Carina stood in front of the mirror, battling a few strains of hair that stubbornly refused to stay put in their assigned spot. She won the battle and clicked her pin in place, to hold her wild manes under controle. Checking for the fifth time that her face was clean and her dress was in place, she stepped back and took a deep breath. It was time to go meet her mentor. The things she'd heard from mentors so far didn't sound promising and Carina was quite worried indeed. But then a determination formed in her stomach, clawing it's way up her spine to her mind and settling her courage firm into her bones. "The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wants" she whispered the litany, and as usually it helped her to accept what can not be changed.

 

She cast a last look around the room, to make sure nothing was out of place, and stepped outside into the hallway. Her hand grasping a now empty pocket, Carina felt quite uncomfortable. This was the first time she would be seperated from her note of shame, which was lying in the folds of her two spare novice dresses in the closet of her room. However, the young woman felt she had no choice, for some of the girls had told her that their mentor had demanded them to empty their pockets and reveal all that they were carrying upon them. Two novices even had to strip completely! What in the Creator's name those sisters thought they'd find, was beyond Carina, but she wasn't about to share her burden with anyone. Her honor demanded this burden upon her, and her only.

 

Novices went scurrying by her as she walked steadily through the hallways, making her curtsies whenever a sister glided past. Her face properly cast down, none of them even thought of stopping her and she reached the waiting room to the office of the MoN without incidents. Tapping three times on the door, Carina waited for the admission and then entered the room. Two sisters were sitting at the desk. One of which Carina had never seen before, but could make out to be of the Red Ajah. Her eyes were drawn to the Aes Sedai beyond her will and the gaze laid upon her held her as fast as any rope ever could. Carina stopped dead in her tracks, completely held by the Red's look, all thoughts lost to her including the one that would have reminded her to curtsey. She stood ridgid, frozen.

 

The MoN observed the first encounter of the two she had planned to match up and nodded to herself. The nod was lost on both her visitors, however, as they both were too busy looking at each other.

 

"Ah, Carina, come in Child. I want you to meet your mentor, Raslyn Sedai. She will be guiding you and instructing you on the rules of the Tower."

 

The MoN had spoken in a clear, matter of factly, manner, which broke Carina free from the gaze of the Red sister and she remembered her manners once more. Dropping into a deep curtsey, aimed somewhere to the middle between the two sisters, she licked her lips nervously. "Light! Oh sweet Light! A Red?!" A flood of advice and warnings, freely given to her by other novices, rushed through her mind concerning the Red Ajah occupants. All of them had made sure that Carina knew exactly how mean and wicked the Red sisters were. Her mind drifted off to that man who had given his life to protect her. Who had given her the drive to keep going when despair would have the heart of her. A man who had continued to protect her even after the Creator called him home. Would this mentor demand her to hate men, as that one novice said was common of Red sisters to do? She wouldn't! She would not ever forget her savior or diminish the respect he so rightfully deserved! No matter how many Reds they set upon her! A fire now burned in her eyes as she took two steps forward. A fire that spoke of determination, purpose and defiance. Yet, these were Aes Sedai, and they too deserved her respect. She'd just need to find a way to offer one without losing the other.

 

"Good day, Aes Sedai." Carina said to both and stood waiting for what was to come.

Raslyn sat, looked at the Mistress of Novices and suppressed a sigh. She really didn't want to have a novice hanging around her and bleating questions at every opportunity but, as she hadn't got one at present, she was summoned in due course to the Mistress of Novices rooms and told she was to have one.

 

How she was meant to continue her work in peace only the Creator knew. Resigning herself to how the Wheel wills, she sat and listened to what Larindhra had to say about her new charge. Despite herself Raslyn's interest perked up at hearing of Carina's parentage. In short order she was agreeing to look after the girl and instruct her in the rules and regulations of the Tower whilst musing on how to keep her out from under the Brown Ajah's noses.

