Part one of three

 

The Glade of Remembrance. It was a place that Trainees spoke of in whispers, trying to imagine what the place would be like. It was a place of significance, for a Trainee went in only once. Sometimes they would return to the Glade, to help raise another Trainee, but they would return as Tower Guard. Every Trainee went in once and only once, and when they came out, they came out a Guard. Trainees were an odd conundrum; they were not sworn to the Tower, and yet they were Wards of the Tower. When the Mistress of Trainees wrote your name down in her book, all ties to any other place or people were immediately cut, yet no new ties were made. A Trainee entered the Glade of Remembrance as nothing, and exited sworn to the Tower, and sworn to a purpose.

 

Arath knew that he was close to being raised. He had been training in the Yards for over two years. The fact that Mistress Thera began instructing him on what to say in the ceremony merely cemented the fact. Arath didn’t know what to think… what to feel. He had been imagining what the Ceremony would be like for weeks. He was so grateful to the Tower, and it was an overwhelming feeling, to finally be able to repay what the White Tower gave him. Arath practiced the words until they came out of his mouth without any conscious thought, so when Mistress Thera came for him, clad in her most formal attire, he was ready.

 

The Glade of Remembrance was silent. As he was led to the Glade, Arath could not help but pause… to take his last look at the Glade from the perspective of a Trainee. Thera looked back at him, and Arath quickly caught up to her. Arath was sober as they passed through countless ancient and powerful trees. The Glade was full of giant oaks and conifers; they stood strong, blocking the center of the Glade from wandering eyes. All Trainees knew that there was something in the center, but no Trainee knew what. As they walked, the only sound was the crunching of their feet, and the wind whispering through the branches. Arath couldn’t help but feel like a novice in the ways of the world, walking among creatures more ancient than he could imagine.

 

Finally, the trees thinned, and the duo broke through the foliage. Arath’s first impression of the true Glade of Remembrance was breathtaking. It was nothing complex, only a small field of grass with a large stone in the center. However, it was so much more. In the high sun of noon, the stone shimmered, sparking with the Light. As a gentle wind blew through the glade, Arath felt the overwhelming sense of reality take him once again. This was it; he was going to be a Tower Guard. He was so entranced by the Glade that he almost didn’t notice the people inside the Glade.

 

Three women stood on three sides of the stone. On the side directly opposite himself stood the Captain of the Guard. She was stunning in the light, her black hair shining; the light seemed to dance on her head. In the time that Arath had paused, Thera had made it to the right side of the stone; she looked regal clad in her armor and sword. Arath’s breath caught as he saw the final woman standing on the left side of the stone. He knew that an Aes’ Sedai would be present at his raising, but he had only prayed it would be Her. Eqwina Sedai- the woman of his dreams- stood on the left, clad in her yellow shawl, being bathed by the Light. She looked even more like a goddess than usual. Unhesitating, Arath walked to the stone, and with each step his confidence grew. Finally, Arath knelt in submission under the Light.

 

"I come here unarmed, offering to give myself to the defense of those who serve all," Arath recited just as he had practiced.

 

He could truly feel the meaning of the ancient words, for his experience in the Yards had taught him so much. He knelt unarmed, with no defense, in the Light, and bared himself in front of them. Arath had learned a lot in his time in the Yards, and knew his purpose. Aes’ Sedai… Servants of All… they were truly the only people who could serve All, who could serve the World. They were the only Ones who could stop the Shadow, and Heal the world. Arath would give everything- his life, his honor, his love- to serve those who serve All.

 

Mia spoke solemnly, her words carrying a weight of finality. Like a judge she stood impartial, waiting for the verdict of her Jury. “Who would speak for you?”

 

“I would speak for him, he is fit.”

 

The words came from the Mistress of Trainees. The words symbolized so much; they symbolized his journey from an untrained child into a Tower Guard, ready to face whatever challenges arose. The job of the Mistress of Trainees was to look after the Trainees, to watch them and help them grow, until finally they were ready to Serve. Mistress Thera spoke for him, saying that he is fit. The words meant that finally, after all of his training, and after all the times that Mistress Thera had corrected him, he was finally ready.

 

The Commander did not turn to face the Mistress of Trainees at the words, keeping her eyes directly on the figure kneeling in front of her. When she spoke her words were impartial and cold, for she was truly judging him to see his worth. Her words rung with the wisdom of a thousand lives, for countless people had spoken the same words, and countless times had she spoken the words. “Who would trust you?” It was time for the figure on his left to interrupt. It was truly an interruption, for the words were not addressed to the guests, they were addressed to him. The two others merely spoke in.

 

“I would trust him.”

