Perivar leaned against the wall of the Armory waiting for his love to arrive.  Since his return and being raised to Tower Guard their time together was limited.  Apparently newly raised Aes Sedai had less free time than Tower Guards.  When Perivar had asked her she dodged his question changing the subject to something else.  No matter his love for her she was Aes Sedai and he was merely a Tower Guard.  Their were protocols to follow, he could not simply demand an answer.  He had been worried sick that he had done something wrong or that she no longer cared for him.  Kabria had insisted all was well but he still missed her. 

 

Did she know that the sun did not shine as bright when she was not there?  That the colors around him seemed less vibrant, the sweet scent of flowers seemed dulled?  Did she know that sounds where either too sharp or too deep?  His whole world was affected when she was not there, he longed for her, only she could make his world right.  He looked up hoping to see her coming his way but she was not, his world would remain dulled for a while longer.  He prayed she would not be too long.

 

Now that she was raised she could carry the dagger she had purchased in the town though he had not given it back to her yet.  Since their last encounter in the armory when she had cut herself on the throwing knife, he thought it best to wait until she could demonstrate that she could handle it without hurting herself.  That day was too painful to recall, he quickly pushed the thought aside though it did not go willingly.

 

At least now that she was raised she had more freedom in her manner of dress.  He did not have to worry about her white dress getting ruined.  Perivar reminded her to dress appropriately since she was sure to get dirty.  He would have to remember to tell her not to hurt herself.  His thoughts returned to that day when he said to her "When in my instructions did I say that you were supposed to cut yourself."  He was merely trying to joke with her to keep her mind from the wound. “ You know my love, you also did not tell me not to cut myself. Perhaps in the future you will be more specific?” Her response was timed perfectly to make him look like a fool though in truth it was well done.  He knew that he would never win a battle of wits with her, she had a way with words that far surpassed his.  He pushed the thoughts away again trying not to recall the rest.

 

This time his thoughts drifted back to a different day, a day he relived in his mind a thousand times, the Ceremony when he was raised to Tower Guard.  He remembered the shock when he heard Kabria's voice speak the words "I would trust him.”  He had been staring at the ground expecting to hear Loraine Sedai's voice though picturing in his mind that it would be Kabria.  He knelt there feeling guilt that he wanted Kabria in place of Loraine Sedai.  She had been an inspiration and an integral part of his training yet it was Kabria who governed his heart.

 

“Who would witness your oath whose word is beyond question?” Though the question had been lost on his as he stared into Kabria's blue eyes.  He thought he could stare into her eyes for eternity and never want for more.  He was in love with the beautiful Aes Sedai and she with him.

 

“I would.”  The moment was surreal, her voice like chimes, no sweeter music was ever heard.  The words could not have meant more at that moment.  Light how could he be so blessed.

 

Perivar was so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice her arrival.

 

 

In small rooms not much better than those she’d occupied in the Accepted Quarters, Kabria dressed hastily and tried to comb the knots from her hair.  Her worst days as a novice had paled when compared to her first weeks as an Aes Sedai. The pain of the Oaths was already fading, but the pain at realizing that she was not yet a full Sister in the eyes of the Green was all too fresh.

 

Studying her reflection in the mirror, she did not look any different than she had a few weeks past. Her manner of dress and the hand on which she wore her ring were the only real changes that she could see. Kabria managed a small smile as she ran her hands over the charcoal gray silk. It was cut in something between Saldaean and Kandori fashion, with a low scooping neck and thin skirts that clung tight and flared just below her hips. A slim silver belt was fastened around her waist and soft brushed leather boots laced up her leg. The only ornament other than her serpent ring was the necklace and charm that hung down between her breasts. The freedom to dress as she wanted was the only real joy she’d found since being raised to the shawl.