 

Soon there came a polite tap on the door and a novice entered on Larindhra's summons. Raslyn turned and looked at the girl that she had now taken charge of and the girl seemingly stared at her. Raslyn could not fail to notice the quick flicker of eyes to her shawl and to the Mistress of Novices and back. Vaguely she registered Larindhra's introduction but she was too caught up in studying the novice to acknowledge it.

 

So the girl is intelligent, quick to draw conclusions and by the looks of it has heard a dozen stories about the Red Ajah, each of them more ridiculous than the last. Raslyn thought privately.

 

Her eyes roamed the girl's face marking the features and seeing the resemblance to the Blue Sister that had left so long ago. She watched the girl do a near perfect curtsy and lick her lips. Then she saw the fire in the girls eyes. And she has a spark of determination and will in her too, just like her mother. Time will tell if that can be harnessed. Raslyn permitted herself a small smile and stood up.

 

"Well child, if I am to mentor you then we'd best start now." Nodding her goodbyes to Larindrha, she guided the novice out of the room.

 

"Follow me child, I'll show you where you can usually find me...novices let loose around the Halls are annoying especially if they have to ask where they are all the time. Then we can start your first lessons. No sense in delaying it now is there?"

 

In short order they arrived in Raslyn's private study and she indicated Carina was to sit in a large easy chair in front of the desk. Raslyn liked having one in front of her desk, although she herself used a plain and sturdy chair. She had found that people who sat enveloped in the warm cosiness of the chair usually ended up at a disadvantage. First off they sank lower than she herself was sitting and had to shuffle awkwardly to appear on the same level and secondly they usually felt uneasy for enjoying comfort whilst she sat in, as they thought, discomfort. (Though nothing could be further from the truth, Raslyn was used to a hard life and had found she didn't like soft chairs amongst other fripperies)

 

"First you can tell me what you know of the Red Ajah and I'll see what I can do about disabusing you of it.....Tea?"

Carina curtsied once more to the MoN before turning to follow the Red sister out of the office. She kept one step behind the sister, as Malkieren protocol dictated, and made sure to mark the way to wherever it was the sister was leading them. Filing away recognition points as they passed them. One of the first lessons future rangers were taught was tracking, and Carina had shown a real talent in that aspect. She usually only needed one trip to know exactly how to reach a certain point from different directions.

 

Listening to the sister's talk along the way, Carina held her silence, understanding that the questions were retorical and the Aes Sedai didn't expect her to answer. She was puzzled though, for this sister did not seem like the minion from hell the other novices seemed to think the Reds were. Still, it was early day and things could still go in any direction with this mentor of hers. One thing Carina liked about the woman already was the straight forward, no-nonsense manner in which she spoke. She had the feeling that she would know exactly where she stood with this one. Carina liked that. It reduced the amount of missunderstandings between people.

 

They entered a room that held a sturdy desk that had a comfortable looking chair in front of it, padded with a red velvet seat that seemed designed to let whoever sat in it sink bodily into the chair. As Raslyn told her to take a seat in it, Carina carefully avoided sitting on the cushioned seat and instead put her whole weight on the thick and strong wooden frame at the front, preventing what surely would be an awkward position in any situation other than pure relaxation. She crossed her ankles under her, to prevent her legs from opening, and put her hands in her lap.

 

Her attention on her mentor, Carina gulped internally at the instruction of revealing what she knew of the Reds and welcomed the offer of tea as a way to organise her thoughts.

 

"Thank you, Raslyn Sedai, yes please"

 

The sister moved to get the tea and Carina could not but answer the sister's instructions honestly, though she did try to keep it as diplomatic as possible. No sense in angering her mentor already, after all.

