Man, they have some interesting headlines, don't they. One today:

 

"Smile Day! It's the Happiest Day Of The Year!"

 

This gripping story is in the Daily Worthless! Star!

 

"Stranded Couple Call Boots For A 999 Rescue!"

 

In the Daily Express. I have to wonder if they sent a pharmacist straight away?

 

"Reader I bedded him, Jane Eyre goes erotic!"

 

In The Daily Telegraph.

The Torygraph, the Express and the Mail are the worst papers in the world, complete rags

The Torygraph, the Express and the Mail are the worst papers in the world, complete rags

 

*insert adapted Twilight insult*

Still a better love story than twilight.

Stories written by the Marquis de Sade have a better love story than Twilight

To bring it back to OP:

 

Reminds me of that scene in Clerks where the guy is talking bout the National Enquirer headlines