 

Part of her continued training was the learning of weapons. A Green sister was expected to be her own last time of defense when her Warders or Saidar failed. The idea of learning to fight had been no great torture, except when she’d had to beg to have Perivar as her teacher. She was convinced that only Loraine’s speaking for her turned the tables. All plans that she’d had of bonding Perivar the moment of his return, and then spending the night wrapped in his arms had been dashed. It seemed that they would have to wait for sometime to truly be alone. Grabbing her vine covered shawl and draping it proudly over her shoulders Kabria headed out of her rooms and towards the Armory.

 

As far as the Tower was concerned, she was a Sister fully raised; only the Green Ajah knew the truth. As she glided through the halls her mind wandered, thinking about what could have been. Loraine had come to her with the knowledge of Perivar’s raising and it had been her insistence once again that had allowed Kabria to participate. By then she had known the truth of her situation, but she’d harbored a small hope that somehow she could find time for one night with her beloved.

 

The weeks between their visits and the nights spent alone, crying into her pillow we the worst; but even their short time together was bitter sweet. Them both knowing that all too soon it would end. When she rounded the last corner and the Armory came into sight Kabria paused, stopping just behind a tall leather leaf. From a distance she watched Perivar at his ease, her heart fluttering in her chest. He was more beautiful than she’d remembered, the pain in his eyes only heightening his deadly grace. She could not pin point the day that it had happened, but almost over night her sweet love had hardened into a Warder. Even leaning casually he managed to appear on the edge of movement.

 

Drawing a deep breath and smoothing her skirts Kabria stepped forward, holding on to Aes Sedai serenity by a thread. The soft boots didn’t make much sound and she was at his side before he noticed her arrival. “Caught up in daydreams of me again?” She teased as she stood up on tip toe to kiss his cheek. “Not that I can blame you of course.” Grabbing her skirts she twirled once and gave him a wink over her shoulder. “I have been chastised more than once for allowing my mind to dwell too long on you. Sadly my Gaidin, you have consumed my mind as well as my heart.”  They had not bonded yet, but speaking as if they were made the separation less real. 

 

It was hard to look at him now and remember the anger and fear she’d felt in the first moments that they met. With all her heart she knew that he would die before letting any harm befall her. The secret he did not know was that the day he died, she would follow. Kabria had searched her whole life for a family and a place to belong. Now that she’d found him not even death would keep them apart.

“You know the price of being my teacher?” Closing her eyes she pursed her lips as she always had when waiting on his kiss.

 

Perivar was so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice her arrival...until he saw her watching him from behind the tall leatherleaf.  Honestly he should have noticed her sooner though it was a measure of how intense his thoughts had been.  He kept the pained look on his face so she did not suspect the ruse though it was no easy task as the sight of her always made his smile.  The joy of being around his Aes Sedai was more than he deserved.  She was his and he would let no man stand between them.

 

The thought of being caught off guard should have shamed him had he truly been caught off guard.  She was stealthy but no one studying to be a Warder would be so consumed by thought not to notice someone approaching even had they been daydreaming of her.  There was no way that he could be fit to serve her if he had failed so miserably.  He wanted to tell her about the ruse though she would learn soon enough.  As soon as they were bonded he would not be able to hide the fact from her.  If what he had learned about the bond was true they would be able to sense each other, sense each others mood, their feelings. 

 

Keeping the ruse was so much more fun.  The joy she showed at thinking that she had snuck up on him made it worth the price he would pay when she found out.  That joy always turned into kisses.  As if she had heard his thoughts “You know the price of being my teacher?” Closing her eyes she pursed her lips as she always had when waiting on his kiss.

 

First he bowed as protocol demanded, just the proper depth for an Aes Sedai from a Tower Guard.  It was not mocking in any way, she was Aes Sedai and proper respect had to be shown especially in public even if they were lovers.  With that aside he embraced her like there was no tomorrow, it was sweeter than he recalled since their meetings had been few and far between.  If anyone had been watching it would have seemed improper yet it was the price she demanded.  She was an Aes Sedai and he had to follow orders no matter how much he enjoyed orders such as those that came from her.  If anyone had an issue with it then they would get more than they bargained for.