 

"I'm afraid my knowledge of the White Tower is quite limited, Aes Sedai. Untill yesterday, my goal was to become a forest ranger and although I did receive lessons about Tar Valon and the White Tower, I must admit that I did not pay much attention to them as I did not expect them to play an important part in my life." Carina quickly added, lest her mentor too would think her lazy, "But I am determined to rectify that problem, Raslyn Sedai! I will study hard and long to learn all that the Sisters require of me and are willing to teach me. As for the Red Ajah... "

 

Carina paused a moment, to accept the tea offered to her by Raslyn who moved to take a seat behind the desk, her face never showing her thoughts or feelings, her manner such as to remain a complete mystery.

 

"Most of what I 'know' is hearsay, Raslyn sedai. I do know that the Red Ajah is in charge of preventing another Breaking by hunting down men that can channel so they can be gentled and thus prevented from harming themselves or anyone else. " Unsure how to continue, Carina pauzed yet again. The sister's instructions had been clear however, and Carina's honor demanded her to go on. "It also seems that the Red Sisters have a reputation of being hard and feared by most, including some occupants of the White Tower itself. How much truth there is to that, I can not tell, Aes Sedai. I've only just arrived yesterday and have not had time yet to form any impression based on my own experience. With your permission, I'd rather not go into the gossips but instead would like to wait and see what life here will show me of the different Ajahs."

 

Taking a sip from her tea to gather her strength, Carina then raised her eyes to the sister who had, till then, sat unmoving and unblinking at her desk.

 

"There is one thing that troubles me though, Aes Sedai. I was told that the Red Sisters generally despise men and demanded novices to do so too or at least withold them any respect and that they are to consider them a necessary evil. I find it exceedingly difficult to understand this, should it hold true, and I am afraid I will not be able to obey that command if it were put on me. I sit here before you today thanks to the ultimate sacrifice a man, an Aes Sedai servant, has made. He gave his life to protect mine and I have vowed never to forget him or diminish my respect for what he's done for me. I..... , " Carina trailed off under the unblinking gaze in that emotionless face and those eyes piercing right through her. She felt that the sister had weighed her and found her severely lacking. She had to go on though, she had a promise to keep. Lowering her head, Carina visualised the man's face and once again strength and determination filled her. Her eyes were clear and open, her manner relaxed, her posture determined.

 

"If this would indeed be demanded of me, Aes Sedai, I fear that I will not be able to make it to the end of the training here after all. Though I will still do my best to learn whatever is required of me."

 

Taking another sip of her tea, Carina sat waiting. Expecting to be berated and to be ordered to follow àny command given to her, regardless if that would compromise her integrity. Aes Sedai were, after all, used to being obeyed without question and without reserve. Especially from novices.

 

 

 

 

Raslyn hid a small smile at the way Carina sat herself on the comfy chair. Some Aes Sedai were much less perceptive. Carina's apology for her lack of knowledge about the White Tower and her determination to succeed would also stand her in good stead.

 

After passing the tea to the novice, Raslyn sat behind her desk and observed her new charge as she answered the question set before her. She was honest, that was good. Raslyn listened intently as the girl ran through what she 'knew' and made an inward note to include more lessons on the Red Ajahs purpose to the novices.

 

As the the girl mentioned the most frequent preconceived notion about the Red Ajah, Raslyn said nothing but let her continue, observing the way the girl sat, the confidence in her eyes as she spoke of the man she owed her life to. Once the girl had stopped, Raslyn watched her in silence a while longer, until she started to squirm under the gaze. That was good too. Her fire and spirit must not be diminished, yet she must still know her place.

 

Eventually Raslyn spoke.

 

"The first part of what you say is true. The Red Ajah devote themselves to hunting down and gentling those men that can Channel. The world cannot survive another Breaking and we will do our utmost to prevent that." she paused and a faint smile twitched along her lips and disappeared as rapidly as it had come. "The second part is also true, to an extent. The Red Ajah are feared by those who don't understand the work that we do. We have to be hard, to be otherwise we will fail in our Duty to prevent another Breaking and that means the world will fail with us. What we do is for the good of the world regardless of peoples understanding or likes and dislikes...and that brings me to your final statement."