 

Her words were melodious, like chimes jingling in the wind. It was gentle and soft, like a whisper of wind fluttering on his cheek. The meaning, however, was incredible. She would trust him. Eqwina… the woman whom he adored more than words could convey… she trusted him. She put her life in his hands; she had the power to keep him from the Guard, but she trusted him to do his duties. Even though he was flawed and young, she still trusted him. She looked past his flaws and saw him for who he truly was, and for that Arath would be eternally grateful.

 

Part two of three

 

Arath could feel the weight of the Commander’s gaze upon him. He could feel her emerald eyes judging him. Twice had her questions been answered, and each time her gaze grew more intense, as if the answers were answers to great tests and each test was harder than the last. He seemed like he was being measured for eternity, before he passed the second test. In reality, it had only been a single instant before the Commander continued. “Who would accept you?”

 

“I would.”

 

Acceptance… it was a concept that had eluded him for a long time. When he was young, he was accepted, but as he grew- or didn’t grow- he slowly lost the acceptance. Arath couldn’t wonder what it would be like if he had never known acceptance. Would he have worked so hard? If he had never known what it was like… would he have struggled so much to regain it? It seemed like his entire teenage years were filled with the struggle for acceptance and acknowledgement. He had known acceptance again, when he made so many friends in the Yards, but never had anyone uttered the words. Spoken out loud, they were concrete and definite. It gave Arath an overwhelming sense of belonging and peace.

 

Once again, the wait of the Commander’s stare increased, but under the Light, Arath was not afraid of her. He knew that he was ready… ready to become part of the Guard. From the moment he had entered the thick trees of the Glade of Remembrance, he knew that his final moments as a Trainee were soon draining away, fading into nothingness. Having passed the third test, Arath waited for the Commander’s next question. “Who would witness your oath whose word is beyond question?”

 

“I would.”

 

Eqwina’s voice rung out again, yet this time it was stronger, full of certainty. The first time, it was full of serenity and calmness. Now the serenity was still there… but it was louder. Perhaps it was the same volume, but some quality about the words made it seem like a giant had spoken them, and not the fragile-looking, small woman in front of him. Arath was glad that she was here… he wanted her to see his last moments as an ignorant trainee; he wanted her to see him become a man. Having been weighed, tested, and approved of, Arath raised his eyes for the next part. Now came the time when he would be speaking, when he would be answering for himself. Arath’s brown eyes locked with the Commander’s green.

 

"Do you understand that once pledged you are forever bound to a rule of defense? Defense of all Aes Sedai, the defense of the White Tower?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Do you understand that once pledged you are forever bound to a rule of obedience? Obedience to your officers, obedience to all Aes Sedai?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Do you understand that once pledged you are forever bound to a rule of commitment? Commitment to serving faithfully, commitment despite any adversity?"

 

"Yes."

 

Arath did not hesitate at all, his eyes unwaveringly staring into the Commanders. He had gone over the questions in his mind countless times before. As he practiced his words at night, Arath thought of the questions. As he trained in the day, he thought of the questions. As he slept at night he dreamed of the questions. The first was easy; he would dedicate himself to the defense of Aes’ Sedai in a heartbeat. He already knew his reasons and had recited them countless times. The binding of obedience was harder, for Arath didn’t know if he could handle being forced to obey, but he eventually found peace with himself and realized that he could. The last question was also easy, for he was already committed. He had committed himself to the Tower for two years, and his training for far more than that. Commitment was not an issue.

 

Arath conveyed his surety through his eyes when he answered the Commander’s questions. He knew that some people saw this Ceremony as just a pleasantry, just a tradition that no one felt like breaking. Arath knew that it was so much more than a pleasantry; it was symbolic of everything the Tower Guard stood for. Thousands of trainees had knelt where he was kneeling, and hundreds of Commanders had stood where the Commander was standing. It was a right of passage; every Tower Guard had at one time completed this ritual, and now it was Arath’s turn.

 

“Then give me your oath now.”

 

This was it… once he had spoken the binding words; he would never be able to back out. This was his last chance at having a future of peace, instead of a future of bloodshed. All of the sudden, the severity of what he was about to do dawned on Arath. He was about to swear his soul in service to the White Tower. There was no backing out after this. After a few more sentences he would be eternally bound to service and defense of the Tower. There was no turning back after this. Time seemed to freeze; the sun was no longer hot, there were no sounds, not even the rustling of leaves. All that existed were the Commander’s piercing green eyes, and the seriousness behind them. In a single heartbeat, that moment passed, and with conviction Arath’s last moment as a Trainee passed.

 

"I swear by the light and my hope of salvation and rebirth, as a Tower Guard to defend the White Tower and all who call it home."

 

"I swear by the light and my hope of salvation and rebirth, as a Tower Guard to serve faithfully for as long as the White Tower requires me."

