Granted, but then i steal them all before u manage to eat one

 

I wish i would be less tired

Granted, you drink so many energy drinks you can't sleep for weeks and slowly become insane

 

I wish ice cream was healthy for you

Granted but only in really really big quantities, like 5 kg a day or something

 

*tries ice cream... stomach explodes*  thanks TGlem

 

I wish TGlem would get all hairy and green, with 3 eyes and 9 arms.

Granted, but he is so small that we can´t find him.

 

I wish I could write a great book.

Granted, but no body wants to read it

 

I wish I hadn't forgotten half my lunch at home >.<

You didn't. It was stolen from you on the way to work.

 

I wish I could sleep well.

Granted, but you scream loudly in your sleep making it impossible for you to ever have a meaningful relationship or live with others.

 

I wish I didn't have to clip my nails all the time

Granted. But then you'll need to clip your hair all the time.

 

I wish I could slow time

Granted but then u can't put it back to normal sleep again

 

I wish I wouldn't have a cold

Granted.  You have a dangerously high fever instead.

 

 

I wish I could function normally without requiring any sleep at all.

Granted, but your "normal function" is to poop excessively and constantly.

 

I wish I could go play basketball right now.

Granted, but then u get to play with me who's super clumsy

..

and throws the ball straight towards ur nose instead of through the basket

 

..

 

I wish i could have a warm bath tonight

Granted. But everything else will be cold.

 

I wish that I could read a nice book now

Granted, but it is a 1,546 page long book and the only word in it, repeated over and over and over, is "Nice."

 

I wish that I wasn't so tired today.

Granted, you are less tired but far more irritable and no one wants to be around you for the rest of the day.

 

 

I wish more of the good pre-1990 animes were available on DVD or other media.

Granted, but the only copies you can find are dubbed over in Marathi, a language you don't speak.

 

I wish that we win our basketball game today.

Granted but that's the last one u'll ever win

 

I wish the week ends  would last 3 days ... at least

Granted, but the week is now 849 days long.

 

I wish my nose would stop running.

Granted. But you have a headache.

 

I wish I didn't have so much more to study in so little time

Granted. But you have a headache.

 

I wish I didn't have so much more to study in so little time

 

Sad because I really do have a headache...

 

 

Granted, you now have an extra year to study after failing a grade.

 

I wish every time I opened my wallet there was an extra $100 in there.

Granted, but each time I'll manage to steal it

 

I wish I had a car

Granted, but it is the P50

 

 

 

 

I wish I could go back in time and give my 14 year old self some advice.

Granted but all those advices will make u go to ur doom

 

(hey i like that car !)

 

I wish i would be less hungry

Granted, but you waste away to nothing because you forget to eat, and you die of starvation.

 

I wish for my own personal time machine.

granted but it only seats one...

 

I wish it was march 30th