 

Raslyn took a sip of tea whilst she thought how best to answer. 

 

"The Red Ajah, as a whole, do not hate men. Though it goes without saying that there are members here that do, either through past experience or through how they were raised. You'll find that some hate men regardless of Ajah, apart from the Greens of course.

 

We'll not ask nor expect you to hate men Carina, indeed, most of the Reds here don't hate men. Just because you have an Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah as your mentor does not mean we expect you to fall in with the customs, traditions or..." she eyed the novice, registering the reaction to this news "preconceptions of that Ajah."

 

Raslyn drank the rest of her tea, and looked longingly at the work on her desk, but pushed that aside and asked Carina what she knew of the One Power.

 

 

Carina sat silently for a while, digesting what the Sister had told her. Sipping her tea, she fixed her eyes on a small object on the desk she couldn't place but that worked well as a focuss point. Unknown to her, her face did not show any signs of her thoughts as she sat there pondering this new information. Indeed, without realising it, Carina had learned to stay absolutely still and unreadable thanks to her classes of Observation she had gotten from the forest rangers at Malkier. They were sparce in their compliments and hadn't seen fit to inform Carina of this skill she had, which was in fact part of their training tactics to avoid their students from becoming overconfident. More than once a student had been taken by surprise by a forest creature because they over valued their observation skills and thought they were completely safe when they were not. So the rangers learned to be extremely prudent with praise, for the students' own sake.

 

So, I'm not going to be forced to despise men, Carina thought and she felt a weight lifted from her shoulders as this would most certainly have been a severe problem otherwise. The Red Sister hadn't given her much new information on the Red Ajah, but the way in which she calmly confirmed that the women in her Ajah were 'only' women relaxed the girl. Without saying it out right, Raslyn had informed Carina that Aes Sedai remain human, with all the characterisitics of humans and thus too their preconceptions, prejudices, likes and dislikes. It was both a worry and a relief to realise that, for up till now becoming Aes Sedai had seemed to the young woman as having to become something beyond human. Which she was not all together sure she would manage. She also liked how the sister used a relaxed no-nonsense manner of imparting information and how at ease she stayed in her acceptance of this human side of the sisters. Carina found herself starting to like this sister, though she was prudent not to let her wishes carry her too far. It was still early day, and it would take more than a casual first talk to determine the nature of this woman's character.

 

"From my lessons at Malkier I know that the Aes Sedai use the One Power to channel, Aes Sedai" Carina responded to the sister's question. "I have not yet begun my lessons here at the Tower and my teachers at Malkier were circumspect in that they would not touch the subject beyond the shere basic knowledge, known to all. From what I understood from it, the One Power is made of the same energy that shapes and molds all things in the universe, to which some people gain access, allowing them to channel. These people must go to the White Tower to learn how to handle that safely and for the well being of all the peoples of the world."

 

Looking at the sister, Carina stopped for a second and continued.

 

"Raslyn Sedai, who or what decides who gets to be able to channel? Is that something the Creator decides or is that skill distributed at random?"

Raslyn observed the child before her, nodding to herself in approval. Whomever had taught this child had done their job well, her face remained unreadable, though Raslyn could discern the occasional flicker of relief in the child's eyes.

 

Sipping her Tea, she made a mental note to apologise to Larindhra for being so reticent about mentoring. If all novices were like this one then the Tower would fill up fast. Providing, that is, that she kept to her studies and didn't burn herself out before she could be moulded into a suitable Aes Sedai.

 

Listening to the girls final question, Raslyn took a moment to think on how best to answer it.