 

"I swear by the light and my hope of salvation and rebirth, as a Tower Guard to fight the shadow and uphold the light until my dying day."

 

Part three of three

 

It was done. There was no turning back now, his oaths were spoken, his life completely dedicated to the White Tower. He was damned to a life of bloodshed and death, of sorrow and pain. He was damned to defend the Tower for as long as it deemed fit. He was damned to fight the shadow until he breathed his last breath. He was damned. He could never do anything else with his life now, never be a blacksmith, or a thatcher, or a horse trainer, or anything else. He had decided his life and his destiny; he had bound himself to the White Tower… irrevocably, irreversibly, and unchangeably. And he didn’t regret a thing.

 

For the first time in the entire Ceremony, the Commander smiled. "We welcome you to the Tower Guard, you that were known once as Arath Talavin of Andor." While the Commander spoke these words, Arath could feel Eqwina getting closer. She reached down and fastened the red cloak of the Tower Guard on him, and as she fastened the clasp, Arath felt a shiver go down his spine. It was not because after two years he had finally become Tower Guard; it was because of her closeness to him… Arath could feel her hands fluttering on his body… he could smell her. And then in a single moment, it disappeared, and he was left kneeling, facing the Commander once again.

 

"We welcome you as Arath Talavin of the Tower Guard, our brother in arms. Rise and stand as one among many.”

 

One among many… Arath Talavin of the Tower guard… brother… It all rang in his head as he struggled to accept the mind-shattering reality. He was a Tower Guard. Finally he stood among his brothers and sisters of the Guard. After years of training, finally he had succeeded in becoming something great, something important. With the red cloak adorning him, Arath rose proudly as Thera stepped forward and presented him with a long dagger.

 

"You came to us unarmed, and as our mark of trust we place this steel in your hand. May you keep it as a symbol of the trust that has been placed in you, and may it serve you well."

 

Arath cradled the dagger like an infant, for it did indeed symbolize their trust in him. And that trust was not misplaced, for Arath would not break his word. He had sworn his Oaths, and now he would never betray them. In an instant, Arath was stuck by the realization that he had done it, he was a Tower Guard! He was a warrior clad in the red cloak and long dagger… he had finally become a warrior. Arath looked towards Eqwina; he could finally protect her. Arath looked towards Thera; he could finally repay her. Arath looked towards the Commander; he could finally serve under her.

 

Arath noticed that the Commander had walked around the stone on his left side, and soon placed her left hand on his left shoulder. She leaned in close to him, and said in a gentle voice that was almost a whisper: "Spare a moment for those who have come before you and to who you have become, as shall those who follow you." The words gave him an overwhelming sensation, and Arath had to quickly grasp the Void to keep from embarrassing himself. When he felt that the three had gone, Arath released the Void and fell to the ground.

 

Think of those who have come before you. Arath imagined the thousands of warriors that had come on the very same journey as he did. He imagined the countless red cloaks that had been through this Glade. Arath suddenly realized why it was called the Glade of Remembrance. Arath extended his hand towards the stone, until his palm rested on its ancient surface. How many countless people had stood in front of this stone? At one point Thera did, at one point even the Commander stood in front of this stone. This ancient rock had seen more warriors than Arath would ever see in his life. How many countless Tower Guard had kneeled in front of this stone, and bathed in the light? How many of those warriors sacrificed their lives for the Tower, for something greater than themselves? As Arath touched the stone, he couldn’t help but feel connected to the Tower Guards who came before him.

 

Suddenly Arath remembered the second part of the Commander’s words. To think about what he had become, as those who would come after. Arath couldn’t help but think of Jasine and Perivar and Melenis and his other friends in the Yards. When they passed through here, and had their own Ceremony, would they feel the same connection to the past that he did? Would they feel a connection to him, when they went through the Ceremony. Or perhaps they would have a completely different experience altogether? Arath thought of the one Trainee who would not be coming though this Glade. Arath remembered Anluan, and his sacrifice. If the other boy had not sacrificed himself, then Arath would probably not be here. Anluan was one of the bravest people he had ever known, and there was no one who deserved to be standing here more. Arath was overcome by emotion when he realized his friend would never be a Tower Guard… would never fulfill his dreams.

 

Arath knelt in front of the stone once more, remembering Anluan, and taking a moment to think of all the warriors like Anluan who sacrificed themselves for a greater purpose. He could only hope that he could live up to the title they had died for. Arath sat there until the sun had moved enough that it no longer fell on the stone. The small crystals in the stone slab stopped glittering now that the sun no longer illuminated them. Arath imagined them each as a life of a Tower Guard… he only wished that someday he could shimmer so brightly.

