The commonroom bustled with the noise of guests ordering their suppers and serving maids running to and fro with ale to quench the thirst of the many men, and few women, crying for this drink or that. Carnhain sat at the bar with the handful who were forgoing food in favour of just alcohol. Only, rather than trying to put back as many mugs of ale in as little time as possible, he stared at his half-full tankard lost in thought.

 

Over and over again, his mind replayed that night in the woods, tormenting him with insecurities, moral confusion and the other just regular confusion. Despite what many thought of him, he was in no way experienced with women. Blood and ashes, he wasn’t even that experienced with people in general! Sure, he was a soldier, a good one too, but that was how he related to people: soldier to soldier.

 

Unlike most people, he had never really learned people skills until joining the Band. He had no family except an adopted uncle and brother and even those still retained a certain soldierly quality. This... thing... with Jatasha was completely out of his league. This wasn’t what he was used to! There was no “suck it up like a man” like he would get from Rowul, Amon or even Kedyn. Instead, she had comforted him when it should have been the other way around.

 

Shaking his head, Carnhain stood up, leaving his half-full mug on the counter. He might know absolutely nothing about women or people, but he had a best friend who did. As he made his way up the stairs towards where the rooms were, he prayed Miria wasn’t around just then.

 

He didn’t bother with knocking- though in hindsight it could have provided for some very awkward situations if Kedyn hadn’t been alone. “Kedyn?” he asked, shutting the door behind him. “Have you got a minute?”

Kedyn looked up and the forlorn look he had taken on was erased instantly, more because he forced it to be than the thoughts that had created it had gone away. His mood was not great at the moment, through all the assuranced and attempts made by Miria to change that. She had finally just twisted her lips and gone to get something for the two of them to eat, leaving Kedyn alone with his thoughts on the treaty that he had helped to forge.

 

But for Carnhain, his adopted brother in all but name, he would force the worry away to help him with the problem he seemed to have. To Kedyn it was pretty obvious, the look on Carnhain's face and the tone of his voice spoke much more than Carnhain's actual words. "Of course Carnhain, come in, come in." Kedyn pushed away the chair he had been resting his feet on so that Carnhain could sit.

 

"So..what is this problem you need help with?" Kedyn cut straight to the chase, he and Carnhain were close enough that some pleasantries could be skipped if needed. He just hoped Miria took a while longer, she and Carnhain still did not get along.

 

 

Kedyn

Carnhain sat, nervously wringing his hands, avoiding Kedyn’s question and the entire reason he had come. It took him a moment to summon up the courage to even just mumble out a few detached words and excuses. “I… well… I didn’t mean for it… umm… It just sorta happened… err… I don’t know what came over me… Damnit, you’re so much better at this than me…” The blonde man blushed and glanced over at his friend who was simply looking on patiently. It gave him the courage to finally come out with it. He took a deep breath and then launched into the entire story almost without breath as if he were afraid that if he paused for just a moment something would come up and he wouldn’t be able to finish.

 

“I slept with Jatasha. I saved her from a bunch of thugs who were trying to rape her and then we got to talking and I… I guess I kinda recognized part of myself in her. At some point she tended a cut I took fighting off the thugs and I don’t think we ever really separated after that. I… well, I started crying but she simply took me in her arms and then I kissed her and well…” he blushed, leaving the rest unsaid.

Kedyn was grinning a small amused smile to himself as Carnhain stammered through his story. He was surprised the most that it was Carnhain coming to him to say he had slept with a woman..Light he was a mess with women when it was anything besides a friendly relationship.

 

"So I'm a little confused...coming to me to ask if what you did was alright?" Kedyn smiled to take any of the sting that could be in his words. "It seems what you did was good for the both of you, another step in being a man little brother. Sometimes in a time of pain or suffering it can bring people together in strange ways, you can ask Mari about it too if you want." Kedyn snorted at the mention of his little tryst with another of his long time friends and settled back. "So what are you worried about my friend? I can see that you are worried about something."