 

"The entire Brown Ajah probably wish for the answer to that one. Who knows what the Creator decides? The Wheel weaves as the Wheel Wills and we all must do our part. You can Channel and we may never know why, so we leave that kind of thinking to the Browns and get on with what we feel we should be doing with our gift." She paused for a moment, then went on to say, "You are right in saying that whoever can learn to Channel must come to the Tower to learn how best to use it, even if their ability is minimal. It is all too easy to become over confident and overreach yourself before you realise. Here we can teach you to know the danger of the One Power and how best to handle it.

 

You will have lessons on it soon I am sure, but for now I will fill you in on the basics. That is if you are not too fatigued?" Receiving a shake of the head in response, Raslyn continued " I don't mind interruptions, as long as they are pertinent to the conversation, so if you have a question feel free to ask.

 

The One Power comes from the True Source, the driving force of Creation, it is divided into two halves; the male and the female. The Male half, Saidin, is Tainted by the Dark One and whomever uses it to Channel shall go mad sooner or later. This is the main reason why the Red Ajah hunt men who can Channel, we do not wish another man going mad and breaking the world once again. But I digress, the female half is called Saidar. This isn't tainted, thank the Light.

The two halves work against each other and with each other to provide the force that turns the Wheel of Time. The True Source cannot be used up just as a river cannot be used up by a mill wheel."

 

Raslyn stood and returned her empty mug to the tray, disliking mess or anything out of place. She turned to the novice still perched on the edge of the comfy chair and smiled. "Have you any questions so far?"

 

Carina listened intently to her mentor as the sister explained to her the origins of the One Power and how it was distributed to men and women. She couldn't help but shudder at the thought of men channeling, though. No one lived a year in the Borderlands without learning about the dangers of male channelers. Yet... no one lived in the Borderlands too that didn't learn about the Prophecy of the Dragon either. What if they gentled the Dragon Reborn before the Last Battle? Carina decided this to be a question best kept till later, for perhaps this will be part of her lessons and she didn't want to rush ahead too far on things. When running, people usually overlooked all the subtle, yet important, details along the way. She was going to be a novice for quite some time, she thought, no use in trying to fly before she could walk.

 

Visualising the mill from Raslyn's example, Carina couldn't help but immediately think of the maintenance needed to keep the mill in good working order and her question came out before she could stop it.

 

"I see. So the Aes Sedai are the mill in your analogy?" She looked at the sister and continued, "A mill needs to be kept in good working order by regular maintenance checks, tough ups and replacement of worn down bits. I assume that an equally level of maintenance is needed to avoid the Aes Sedai from breaking down as the mill would without it? How does one avoid that, Raslyn Sedai?"

Raslyn permitted herself a small smile. The child was bright.

 

"Well, every Aes Sedai, and indeed novices and Accepted, ought to get into the habit of performing the Novice exercises. They help to clear your mind and relax you. As you set down the road towards becoming Aes Sedai, you will face many stern tests. They are designed to test you to your limits, only then will you understand your own limits and that is another part of the maintenance. No self respecting Miller would build a mill without testing its components, would you agree?" Raslyn paused then went on.

 

"The Tower will do the same....sometimes you will be tested to beyond what you think you can endure and then thrice over again. We need sisters that will not break under pressure and it is best to determine that now, here within the confines of these walls, than out there in the world. Do you understand child?"

 

Sitting herself behind her desk, she watched the child before her and awaited the questions she knew would come.

 

 

Carina mused over what the sister had just told her, invisioning the miller and his mill and how he would test the device to weigh it's limitations and potential. She had seen this done many times both in her homeland and in Malkier and one thing was always clear. Each miller that knew his trade, went about the testing extremely carefull. Mills weren't cheap or easily built, after all, so they were quite valuable. To ruin one in a test was one of the worst things a miller could do.