 

Slowly, Arath stood, and began his journey back through the woods. He was not rushed or hurried, walking in measured strides calmly and evenly. The ancient trees observed his passage, just as they had observed the passage of countless others. As Arath left the Glade, he could hear life begin to resume; squirrels were chattering, birds were chirping, nature sung its song. The Wheel kept weaving the Pattern, and life went on with no changes, except for one. Arath entered the Glade of Remembrance as a Trainee, and when he exited, he exited a Tower Guard.

 

Arath was to be the first of her special group of trainee’s to be raised. It was a bitter sweet day for her. Thera was always proud when one of her children attained the cloak, but today also signaled the end of her usefulness to them.

 

Often times she envied Mia and her chance to know them as they men and women they had become, not the children that had needed to be punished and led by the hand along the right path. So often that need caused resentment towards her that they could never look past. As she walked through those trees and into The Glade of Remembrance she sent up a prayer that this time would be different. Looking back over her shoulder at Arath she arched a brow at how he lagged behind. Surely he could not being having doubts now? With a sheepish grimace he caught up and maintained a measured pace behind. She had not been able to tell him all of what would transpire today, but he knew enough. Leaving him standing just past the entrance she went to take her place by the stone.

 

A peaceful calm settled over the glade, signaling the start of the ceremony and Arath’s new life. Taking a measured breath she placed her feet shoulder width apart and clasped her hands behind her back.

 

Few that knelt before the stone could help but feel the weight of the words that were laid upon them. She remembered all to well how she had trembled under that same weight. When it came time for her to speak the fated words she wanted to smile, but tradition ingrained in her bones made Thera do only as was proscribed.

 

“I would speak for him, he is fit.”

 

When he began to give his oath Thera shifted her eyes to watch his face. No matter how many times she bore witness to this Ceremony it always amazed her, the looks of fierce determination and wonder that passed through all their faces. It was in those moments that she knew her job was worth all the late nights and the headache.

 

Noticing the shiver that ran through Arath when the Aes Sedai placed the cloak on his shoulders, made Thera’s eyebrows rise. For some time she had known that he had his heart set on a Yellow sister. Could this be Eqwina? The small woman had fierceness behind her eyes that spoke of a hard inner core. She was surely a woman that was accustomed to being obeyed. Light help Arath if this is the one he’s after!

 

So caught up in worry for her former charge it took a moment for Thera to realize that her part was not done. Stepping forward with the dagger she laid it on his open palms. Now it was truly over; never again would she see him in her office for a punishment or give him a late night talk about not training too hard.

With one last look at Arath kneeling before the stone Thera quietly made her way back out into the yards. Whatever choices he made now were his own. He was man and she could no longer protect him from what he did not understand.

 

For all her years, and all her wisdom there were some things in life that even she could not explain. The inalienable desire to participate in Arath’s raising was one of those. He would raise today without her presence and yet she knew that could not be.

 

Dressed in her best cream silk with a delicate moonstone dangling between her emerald eyes Eqwina was perfection personified. Everything an Aes Sedai and a woman could hope to be and more. Draping her vine covered shawl around her shoulders she glided from her rooms and out into the noon day sun. A gentle breeze swirled her skirts around her ankles making Eqwina appear to fly as she floated across the yards and into the Glade. She was the first to arrive and took her place to the left of the stone with the sun at her back. To any who stood before her she would be a glowing angel, on the brink of flight.

 

As soon as Arath entered Eqwina locked her eyes to his, refusing to release. After today he would know what it meant to have the White Tower graven on his bones. Perhaps then she could find some use for her sweet little lap dog. Without hesitation she spoke her words, coating them with honey and with a look that said he was the only man in the world she could trust.

 

“I would trust him.”

 

A slow smile spread on her lips and her eyes took on a devilish gleam.

“Who would witness your oath whose word is beyond question?” With eyes like a hawk who had found its prey she spoke.

 

“I would.”

 

Half over and she could see that young Arath would be putty in her hands. A soft clay that she could shape and mold into the man she had always wanted and someday ..perhaps..she would be witness to an even more powerful set of oaths he would swear.

 

With the delicacy of a swan Eqwina reached behind the stone and raised a red cloak that she would place on Arath’s shoulders.

"We welcome you to the Tower Guard, you that were known once as Arath Talavin of Andor."

Leaning to allow her dark waves of hair to surround her face she lingered a moment as she clasped the pin that held his cloak in place.

"We welcome you as Arath Talavin of the Tower Guard, our brother in arms. Rise and stand as one among many.”

 

It was done now, he was hers! Eqwina smiled slowly, making sure Arath saw the pure joy that painted her face. She no longer had to have concern for the red hair twit who trained him, now she could move forward with the plans she’d been making almost since they’d met. As Eqwina gathered her skirts to leave the yards she whispered quietly under her breath. “Soon now my little duckling, very soon.”