Aeveryn woke with a start. Blinking she had trouble to make out where she was. Over the years she had grown so accustomed to her tiny accepted’s quarter that it was hard to imagine to ever own bigger rooms. Sitting up in complete confusion her eyes darted through the room. She felt like a child, as if she was too small compared to its dimentions, with a vaulted ceiling and many bare walls. Two doorways lead from it to even further rooms. Only when she made out her blue stole resting atop a pale blue dress she realised where she was and what had happened. Long, slender arms extended as she picked up the shawl. Gently she ran her thumb over the fabric. She only realised she was crying when her vision blurred and tears rolled down emaciated cheeks.

 

Resisting the urge to already put on the shawl she went next door to wash. Even her bathroom had a window and Aeveryn enjoyed glancing out first thing in the morning. The sun was just rising on the far horizon. The tears of pride she had just shed were not quite dry as she washed and then donned the dress one of the other sisters had prepared for her. Rossa Sedai had said they would go and purchase something to wear for her, but so far they had not found the time yet to do so.

 

Secretly Aeveryn was glad about that. Back when she had been young in the outskirts of Baerlon she had been raised like a boy and had hardly worn dresses. Her mother had died too early for her to ever have a woman to look up to and since her father had never married again, she had reached maturity in a household purely consisting of males. In fact the first time she had worn a dress for more then one day at a time had been when she had been forced into novice whites. That was the problem. She felt now it was upon her to choose garments of her taste. But she knew as much about silk and lace as a man could know about Saidar. And the talk of ruffles, bodices, buttons, ribbons and bows intimidated her. Would the other sisters be irritated if she had the tailor make her breaches? Her mouth quirked into a grin. That would hardly be appropriate for a sister.

 

Quickly she dressed in the one dress she did own as if she ran the risk of someone taking it from her. It was made of silk and it was a delight to wear something as pretty. It really was not like her to be consumed by beauty, but she could not help to consider her reflection in the mirror. Tying her hair into a knot she considered her face sternly: “Aeveryn Sedai” she mumbled. “Yes, Aeveryn Sedai!” Did that not sound good? “At once, Aeveryn Sedai.”

 

The silly grin evaporated from her face. She had no time for this foolishness. Sisters did not stand before the mirror and talked to themselves. Well, maybe browns did, but not blue Sisters.

 

She was already half way to the door when she half ran back. She nearly had forgotten her stole. She needed it remind herself she was indeed a full sister now. Back straight and head high she finally left her quarters and soon after the area belonging to the blue Ajah. First she would have breakfast. For some reason with her reaching the shawl her appetite had returned and while she was still as thin as reed, she no longer looked as if she would drop dead any moment.

 

Really her day had been full already with what she had planned, but as she passed a window bathed in the bright light of the morning sun, she changed her mind. She had not ridden in thirty years. She had not been out of Tar Valon in three decades. Would they have a horse in the tower stables they could lend her? Where could she go? For a moment she contemplated whom she had to ask for permission until she realised she no longer needed any permissions. She nearly jumped at the unexpected sensation of joy. She felt like a bird free to fly. She felt like…

 

She had walked on but her blue eyes had lingered at the sunlight flooding in. Just from the corner of her vision she noticed a shape and halting the last moment she managed to stop before she ran another woman over. She only saw grey silks and brown hair. Before she could stop herself she had begun to curtsy and mumble and apologetic “I am sorry, Aes Sedai.” At least she did not blush as she straightened again. “Oh… I guess I still have to get used to this…” It took Aeveryn a moment to realise who the woman was that stood before her. Eyes the colour of a cloudy winter morning, but with the warmth of a bright summer day considered her. Aes Sedai serenity was only slightly betrayed by a faintly amused crook of the mouth. The face was unexpectedly familiar, as was the brown hair.

 

“Vera…” Aeveryn breathed.