 

"I'm afraid I haven't had any novice excercises to train on just yet, Raslyn Sedai." She said at length, "So I am not at all certain I understand how these would work to maintain a fully trained Aes Sedai, though I can imagine them being designed to train budding channelers. Probably much like any other craft, where you start at the very basic of basics and gradually work your way up and perfecting the levels of controle each time. But surely a fully trained Aes Sedai is a mistress of her art by the time she is raised? Would she then not be in controle of herself at all times?" Carina cast a questioning look at the sister and resumed her musing for a bit. Raslyn appeared to understand that her mentee was not finished yet though, as she did not immediately respond. And indeed Carina had more questions.

 

"You say tests are installed to push us to the limits and beyond, to avoid any major problems out there. This I understand, I think. It would be catastrophic if controle would be lost at a critical moment indeed. But.... How are these tests performed? And how does one know which limits can be pushed and just how far without damaging the subject, in this case Novices and Accepteds? Surely the Tower would not risk losing a potential Sister by pushing her straight over the edge? Or would it?"

 

Not at all sure that the Tower would not do exactly that, Carina started to feel very queezy at the possibility that these sisters might have absolutely no problem in pushing her to her death or worse. She slumped a bit on her chair, trying to come to terms with that possibility. All I ever wanted to be was a Ranger, she thought to herself miserably.

Raslyn nodded at her Charges questions. "Good questions all. This is why it takes so long for a Novice to reach Aes Sedai, indeed some never do. Some fail because they push themselves too hard. That is as much as a problem as the Tower pushing them too hard.  Some burn themselves out, experimenting with weaves or  simply drawing on Saidar far beyond their ability, this is why we have a rule that Novices must not Channel without an Aes Sedai or an Accepted present. By the time you reach the level of Accepted you are expected to have realised some of your own limits, if not all. Even so, some still have continued on to Aes Sedai and then they have failed, either at the testing, or after.

 

With the One Power comes responsibility and yet so much temptation, that even Aes Sedai of long standing have been hard pressed to resist drawing too much of it, the feeling is.....well you'll discover soon enough."

 

Raslyn coughed and continued on. "Some of the tests you will experience will be of your own making, you can be sure of that and some of the tests will be ours. At all times you will have the option of refusing, and some take that option. It is entirely up to you at the time. I shall not go into the testings yet, for some are not for your ears until you have reached the allotted stage. But be assured, the Tower will have Aes Sedai, whether you will be one of them is up to you. You must be steadfast, try your best yet not too hard. That is one of the first lessons you must teach yourself, to know your limits and to balance them with your work. Do you understand me?" 

 

 

OOC: I'm sorry Kara, I totally forgot this was still hanging. Should have nudged me ;)

 

IC:

 

Carina quickly moved to assure Raslyn that she understood, which wasn't hard to do at all as it made perfect sense to her. As a Ranger trainee, the first and continuous lesson she was given and was given over and over again, was to not ever move beyond the boundries of that which was learned already. They were obligated to learn the names of all the ranger trainees that had forgotten that lesson as well as the manner in which they perished. Many had nightmares due to that, yet the Rangers would not let off on using that tactic, knowing the absolute necessity of it.

 

"Thank you, Aes Sedai, for your warnings and information. I have no doubt that the road ahead will be long and hard, but with the Light's blessing I shall not fail you." Carina spoke clearly, adding in thought, Nore shall I fail the man who gave his life to see me reach this place. She couldn't help but have her mind wander off to the journey she'd made and the things that happened along the way to reach Tar Valon. Inevitably her mind wandered towards her letter of shame and again she felt the pangs of distaste and self loathing that always followed. Those feelings were fast becoming a steady part of her life. Something she definately was not happy about but could not see any way to avoid them. Especially knowing how long it may be for her to be allowed outside the city limits in order to redeem herself. Would those people still be alive by then? Would she have to live with her shame till she died? Her throat closed in and her breath started to falter, her face now a shere image of misery and despair, as Carina was totally taken over by her thoughts and feelings. Her mentor forgotten, eyes staring aimlessly ahead, registering nothing except that blasted letter that has imprinted itself in her mind.

 

 

*continued in Carina's Redemption?*