Exactly

Love is a choice. And the feelings won't always be there because Emotions are fickle. Eclipse is right when he says you can't love someone if you don't know them. However I disagree with the other part. Teenagers I think aren't mature enough for the most part to be in that kind of relationship. Also, I think it makes more sense to get to know someone well before dating. (Although, what defines "dating"?)

 

i think you're right, Locke.

 

in my own experience, the first attachment was the strongest attachment, and really the only one, though it was not right, and could never have lasted. i didn't have the maturity to understand that at the time. but i understand the concept of guarding your heart. and the concept of like minded people choosing to love and to raise a family. i don't much believe in romantic love. i think it's sort of a modern fantasy. one of those lies society tells i guess. the success rate as it is practiced today is distressingly low. i won't even get into the issues of temptation and the physical, emotional and spiritual consequences of falling to it.

 

you can get your heart more broken than you can ever manage to fix if you approach seeking a mate like sampling a buffet.

This is a good example that we are all raised in different homes and in different environments and that makes us believe in different things. I think that we in Sweden (generally, not all) have a more positive view on sexuality. But it´s still more acceptable for men to sleep around then women. That is just weired. I don´t see sex and love as the same thing. Sometimes you are lucky to have sex with someone you love and want to spend your life with though. Love is more then sex. For me it´s important that my partner is also my best friend. I have had long relationships and I have had very short (practically non existing) relationships. I have needed different things in different stages of life.

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slips away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

 

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey,

love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

 

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad, and don’t sit cryin’ over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waitin’ for something to do.

 

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey,

love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

 

Turn your heartache right into joy, she’s a girl, and you’re a boy. Well get it together, make it real nice, you ain’t gonna need anymore advice.

 

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey,

love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

yeah, see, downfall of western civilization right there. i always hated that song, though it's hard not to sing along.

 

not saying you shouldn't live your life as stupidly as i have mine, just saying if you're smart enough not to, kudos.

 

anyone ever read cs lewis the four loves? or understand the concept of love as a behavior?

 

ah, skip it.

I saw her today at the reception

In her glass was a bleeding man

She was practiced at the art of deception

Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands

 

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes you just might find

You just might find

You get what you need

but normally you just die alone and unloved.

 

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood....

Saw you stretched out in Room Ten O Nine

With a smile on your face and a tear right in your eye.

Oh, couldn't see to get a line on you, my sweet honey lover

Berber jewelry jangling down the street,

Making bloodshot eyes at every woman that you meet.

Could not seem to get a high on you, my sweet honey love.

 

May the good Lord shine a light on you,

Make every song your favorite tune.

May the good Lord shine a light on you,

Warm like the evening sun.

 

When you're drunk in the alley, baby, with your clothes all torn

And your late night friends leave you in the cold gray dawn.

Just seemed too many flies on you, I just can't brush them off.

Angels beating all their wings in time,

With smiles on their faces and a gleam right in their eyes.

Whoa, thought I heard one sigh for you,

Come on up, come on up, now, come on up now.

 

May the good Lord shine a light on you,

Make every song you sing your favorite tune.

May the good Lord shine a light on you,

Warm like the evening sun.

but normally you just die alone and unloved.

 

 

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

 

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!!!

 

wow. i had to rush home from work to see these pictures.

 

another reason to hate work.

 

wait, why is dying alone and unloved a bad thing? you don't cause as much pain that way. and dying alone, pretty much a given.

 

unless... we all go together when we go... name the artist, i'll give you 5 pretend points.

Alone, I might be able to concede, unloved, well f that

you don't have to concede anything. you're very loveable. i was speaking of myself. and a songwriter.

Well the whole thing with love, I think really depends on the person and situation. A lot of people think they are in love, or mistake their relationship for love. Love is a deep complicated thing, and while I do believe it can be true, I think in the modern world a lot of it isn't.

You know the interesting thing is, we get down to the more depressed part of this conversation (well I read it now anyway) right as the song 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails comes on my itunes.

Actually I tend to think there is a lot of love in this world. If you think you are in love then you usually are, just because it doesn't last, or isn't true love or anything else, doesn't mean it isn't love. I think the human heart has a huge capacity for love in so many different forms and ways that it is wrong for anyone to say that they aren't in love. Even Teens who say they are in love, ARE, just because it maybe more temporary and they move on doesn't mean it wasn't love. When my 11 year old tells me she is love with a boy I don't just brush it off. It's not the same love as I would have for a man, but it's her expression of what she feels at that time and who am I to disagree with how she feels. (though she has only played on the Wii with him a couple of times and is too shy to speak to him much...lol) - She'll kill me if she reads this!