 

Another weave. Strands of air coiled around the protruding weed, she pulled with her mind. Lumps of mud came flying out as the wild flower was defeated, and she proceeded  to the last one. Her hands twitched as she resisted the temptation to use them, like she had when she had first tried the weave, a summer many years before. Then, there had been three others. Each was different, but clothed in the same pristine white. Each had sweated and toiled. Desperately clung to Saidar under her watch as they pushed in one seed after the other, pulled out one obtrusion at the next turning. What lay tucked away now, their secret respite was the fruit of their success. Branches swayed above her as a swift breeze came upon the day and a soft thud alerted her that yet another apple had fallen. It was flourishing, the once creaking tree now nurtured back to life. Just like the rest of this place, she reflected. She shifted her vision from leaf to flower, ground to sky, breathing in the smell of damp soil and blooming buds. All was calm and so was she.

 

This had been a gift for her first mentee Elinielle, but over time, this had become a special place for her too. Vera was aware of the fact that the others came here to, tending it on occasion and also for space themselves. Still, there was always somehow one weed left, or one bud ready to burst just as she would breeze by and she would be tempted into entering. It had been the same today, when she’d decided to take a little time off from her duties. One with Saidar, Vera breathed once more and tugged. The work was hardly exerting anymore, but she was reluctant to let go of the Power so soon after she had embraced it. A nectar so sweet…those had been Elyssa Lliet’s words as she had first introduced Vera to the One Power. Her words had been reproving, as if she could sense Vera’s eagerness to touch the Source again and Vera had blushed at the glance she was received.

 

“Finished.” Vera murmured as she stood up, dusting her skirts. The dress was a new one so she carefully inspected every side and frill before leaving. As she strode away, she turned on impulse to look back. Their respite. It was a wonder none had met another as yet, she realised. Or perhaps they had, and she just hadn’t been one of the others. It was probably more comfortable for them to meet each other rather than her, the elder Aes Sedai who was now mentor to one, advisor to the other and past teacher to the last. A leaf crushed underneath her steps crunched loudly, causing Vera to pause midstep. She was still holding Saidar! Discomfited by her foolishness, she let go abruptly and while doing so, another memory presented itself to her.

 

Carise Sedai, clothed in a well fitted Ebou Dari red dress. She was looking sternly down on Vera, who had her bent as she blinked away hot, unavoidable tears. Carise had been the one to have caught Vera, newly out of the Arches. Her wounds had still been too fresh then, too painful to simply…forget. So she had used Saidar at every opportunity, bought comfort in the ease it brought her. Addiction, Carise had called it. It was horrible to remember tender memories and every time Vera thought back to the steely gaze, she felt shame for her mistakes. She walked on, eyes looking but not watching as she trailed past small mounds and people alike, eyes caught on the green of the grass.

 

So, Vera thought it only inevitable when she found her shoulder meeting another’s, causing a soft bump as her shorter, smaller body was pushed back a few steps. Moving, she turned immediately to the woman-the shoulders weren’t broad, like those of a man-and made to apologise, when she saw who it was. Flaxen hair bathed in light glowed, remorseful blue stones hurriedly searching her face as if to find a bruise…

 

She was dressed in blue, riveting blue. Her face was currently leaping through phases of surprise, but she knew there was recognition in those eyes. A voice floated into her mind. Vera remembered another talking; telling her that another Accepted had been Raised to the Blue. Aeveryn. Aeveryn Yewlis. Her second friend in the Tower after Gaiya, and like all those she had made in the beginning, friends lost due to distances of the mind. She smiled brightly as Aeveryn breathed her name, as memory brought back the old name she used to call the other by. It wouldn’t be suitable to call her Aevy though, she thought disappointedly. She was a Sister now. Vera hardly thought the other would like to be called by the name she had used as an initiate.

 

Instead, Vera would take the best of what she could. And that, at this point, was the silver hope for renewed friendship. Mirth, reminiscing, questions she had yearned to share with someone of her own status. How had Aevy felt about the test, for instance? What was her cause, now that she was Raised to the Blue Ajah? Would she visit her home, like she had once told Vera she would? What of her studies on Shadowspawn!? Excitement bubbled and thrived, a sensation she had not indulged in for so many months now. Years, even. Her eyes sparkled, her smile blossomed as she greeted Aeveryn in return. “It is good to know that you still remember my name,” she began softly and paused. Looking at the ground, and then at Aeveryn again she gave up on her wish to seem poised. Linking arms with her, she began to walk with her. “Congratulations! Aeveryn. I’m so happy for you.” And truly, she was. “You look the very image of Aes Sedai splendour, Aevy…ah, Aeveryn.”

