Granted, but now you aren't allowed to wish.

 

 

I wish the DISH guys would hurry up and get here. 

Granted but now the only thing that plays on your tv is a continuous loop of Justin Bieber videos and you cant turn it off

 

 

i wish i 49ers would win 10 straight Superbowls

Granted, but you can't see any of them. 

 

 

I wish my car would never need fixing again.

Granted its been blown up and beyond repair and not covered by insurance.

 

i wish that i was the supreme overlord of earth.

Granted, except now I'm the supreme Mistress of the Universe and you must answer to me. 

 

I wish that Mr. Moon was working again. 

Granted. But now he works all day every day and never comes home.

 

I wish for chocolate.

Granted, but it's baking squares.

 

 

I wish for a nice quiet day. 

Granted, but it's baking squares

Blergh

 

And that is why you are the Dark One and most evilest of us all.

Granted, but it's baking squares.

 

 

I wish for a nice quiet day.

 

As always, its always nice and quiet in your asylum.

 

I wish I could out-lol Zander.

 

Granted, but it's baking squares.

 

 

I wish for a nice quiet day.

 

As always, its always nice and quiet in your asylum.

 

I wish I could out-lol Zander.

Granted. Except now no one cares.

 

I wish I could see my Mom this Christmas.

Granted. But she can't see  you because you have been shrunk and are now teeny tiny.

 

I wish I didn't have to travel over Christmas.

Granted. You may now clean the toilets in Grand Central Station with your tongue.

 

I wish I could travel to another planet.

Well, apparently there were more pages I didn't see.

 

Granted. You have been hit in the head by falling masonry and are in a coma.

 

I still wish I could travel to another planet.

Granted but theres no air people or a way back

 

I wish Jar Jar Binks never existed. 

Granted!

Except the replacement used in episodes I, II, and III for Jar-Jar Binks was even worse.... a multi-colored unicorn that talks only with twinkling. 

 

I wish my husband's doctor wasn't paranoid. 

Granted

The doctor is now a mad scientist performing genetic mutations upon him.

 

I wish I had a cat.

Granted, but it's a Bengal tiger and it looks hungry.

 

 

I wish the next two hours would pass quickly. 

Granted, but they pass quickly because you have been attacked by ninjas.

 

I wish I had a life time supply of dark chocolate.

Granted. Unfortunately it is contaminated and is radio active.

 

I wish tax returns would just GO AWAY!

Granted, but now the prices of everything have quadrupled.

 

I wish the Broncos win the Superbowl.