Garfield comes to do it!

 

I wish I was away from here... far away!

You are inside the sun.

 

I wish I had a pet fish.

Granted.

 

 

It eats your legs.

 

I wish that no-one put Baby in a corner

granted. but your pet cat wished or it too....

 

I wish I had a private office

ninjaed but it sorta works so letting it stand

Your office is very private indeed. It is a thousand feet underground and has no door.

And I wish for fried chicken.

they're fried but you miss your stash ... of beer.

 

I wish I'd left an hour ago

You find a time machine and leave one hour earlier only to get sucked into a temporal vortex and lose a year of your life.

 

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

You end up on your friends grill for 4th of July. some time later your not friends anymore.

 

I wish I had enough money to retire.

Granted. The next day you are arrested for theft.

 

I wish I had a gaming computer.

Granted.

 

You also now live in a basement - surrounded by more computers, wear a tin foil hat and are convinced it's a conspiracy.

 

You wait anxiously for Mulder to knock on your door and ask for help.

 

 

 

I wish I was better at confronting people when it absolutely needed to be done.

Granted, but now you have no solution other than confronting them.

 

Also are you telling me it's NOT all a conspiracy?

 

I wish I knew if it was a conspiracy.

Granted. You now know of every conspiracy ever. But now they have to kill you. x_x

 

I wish for more good books.

More good books are written by the thousands. But you don't get to read any of them.

 

I wish I could sleep more.

You never wake up.

 

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

You can't, try as you might you can't go to sleep and you slowly waste away...

 

I wish we had an unlimited data plan...

Granted, But text's and phone calls cost $50 a pop...

 

I wish I was back in Japan right now.

(there's always skype! )

 

Granted, but it is 500 years in the future and you are now 500 years older...

 

I wish my dog would stop barking!

It never barks again so you have no warning when someone sneaks in and steals you phone with the unlimited data plan...

 

 

I wish that I had the freedom and resources to do what I want more than anything.

Granted.

 

And then an asteroid hits the world and destroys everything.

 

 

I wish that someone had predicted and stopped that asteroid

Granted, they stop it with 250 nuclear warheads and that fallout's now settling all over planet earth...

 

I wish something nice will happen now!

Granted. Turin gets his previous wish with no corruptions and is blissfully happy.

 

I wish that I knew what to do tomorrow

Hey!!!

 

Granted, you keep thinking about tomorrow and you loose track of the time today. The house burns down.

 

I wish this game would lead somewhere...

Granted! You rue the decision as the straightjacket is laced up, however.

 

I wish only to ruin other's wishes, generally.