 

~Vera

Still loving your post, Ingo. :D

She had lived most her life in the white tower now, but how sisters interacted with each other was still a little bit of a mystery to Aeveryn. Hearing the Cairhien woman say she was glad that still knew her name, her heart kind of leaped. She wanted to lurch forward and hug the woman. But what she considered proper Aes Sedai conduct, prevented her from displaying such open affection. She had never seen another sister act like that. Not in public. Not with another sister of a different Ajah. There was no animosity between blues and greys she knew of. And yet, even though she wore the blue just for a few hours, it was as if there was an invisible wall between her and her friend from novice days. They had been so close before fate had divided them. Their friendship had revived later, when they had begun with poetry, but with Vera being raised years before her, a new void had opened to separate them.

 

Aeveryn felt frozen. What could she say? What could she do? She was still so insecure in her new position and feared the little woman could reject her if she showed how she really felt. It was Vera that crossed the canyon between them first. Pleasantly surprised Aeveryn’s eyes widened as the woman crossed arms with her, and left her with no other choice then to walk along to not break that frail bond. She had been too absorbed with her studies to miss people, and when the feeling of loneliness had crept into her heart she had been convinced that it was only her that felt like this. Someone with more self-esteem than Aeveryn would have gone out and would have discovered that there were open arm waiting for her. But she had instead retreated further and deeper into her hideaway assuming no one really cared for her and that she would just pester people with her worries and trouble.  Could it really be that Vera had missed her? Could the truth be, that Vera too was occasionally lonely and in the need of someone to talk to?

 

For a moment she remembered crying in the others arms. The vision was followed by the sensation of soothing the smaller girl as she had sobbed. They had been so young then, so new to the tower, children ripped from their home and thrown into a world they did not understand. The feeling of closeness had recently become quite alien to Aeveryn and she was still astonished by the sensation of walking with Vera when she heard the other’s compliment. For a moment she wondered if the Aes Sedai by her side was maybe having some plan or was having some untold expectations, but that consideration fled from her mind as quickly as it had come. The tower had taught her there was the game of houses, but she did not really understand it in detail.

 

Aeveryn could not help but laugh delighted and surprised. “When you say that, it is almost like the Amyrlin seat claiming it. Oh Vera.” She wanted to say more but then hesitated. Vera might have pulled the physical wall down the tower had build between them, but there was still a wall in Aeveryn’s head. After a second she decided to open the hidden, nearly forsaken gate a little. She would be careful though. “It is still odd… I mean, it seems just yesterday I was only an accepted. And now… Some say now I am equal to a queen. Or a king. Or at least a lord. I have changed a lot since I came here first, but deep inside I am still just Aeveryn, the girl that threw mud at her brothers and rode on their horses wearing their breeches, most the time without a saddle.”

 

Further ahead someone crossed their path just that moment. It was just a servant, but Aevy wondered what another sister might say if they were seen like that. A blue and a grey walking arm in arm. The thought made her pull away from Vera, even if it produced hollowness in her heart. Aevy felt even worse when she realised how Vera had to feel. She knew, had she been so brave to make such a big step in an effort to renew an old friendship, and the other would withdraw like she just had, she would feel as if she had been slapped. But what could she do? She could not quite make herself take the other arm up again. It had felt good, but she was too worried what someone might think or say should they be seen. So what could she do? She could talk. Maybe Vera would understand from what she implied?

 

Plucking a leaf and twirling it between her slender fingers she explained in a low, hushed voice: “When I was an accepted, I thought as Aes Sedai I could no longer make mistakes. I thought life would become simple. But it is not. It seems everything is becoming more complicated.” Just why did she feel like a young girl that had received her first proposal by a suitor and now needed to find an answer that would not hurt the young man’s feelings? Of course, the comparison lacked for Vera was neither, a suitor, nor a boy. Still, there were odd similarities. Then she realised what it was, that made her feel there was a link between the scenarios. Not that she had ever been in the situation to need to turn a boy away. Before coming to the tower it seemed the other sex had not even realised she was a girl, and she was kind of glad about that, or had been. But the reason was that in both cases one commonly did not tell the entire truth. In the case with the boy, it was the hope to not hurt the other’s feelings. In her case, it was her fear to humiliate herself. If she was to tell the truth, she would run the risk to prove the opposite of what her friend of days gone had just claimed: That she made the impression of a full and worthy Aes Sedai. But just as Vera had been brave, Aeveryn decided to be brave. With a mental kick she opened that half-forgotten gate fully. “Actually I am quite… afraid, even now, Vera. I am wondering what would a blue sitter say if they saw us together? What will happen if the head of the blues hears about this? You know I have taken so long to reach the shawl and my biggest fear was they would not accept me. I feel so terribly insecure. It is kind of how I felt when I first arrived at the tower and have worn the novice whites just a few days.” Stopping, she turned to face Vera. Biting her lips she half smiled, half frowned. “And now I am wondering if I shouldn’t have said all of this to a grey sister. I half feel like a novice presenting her heart on a silver plate.” In her head she added: And I hope you will not use what I said against me. I hope your friendliness is not some scheme.

