya had added. When he straightened, he appeared slightly more at ease, his face held a hint of softness to the schooled expression and his eyes no longer seemed set to a storm. Perhaps this purpose and trip would help give him a focus to point the turmoil against and offer enough of a distraction that perhaps ..... no, it was doubtful. But it was better then the self destruction path he had been on moments ago. At least he hoped it would be better.

 

Their surrounds still tried to press in on him and drudge up memories from the past. It was a battle he was slow loosing to as the light fragrance of roses drifted to him; Lavinya still in view on the fountains edge. They had played a game with a rose then. A game that ensnared them both during a moment of weakness. “If you will excuse me Aes Sedai. If I am to be of service I will need to spend more attention to my practices. My forms are still not the fluent dance they once were.” He offered her another bow  then turned toward the training grounds  hoping that it would be enough for her to release him to the yard. At least there he could find a sparing partner or perhaps a tree to take his frustrations out on with a lathe.

 

Corin Danveer

Lost to himself

 

He could have at least looked a little more unsettled by her ultimatum; that he managed to hold onto outer calm, much like herself, irritated her. He was keeping himself so tightly bound, his emotions fiercely bound behind the walls he had erected to close her out - excepting, of course, for those moments when he lost his temper enough to reveal the turmoil within. That he acquiesced to her request with such little fuss was disquieting, Lavinya had expected a far greater battle on her hands, resulting in a direct order for obedience. Not that she'd wanted that, of course, but Lavinya disliked it when things did not go as she expected. Especially when she'd deliberately pushed him into a corner. The promise to serve...Lavinya's eyes sharpened as she looked up at Corin. It was amazing how one who spent enough time with Aes Sedai learned to leave loopholes a mile wide in their promises. How much would he claim he was unable to offer? Burn him, but she would make him wait on her hand and foot if he proved too troublesome on this mission, or perhaps whisper a few words to the Red Guards to teach him a lesson or two.

 

Lavinya was pleased to see the slight easing in Corin's frame after he agreed to go; perhaps the trip could bring the healing he needed. One way or another, she would see him restored, freed from the demons he insisted on torturing himself with. And then, one day, he would open himself enough to renew their friendship, and naturally he would realise how desperately he loved her, and they would happily ever after while pigs danced the sa'sara to entertain the Amyrlin seat and horses learned to fly. Fool woman. Did he remember their first meeting? Lavinya wanted to ask him, but the closed expression on his face made her bite her tongue lest she make a fool of herself. Had he even noticed where they had walked to? Or was it so insignificant a meeting that he had already lost it from his remembrance? The line of thought she was pursuing was depressing, so she hastily stamped it down with an extra scowl.

 

Her frown turned to Corin as he turned his back on her, a convenient focus for her anger. A fight would almost have been welcome on her part; she longed to rail at him like a fishwife half the time she was with him. Dismissing him would be a relief, and yet she was irritated at his rudeness; at his total lack of reaction to their surroundings. She was the one in control here, not Corin. Agreeing would be like handing a portion of the balance back to him, but to refuse would be petty and pointless; she had no reason to detain him any further. Light was was an infuriating man! "You would do better to sharpen your eyes and ears as well," Lavinya said to his back coldly. Burn him, he was behaving as though she had asked him to act as her gaidin! "And perhaps take the edge off your tongue." Now she was showing her irritation, speaking like that. He had said nothing particularly cutting today. "Leave me." She waved him away, gritting her teeth at the formal bow he offered her. She should have slapped him until his head rung. Was that a hint of amusement? If she had a stout stick...

 

Seeing Corin slap a hand to his rump before she disappeared down the path almost made her smile. Almost. Sweet, sweet Saidar.

 

 

Lavinya