Comfort me, woman (Attn: Steffi)

Finding somebody to love and cherish would be nice -- if they do not keep dying on you.

Leaves in her cup gave indication to the feebleness her hands exhibited: traitors. Opposite her sat a woman quiet in her self-assurance; for months she avoided this woman, more strongly than she ever deflected from any others. When it was announced that the woman had been raised to the Ajah Saline aspired to, she decided to avoid the Red Quarters. Then the catalyst in form of a schedule bulletin on her desk found the Accepted oddly elated and repulsed, irrationality escalated: she retched in reaction.

In retrospect she deemed her experience extraordinary. Au fait: Examining the half digested contents of her stomach had probably not been the most flattering of scenes, but it had been over a stone basin, and made moping up the sick that much simpler. It might have been one revelation to find the single subject she had wanted to learn about since the incident, yet quite another to be told the subject teaching her. Nobody chased her as she swept through the halls, though her eyes turned furtive and criminal.

The sector she reached offered the panorama of male Aes Sedai interactions. She kept her head down, stealing sidelong looks at foreboding statues and paintings. Tapestries graced its walls, splashes of warm colours hinted at the splendid morality displayed by their objects. Perine Sedai’s rooms were untouched; stark and simple lines etched in her past. She knew that the cushions they reclined on while the Red Sister bent over the embroideries would not likely be used again in her lifetime.

Scattered fragments of time; the woman had explained how Leona Sedai used to take her to David. Another door, and her mind supplied the image of Saya Sedai, a composed Red asked to gave her infamous lectures on White Tower and the World in Saline’s Novice training. She had not known that Sister outside of the classroom, but respected her erudite commentary. As for the course of study next term, she had been putting them off. Like her purpose, they seemed undetermined as she trod deliberately, holding her skirts high over the grooves.

Being of a simple mind she resented the resentment that possessed her of late. The lesson in false dragons would be taught by that woman. She had not even congratulated the woman, but selected to wallow in her bitterness that such things would be forced upon her, inflicting her with disturbing ideas.

A fool rich and torn by guilt: the strength of her character had never been admirable, and the fostered personalities and weaklings did her little credit but to add to the vast repertoire of her professed foibles. Conflicted and stilted memories suffused her: Saline had not been this deep into the Quarter since her Mentor and the Tower departed.

Knocking on the door, she waited in a deep curtsey. "Aes Sedai, you once said if I wanted to talk about a private matter, you'd be here." She could only hope to be remembered.

“David: are there any more like him?” The tangential slash of his question jilted her deeper than she expected after shielding herself from hurt. Dancing had been an activity the Tinker needed, even when he coughed, wasting to the bones.

_________________

Faile was just about to pour herself some tea in her new rooms in the Red Quarters when the knocks on her door disturbed her pondering about the privileges and duties had been laid onto her shoulders symbolized by the shawl of the Red she wore whenever she wandered the Tower now. She still had to grow accustomed to her new rank of honor and to everything that came with it. It was somewhat harder than she thought and sometimes she was asking herself if she'd ever get used to the amount of reference and obedience the Novices and Accepted were suddenly paying to her. They seemed to avoid her, always shuffling away like a swarm of busy bees, avoiding her attention and any kind of critic or admonition from her person. Faile sighed and went to open the door, just to find that there was at least one Accepted who didn't seem to shy back from seeing her anymore. Not as much as the others did at least.

She recognized the young woman at once, after all thoughts about her had occupied her mind long after the incident the poor girl had had to witness. Long after David's passing. The memory still filled her with sorrow. Poor boy... She would have given anything to help him and yet maybe death was as good as it could have got with him considering all things. Faile barely stiffled a sigh as she banished the dark thoughts about this youg man's wasting away out of her mind.

"What brings you to me, Saline?", she wanted to ask, yet the Accepted had already rushed forward with her question, bubbling out of these troubled features and something told Faile she could barely hold back tears. Obviously the experience in the dungeon still effected her as much as back then when she had run away. Faile still remembered her face marked with a hidden sorrow and pain she hadn't been able to inquire on any further at that time. As David's name fell all of those impressions came back at her and she knew that Saline was far from forgetting about this. There was something more to it though. Something. Faile couldn't put a name to it, but there was something, some grief sitting deep inside the Accepted gnawing at her and now it had obviously found a ventile, a way out.

"Sit down, please", Faile said, pouring her a cup of tea and looking at the girl intently before she finally spoke, her own voice soft and somewhat regretful, not bothering to conceal her own sadness about how facts are. "There are", she said. "Some of them here in the care of the White Tower. Yet there are more of them out scattered in the World. Those beyond help, those who have never been in the care of the White Tower, those who don't have any chance but eventually go mad and suffer the same, if not a worse fate than Him."

Faile paused, looking into Saline's eyes. She had never been a friend of sugar-coating neccessities and now she felt it was neccessary for the Accepted to learn the truth. "Do you have anything you want to tell me, Saline?", she asked, bluntly, yet she felt that there was something in the Accepted that she had to talk about and now seemed just the occasion to do so.

Faile Sedai