 

Quickly Aeveryn looked left, then right to ensure they were alone. Then, surrendering to the sudden desire to feel the other’s skin she took Vera’s smaller hand and pressed it tightly between her palms. “Vera, I am so glad we met. But maybe we should wait a few weeks or months before talking on?” She had been told she was expected to focus on the blue Ajah for now. There was a lot she needed to learn about her Ajah, and there were a number of blue Aes Sedai she wanted to please that had been critical about her acceptance. She did not want to disappoint her peers. She had struggled too hard, suffered through too much to risk that. She was not sure how Vera would take her suggestion, or if the other would feel she was slapping her again. In any case, her own words left her immeasurably sad. Maybe her sapphire-eyes reflected her soul’s feelings but she was indeed too much of an Aes Sedai to let her face give a hint. Right now, she did not want anything more then to spend some time with her old friend. But her sense of duty forbade it.

 

^{So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,}

^{blue skies from pain.}

^{Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?}

^{A smile from a veil?}

^{Do you think you can tell?}

^{And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?}

^{Hot ashes for trees?}

^{Hot air for a cool breeze?}

^{Cold comfort for change?}

^{And did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?}

 

Somebody was channelling nearby, but Saline did not feel bothered in the secret Garden she helped cultivate. The reddish soil underneath her was moist; its wetness seeped through the cloak, letting her know. Were Syara here she’d admonish me about grass stains, no doubt. But the fiery Saldaean was inside the Tower somewhere, while she took advantage of sunlight, a natural environment for her project.

 

Draw what you know; sage advice, which she ignored heartily. Oh she was not expecting to make a sketchbook akin to Rossa Sedai’s magnificent portfolios, but how, how ambitious she had been, to want to paint the world for Dorian. It was probably good that he could not see her name-day surprise for him, or the colours alone would have struck him doubly blind. Now she sat in the private of her mind, deliberating.

 

One more stroke would do. She had thought that the last tries too, and each time the goldenleaf defied her most ardently. At first she attempted to draw people, but her own ability to reproduce a replica of her friends took her as far as stick figures could before reaching its apex. There would be no more ventures into sketching faces, as any more failures would prove how worthless her endeavours were. As for accuracy in her creations, it eluded her in the manner that sight ignored Dorian.

 

Carefully, she bent all concentration on the near culmination of her art, smiling slowly at her leaf’s spreading ‘veins’. The charcoal in her hand steady, it made as if to strike with precision between the lines angling out. This would be the last of the pieces, the best, too.

 

“Woolgathering, ‘Aline?”

 

“Arrgh, Timmons!”

 

“I would groan too, if I knew that Vera Sedai is coming my way with another Aes Sedai, arms linked and ready to smite the first Accepted they see slacking off in a private Garden,” said the crinkled eyed Servant, grinning. “Out you go, be quick.”

 

Saline gathered her supplies into the cloak, leaving only the smeared drawing and the goldenleaf. In the side-by-side comparison, her drawing actually looked better, since the accidental blow brought a curve into the current structure, furling the gold more naturally than the sharp straight and up in her plans. Yes, she could follow this shape now. Murmuring her thanks, she scampered out of retreat, her face a dynamics of struggle.