 

 

Kedyn

Filled with frustrated energy, the cavalryman stood and restlessly paced the small room. Occasionally shaking his blonde locks and letting out growls, it took him some time before he could answer. “Bah! I don’t know! I… I needed someone to talk to about it. And besides, you have experience. I feel guilty but not, both at the same time. More, I’m confused on where I stand with her. Neither of us brings it up, though Light knows we spend enough time together that we should. It’s not even that I don’t want to do it again, rather it’s… oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s partly that I don’t know how she feels about it and I’m nervous too…” All these thoughts came out rather disjointed. Punctuated with growls, groans, shakings of head and occasionally periods of sitting with head in hands before once again resuming pacing, his little rant must have been rather difficult to follow.

 

His tirade finished and frustration let off, Carnhain again returned to the chair. Exuding a rather, pleading, desperate air, he beseeched his friend “What would you do?”

"What I would do? Well that is a bit different then what I think you will do but I will tell you anyways brother." Kedyn shook his head lightly, how odd that he would be having this conversation with Carnhain. He knew he would give Carnhain some advice with women, he had a lot more expirience than Carnhain did after all, but it was a strange time to be having it of course.

 

"I would go down and find her, pull her down on my knee and wrap my arms around her. If she resists even a little I'll let her go, but other than that it would be sage to assume that she's not about to argue about anything." Kedyn chuckled lightly. "But from what I've seen I doubt you have anything to worry about being rejected. You're just worrying to much my friend."

 

 

Kedyn

Doubts still crawled in his belly despite his brother reassurances. For all Kedyn’s experience, he had still picked Miria over any other woman he could have had in the Band- a woman Carnhain still felt was undeserving of his best friend. If only Lavena were still alive…

 

“Maybe...” He smiled weakly but hid doubts were plain. “But it’s all so backwards. I mean how long did you and Lavena know each other before you started…” Carnhain trailed off, avoiding the mention of sex like a twelve year-old who had only just learned where babies come from. “I didn’t even really know her! I had an hour or so of conversation and BAM!”

 

BAM! The door swung open violently, ironically simultaneous with Carnhain’s exclamation as if he had somehow called this event. But he would never have called this person, not over his own grave and certainly not for this conversation. His vision turned red in a sickly bubbling cauldron of fury and embarrassment. In sync with his racing heartbeat, the Blood Lust pulsed at his temples; the beat loud to his ears. Miria should have been able to hear it- hear it and fear the warning. The berserker was more than half tempted to unleash that inhuman part of himself that turned him to no better than a starving carnivore.

Miria didn't spend long in the kitchens, she was more concerned with returning to Kedyn. It pained her to see him so forlorn, and it pained her all the more that she had been unable to cajole him back to his normal good humour. Hopefully a good meal would help, after that she had a few tricks up her sleeve to at least keep him distracted, starting with a full body massage and ending with another idea she'd been toying with for the last few days...

 

Juggling the plates so she could open the door, Miria halted as she heard voices. Who was that? Carnhain? If he was bothering Kedyn, today of all days, she would skin him alive. Ready to slam open the door, she paused again as she heard a snippet of the conversation. Carnhain and that Illian girl Jatasha? Oh, but it was laughable. The blonde bumbling baffoon finally caught a woman. It really wasn't nice of her to be listening in, but she certainly didn't care for his feelings. Besides, this was just too good to miss.

 

Well it was good, until she heard Lavena mentioned. Must that woman haunt her every step? Scowling, Miria threw open the door, coming face to face with a blushing Carnhain and a rather grim faced Kedyn. Now that she was there though, she didn't quite know what to say, though the thought of them discussing Lavena  like she was still here and Miria didn't even count had her temper simmering.

 

"I brought your food Kedyn." Miria set the plates down onto the small dresser and eyed Carnhain. "Go and bother someone else with your girl problems Carnhain, Kedyn has enough important things to worry about."

