Someone says something like "Do I know you from somewhere?" - answer: "Well ... do you watch a lot of porn?"

Extra points if their significant other is with them :P

 

Someone addresses you in any way - you whisper back, eyes wide: "Can you actually see me?"

"Do you work here?"

 

" no. I'm stealing fro this store and in their uniform as not to arouse suspicion."

"What's up?"

 

I look up and say, "Sky/roof/ceiling" whichever applies.

 

I once read an article on such things.

Say in a crowded elevator to everyone "Now yuo are all probably wondering why i have gathred you here today..."

"Is that so?" when they haven't said anything at all. If you can follow it up by starting a conversation half way through extra points to you!

Page yourself over the loud speaker. Do not disguise your voice.

 

Go to a restaurant and order a diet water with a straight face

 

Answer every question with a question

 

Ask your coworker mysterious questions an then scribble in a notebook, muttering something about "psychological profiles"

 

At a random moment, suddenly jerk your head as if noticing something interesting over the person you're talking to's shoulder, then point shouting "Oh look!!! A DISTRACTION!!!"

Hand something to a stranger (anything, a coin, a rock, whatever's in your pocket), tell them to hold it for you and that you will find them when the time comes. Tell them not to look for you, you'll find them. And tell them keep it safe until you return. Tell them the fate of the world relies on it. Then run away from them as quickly as you can.

Walk up behnd some one you dont know and whisper in their ear calmly - "I hid the body - now waht?"

Go shopping, when you get to the register hand them monopoly money.

Walk up behnd some one you dont know and whisper in their ear calmly - "I hid the body - now waht?"

 

I think this is my favourite so far. I'm so sick

That's my favorite too :)

Hide if you get random eyecontact with a stranger.

Go in to a shop and ask what year it is, when they answer run out waving your arms and shouting 'it works, it really works'

Prove that you're really really smart. Become dependable for fact checking and knowing trivia. Learn how to recognize gullibility.

 

Then: Proceed to pick a fact that sounds somewhat realistic and introduce it into a conversation where they've already called you on two or three things that are true. Bonus points if you pull up the information yourself to show to them. Don't continually use the same thing, otherwise people will call you on it and it'll ruin the fun. Also, careful who else you do it around, as they may ruin the fun as well. Of course, they may join in.

 

"The moon causes people to grow shorter and Taller, just like with tides. That's why people get so upset with you, is because they're actually getting stressed by the pull of the moon. That's where we get the phrase "Are you being short with me" from, it is because when people are compressed they're much more irritable, whereas they get more generous when they're stretched out. You've never heard someone say "That was big of them?" Yeah, that's where that comes from too."

 

Proceed to add more facts on until you start making it obvious.

 

"Scientists are trying to figure out if babies born under certain moons end up being shorter or taller."

or

"It even affects basketball games, as people are trying to get used to being an inch shorter or taller."

 

 

If it's someone you'll see again, make sure you let them in on it before they head off, preferably by making it sound so absurd they finally call you on it. That way there's no hard feelings, and you'll be able to do it again. Don't do it to the same person more than once a month.

Say in a crowded elevator to everyone "Now yuo are all probably wondering why i have gathred you here today..."

 

This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

 

Walk up to a man and strt weepng, saying "I finally found yuo, mummy!"

Point up at the sky and say "Look at all those dead birds!"

 

People will look up.

My husband likes to walk up to someone wearing sandals or flip flops (or no shoes) and point at their feet and say, "your shoes are untied."

Answer phone "This is Domino's pizza, may I take your order?"

 

My uncle ALWAYS does this

Ask someone (especially someone who seems a little vulnerable or withdrawn) "What's the last thing you remember before you died?" When they ask you what you mean or if they ask for clarification, reply "I said, don't you think it's wonderful outside?"

Sit in your front yard in a lawn chair, and point a hair dryer at every car that drives by.

 

BAHAHAHA.

Answer phone "This is Domino's pizza, may I take your order?"

 

My uncle ALWAYS does this

 

I've done something similar to this once when people were always calling back to the break room looking for such-and-such person that was trying to take their break and shouldn't have been being bothered anyway. I picked up the phone and introduced myself as the McDonald's restaurant across the street and the response I got from the person calling in was "Oh crap!" and then they hung up.

 

Totally worth it for that response. Lol!

Tell Elgee or Verbal about this:

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riemann_series_theorem