 

She did not like the interruption, but it could be time for a breather. It was not until she had strolled into their view did she realise she had forgotten to ask Timmons which direction the others were. Instead of avoiding the Gray Sister who advised her like she intended, she had ran straight into the pair. Having recognised the straight back of the Sister immersed in conversation with Vera Sedai, she wondered whether it was too late to run away when her Advisor caught her eye, holding it. Oh bugger. The Accepted clutched her pack tightly, then stepped forward.

 

Saline's curtsey was deep with respect. "Morning, Aes Sedai."

 

She kept her face neutral as the other woman turned.

 

OOC: Lyrics at the beginning are from Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here. :) I could not resist the temptation of your excellent beginning post, Aeveryn Sedai. I guess the question is: would Aeveryn be ashamed to renew their friendship now that one of them was Aes Sedai, and the other a mere Accepted?

 

Vera was stunned.

 

She had expected many things from the new Sister, considered  many "first lines" to what would be their renewed friendship. Words of unbridled fear on the test, a shudder that told Vera well enough that the Testing was not a subject she should come treading on, even the startling, but welcome sign of warmth at meeting an old friend. Instead, she had received words of caution, that had silenced her completely, leaving only traces of the resisted temptation to cut across and speak, but she could not and would not do that to her friend. So, the frustration burned and stirred inside her. Aeveryn Yewlis had marked and taken up a special place in Vera's heart. A place tucked between secrets and revelations, for indeed, it had been she who Vera had first trusted, she who had first known of the splintered mass that was Vera's vocabulary.

 

Today though. Today an unnamed, unsought line had been crossed and Vera Cadsanome recoiled under the first stings of loss and hurt. She was Gray Ajah, a Sister of peace, but never before had someone rejected her under the lines of her Ajah being seen in objectionable light. It was, to Vera, akin to judging a mind by one's skin, and thus, unacceptable. For the first time ever since Aeveryn had extended a hand of friendship, Vera bristled.

 

How to explain? How to make Aeveryn see there were no opinions being cast, none from Aeveryn's or her own Ajah would think it wise to stop a friendship? They were all the same blood beneath the rustles of Blue or Gray, all united in the same cause- to serve All. Even if they were doing so by different means, no rule shunned the comfort of friends. Every single person had some interests and beliefs unique to the one next to them, but was this reason to whisper instead of laugh? To look behind in fear before smiling? Vera's insides hardened. If they were indeed little collections of Ajahs and Sisters, then alliances still needed to be fostered. It was people like Aevy and her who would have to be the root of this too.

 

Today would not be the day however, to explain this to Aeveryn. Vera would hold her silence, and hold it well. The Blue would have to learn this herself, come to terms with this through self created understanding. Frustration, shock and stinging nerves would hardly provide the right environment for her to learn this. It might even push her along in the other direction, which was not affordable. Once Aeveryn would know this, perhaps then Vera would voice her thoughts. Perhaps.

 

For now, the silence lingered. Her eyes roamed over the rise and falls of carefully managed gardens of the Tower, drawing on the tranquility in what she saw to calm herself so that a decent reply would come. There was a peace in this view that always soothed her, and in her earlier days, had been the deserving cause of many bursts of artistic expression. Now I use it to hamper frayed nerves, and to think of polite returns, Vera thought wryly.

 

Her eyes would pause occasionally, noting distant silhouettes of white as she guessed idly over their purpose in the gardens. A lot of Aes Sedai enjoyed teaching in the green serenity of the grounds, but there were far more Accepted who'd found a haven in the twists and turns of this place. As Vera blinked at the blur of movement right before her, she found herself looking upon the familiar sight of Accepted Saline.

 

Oh bugger indeed. The expression fleeting as it was, had caught Vera's eyes in the flash of seconds that she'd noticed Saline. After the first second of pleasure, the Gray noted-and not without amusement-that Saline looked as if she wished fervently that some weave would shimmer her presence out, and transport her elsewhere. Somewhere more secluded, and somewhere, that didn't have two reasonably discomfited Aes Sedai walking arm in arm, but saying little.

 

"Good Morning, Saline. How are you faring on this fine day? Aeveryn Sedai, this is-" she paused as she noted the glint of recognition in the other's eyes. And then Saline's, too. "Oh, then you know each other?" she finished somewhat lamely, and looked towards Saline expectantly. The Accepted had buzzed by like a thin ray of escape, and it would take a good deal for Vera to let her go without ensuring her own exit first. Anyway, here came the explanations.