 

 

Miria

Lighting the Powder Keg...

Carnhain’s face turned blood red, his throat emitting a warning growl.  Anger was only part of it, embarrassment burned as heatedly through him as rage.  How much had she heard?  Light, what if it all got back to Jatasha!  He didn’t want to lose her before he even figured out what was going on.

 

In his righteous fury, the bloodlust pounded against its mental walls, urging him to make a quick, brutal and very final end to the irritating little problem that was Miria.  But what would that solve?  It would only cut him off from part of the only family he had and he was certainly not about to lose Kedyn.  Even if it meant putting up with that... that...  Carnhain could have screamed for hatred of her.

 

Light how his hands itched for her throat.  To strangle the degradation in her eyes and watch it turn to fear while he laughed, revelling in the sight of her blood...

 

Crushing the violent fantasy, he sat back down.  Light help him, he was not about to leave the room no matter how much he longed to slam that door in her face.  It would be far more satisfying to watch her grow more and more furious as he refused to leave.  Unfortunately, he could not outright return her insults for fear of Kedyn’s anger but he would stomach them anyways, just to see her face turn the colour of dried blood...

 

Tightening his control over his insatiable bloodlust, he sneered back at her.  “Kedyn’s my best friend and about the only family I’ve got.  If he asks me to leave, I’ll leave, but if not...” relaxed in the chair, not overtly comfortable, mind you, but the act was what counted.

This was a rather precarious situation to say the least...Kedyn's eyes drifted from Carnhain shooting hateful glances at Miria and Miria doing the same thing at Carnhain. But he was tired of all of this, tired of his lover and his best friend hating each other for reasons that he couldn't see or understand. He didn't feel like defending either of them. They were both...bah close minded fools to say the least on this issue! He rolled his eyes at the exchange they had and waited intil Miria had set down the plate she was carrying with their food on it.

 

Kedyn got up and walked towards the door with the confused looks of the two people he cared for the most in the entire world. He stopped himself from leaving the room as his hand alighted on the door. He was sick of this and just wanted to scream, but thankfully he stopped himself. He turned around in front of the door so neither of them could storm out without going through him.

 

"Why do you two hate each other? I can't understand how the two people I care about the most can hate each other this much. And don't try and lie to me and say that you don't. So please can someone try and explain this too me? I'm sick and tired of trying to step around between the two of you." Kedyn crossed his arms over his chest and waited, trying not to scowl at the two of them.

 

 

Kedyn

Miria couldn't believe the nerve of the blonde buffoon. What right did he have to intrude in the bedchamber SHE shared with Kedyn, and refuse to leave? What right did he have to call Kedyn family?! A scathing retort rose to her lips, but she was silenced by Kedyn walking to the door, blocking Carnhain's path. Why wasn't he standing up for her? Was this murderous fool more important than the woman who loved and cared for him?

 

Bitter tears stung her eyes but she refused to give them rein. This was ridiculous, and it grated on her to hear Kedyn put Carnhain in the same category as her. What had he ever done to earn such devotion from Kedyn? Besides try to kill him, and act like a pompous goat, that is. Miria shot Carnhain a deathly glare from under her lashes, before folding her arms sullenly. She had already contemplated leaving the room herself, but Kedyn's stern glare was implacable.

 

Miria moved to sit on the bed stiffly, arms still folded beneath her breasts. She had very good reason to loathe Carnhain, and if he had any shred of love for Kedyn he'd hate himself too, but what she had done besides protect the love of her life was beyond her. She'd love to punch him again right now, trolloc-loving idiot that he was, but she was smart enough to know that Kedyn would not take kindly to that. At all.

 

Instead, she fixed her blue eyes on Carnhain. "Well, Carnhain? Enlighten us both. What did I ever do to you that you did not deserve?" She referred to the day she punched him, a light punishment considering he had almost succeeded in strangling Kedyn the day before the confrontation. Let him deny that had been deserved, she practically dared him.

 

 

Miria