I agree with you Talya!

"'All you need is Love', - John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back. Very tragic." - Judd Hirsch

Plus there're different kinds of love. You love your family in a different way from your friends, in a different way from your gf/bf.

Not in some parts of the country...

Actually I tend to think there is a lot of love in this world. If you think you are in love then you usually are, just because it doesn't last, or isn't true love or anything else, doesn't mean it isn't love. I think the human heart has a huge capacity for love in so many different forms and ways that it is wrong for anyone to say that they aren't in love. Even Teens who say they are in love, ARE, just because it maybe more temporary and they move on doesn't mean it wasn't love. When my 11 year old tells me she is love with a boy I don't just brush it off. It's not the same love as I would have for a man, but it's her expression of what she feels at that time and who am I to disagree with how she feels. (though she has only played on the Wii with him a couple of times and is too shy to speak to him much...lol) - She'll kill me if she reads this!

 

I really liked this post. Talya, very wise for a beagle, I must say. And who taught you to type with those clumsy paws! Oh, psssht I shoulda thought of it, specially designed keyboard.

 

Anyways to put another lie society tells us that I despise (I take it "favorite lies" is tongue in cheek) out there, I hate how we're taught that we're supposed to be colorblind, and that everyone is the same. It's complete horse dung, there's a gigantic spectrum of human individuality which has hundreds of different creeds, religions, ethnicities, etc. and we shouldn't pretend that we have to be colorblind to coexist. We're all equal, but we're different in so many ways it's hard to even comprehend. That doesn't mean we should all file to our little groupings that look and talk like us though, we should be able to celebrate our differences and revel in the many different perspectives out there.

If everybody agreed on everything, life would be boring, well said Despot

I agree Des, that was well said...we are all different but the same, except those here of course...*eyes Ed*

We might be the same, but we are not sane...

For what it's worth you don't have to have slept around to be able to recognise true love. I had multiple boyfriends as a teen without sleeping with them. When i was 17 i met my future husband on a blind date - we have been together ever since. He is my only sexual partner, we have been together 16.5 years, married for almost 13, had three gorgeous children and survived the stillbirth of one of them. I tell you right now - if our marriage survived that we can survive anything. I know it now, as i did then, for true love despite my previous sexual inexperience.

 

I guess what i'm saying is that everyone will do things their own way when it comes to love. For some sex is just sex - no feelings required - for others it is a part of an intimate relationship and goes hand in hand with a loving relationship.

Oh and Ed is sane, if you guys truly knew him like i do - you would be amazed by the person that he is. I know he's all fun and jokes and everyone loves to pay him out and shit-stir the crap out of him, and then he takes it all in his stride and laughs it off. I don't know how he does it - but he does and is still one of the most amazing, caring and loving people i know, and i am proud to call him my brother. Though i'll probably be in trouble for this post later - ruining his reputation - i just thought it was time someone started to say nice things about Ed for a change.

For what it's worth you don't have to have slept around to be able to recognise true love. I had multiple boyfriends as a teen without sleeping with them. When i was 17 i met my future husband on a blind date - we have been together ever since. He is my only sexual partner, we have been together 16.5 years, married for almost 13, had three gorgeous children and survived the stillbirth of one of them. I tell you right now - if our marriage survived that we can survive anything. I know it now, as i did then, for true love despite my previous sexual inexperience.

 

I guess what i'm saying is that everyone will do things their own way when it comes to love. For some sex is just sex - no feelings required - for others it is a part of an intimate relationship and goes hand in hand with a loving relationship.

 

I agree. We should all have the right to our own opinions.

 

Oh and Ed is sane, if you guys truly knew him like i do - you would be amazed by the person that he is. I know he's all fun and jokes and everyone loves to pay him out and shit-stir the crap out of him, and then he takes it all in his stride and laughs it off. I don't know how he does it - but he does and is still one of the most amazing, caring and loving people i know, and i am proud to call him my brother. Though i'll probably be in trouble for this post later - ruining his reputation - i just thought it was time someone started to say nice things about Ed for a change.

 

I tried to defend him but he kicked my butt for it. I think we all agree that when we tease each other it´s not meant in an evil way and if someone feels that they have been treated wrong they should say so. If you look around in the BT you will notice that it´s not only Ed that is the target. And what would we do without Ed?