 

~Vera Cadsanome

Gray Sister

Flustering flutterer :D

 

Aeveryn did not feel as if she was understood. But then, could she expect the grey sister to understand her? Could any sister understand how glad she felt to have been accepted to her choice Ajah? Could they envision how troubling her worries had been in the last days of her acceptedhood? Aeveryn was vaguely aware, that her life was hindered by her strict perception or rules, customs and laws. But on the other hand, she felt these laws were required and necessary. There were young sisters that seemed to think everything in the white tower had to change to make it better. She was not like that. She respected the old lore. She admired the aged sisters that carried grey in their hair, the only sigh time was touching them. She thought these young woman were blinded by their new found power and did clearly not see, that in a world of constant change, the white tower had persisted for three thousand years.

 

Still, she could sense something was not pleasing Vera. The way the woman was focussing on the gardens was telling. The way they were engulfed in silence was telling. Part of her felt imprisoned in shackles she had fastened herself. Part of her wanted to scream and break them to get free. But other parts of her just tightened these shackles harder, to the point where they were hurting.

 

As if this day was a day of reunions, another close friend of her suddenly appeared. Well, Saline had been a friend of hers some time back. They had been the closest as novices. The heat of their initial meeting had turned into the warmth of intense friendship once they had made it beyond the first visit to the mistress of novices for fighting. It all was still so vibrant, so clear in her mind as if it had been the day before yesterday.

 

It was the curtsy delivered that made her aware that nothing was like it once had been. Nothing. Aeveryn was very self conscious that the motion was for her as much as for Vera. Not that she relished it. There was a reason for courtliness. There was a need for deference. Her friend of once was of lower rank than her. And tower customs required the other to act a certain way Aes Sedai, as it required her to act a certain way towards Accepted. Could customs stronger than law make an exception for friends?

 

Aeveryn did not answer Vera’s question. Instead her cool, blue eyes studied Saline. She had felt bad for taking so long to reach the shawl. It was hard to imagine there was another girl in the tower that took even longer, but Saline here, was the clear evidence. Aeveryn had always thought Saline to be better than her in most regards. How could the weave possibly keep her from the test that long? Her scrutiny continued unhindered while her mind tried to solve this puzzle. When her gaze reached Saline’s fingers, her brow rose slightly. Aeveryn did not miss that her finger’s tips were black from charcoal, and out here in the gardens there was just one possible explanation. She doubted strongly, that Saline would have carried out a chore with charcoal anywhere apart from the kitchens. Clearly, the girl had been sketching. Did she not have something more important to do?

 

“Accepted. Why don’t you show us what you have been drawing?” Her voice had been as level as one could expect from an Aes Sedai. Still, Aeveryn was surprised to see the other woman look a little as if she had been caught. Well, she had been caught. And they no longer stood on one level. Reluctantly Saline produced a sheet of paper she had hidden away in her cloak somewhere. As Aeveryn took it, she explained to Vera: “We used to share a room when we were novices, Vera. I always expected Saline to be raised much faster then me. But clearly she is trying to make me feel better about my own progress, by taking longer.”

 

She was pleased that she had been right. It was a drawing, or rather a sketch. For a moment she considered it before handing it so Vera. “I did not realise you could sketch. It looks quite good.” Not that she knew much about drawing. She could not draw at all and usually had struggled most when her research had required her to make a diagram of something. It never looked like she wanted to.

 

“But should you not study? Should you not get prepared to reach the shawl?” Giving the Gray at her side a questioning look she asked: “Maybe we should visit the mistress of novices? I would be interested to see if the mistress of novices thought this drawing was as good as it looks to me.”

 

Until now her face had been a mask of serenity. She was quite pleased that she was able to mimic so well, what the shawl around her shoulders required her to represent. But now her face slipped. A grin appeared on her lips. She hoped she had not scarred the other too much.

 

“Saline…”

 

Stepping forward she hugged the accepted tightly, nearly feeling like a novice again: free, young and untroubled. A moment later she stepped back, but did not let go of the other’s hands, holding her fingers firmly clenched with her own fingers. “Have you been avoiding me? And girl, are you not yet sick of this ugly banded dress?”

 

Vera might have been her best friend as novice. But Saline had been like a sister.