 

"How did you know I was dreaming of you?  Are you sure there is not more you need to tell me of the weave you placed on me when I went away?"  He smiled raising an eyebrow trying to read her thoughts.  If she could read his then...no that was for another time.  "I can't blame myself either especially when you flaunt your beauty in front of me so.  I am a man Kabria Sedai not a stone.  If you continue to act this way then I am not sure if I can wait for that night alone that you promised me, even if you are Aes Sedai.  Perhaps I will marry you in the Sea Folk customs, your word will carry more weight when we are in public yet in private..." 

 

He could see the look of shock that he had learned such a thing.  He would never tell her but he had run into one of the Sea Folk Aes Sedai.  Ooh they were certainly not common it was just by luck that he had met her in the Tower Library when he was on an errand.  She had a gift for talking and happily told him about the ways of the Sea Folk.  He couldn't remember why but their marriage customs just happened to come up in conversation. 

 

"How would you like that my dear."  He put a playful tone in his voice  "No Kabria Sedai I don't feel like getting out of bed at the moment, come to I think of it I would like you to remain in bed with me.  I think I want you to kiss me."  He laughed out loud as he scooped her up in his arms.  It felt so good to hold her "I missed you my love.  If the Tower is going to keep you like this perhaps I will pay a visit to the Amyrlin Seat herself and inquire why she is keeping my lovely Aes Sedai from me.  Could you imagine the look on her face?"   It was so unlike him but when he was around her he sometimes became giddy like a little boy who knew he was doing something that he shouldn't. "Don't look at me that way my love, you know I would never do such a thing though if this continues for much longer I may consider it."  He smiled at her.

 

"Well Kabria Sedai my love, for the moment I will have to consider myself lucky that I am your teacher.  Now before we begin I am telling you to be careful, you are not allowed to cut yourself today or any day for that matter so long as you live.  Do you understand me, Aes Sedai?  Now before we begin there is something else I demand from you?"  He pursed his lips and closed his eyes just like she always did.       

   

Even just the few moments of pause while he bowed made Kabria bounce on her toes; it was not fair for him to tease her the way she did him. The kiss that followed more than made up for any amount of angst. She was out of breath by the time her feet touched the ground, but Kabria calmly set about to straightening her skirts. Unlikely as it was, if Loraine or Jaydena wandered by she would find herself in a world of pain.

 

"I can't blame myself either especially when you flaunt your beauty in front of me so.  I am a man Kabria Sedai not a stone.  If you continue to act this way then I am not sure if I can wait for that night alone that you promised me, even if you are Aes Sedai.  Perhaps I will marry you in the Sea Folk customs, your word will carry more weight when we are in public yet in private..."

 

Her body trembled and a soft tingle tickled her spine. Should she tell him that she could not wait for that night either? Hiding a smile and putting on her most commanding face she prepared to tell him that he would wait a lifetime for her if it suited her needs, but the words never came. Marriage? He thought to marry her….and in the Sea Folk way!

 

“ You want to….” Laughing she returned the arched brow and crossed her arms beneath her breasts in mock severity. “ Be careful what you wish for my Gaidin, you may find that marriage to me will tire you more than a months training ever could.” Smiling up at him she forgot all about her training or the strictures that were still in place. “I missed you my love.  If the Tower is going to keep you like this perhaps I will pay a visit to the Amyrlin Seat herself and inquire why she is keeping my lovely Aes Sedai from me.  Could you imagine the look on her face?" It was so unlike him to been so carefree; and his mood was so infectious Kabria thought her face would crack if she smiled anymore, but at mention of her Ajah secrets coming forth her smile slipped. "Don't look at me that way my love, you know I would never do such a thing though if this continues for much longer I may consider it."

 

“All things end with time” she said, her smile back, with mock formality. “This too shall pass” Perivar was thinking himself very clever and she hated to spoil his fun, but he had left out one important detail when he spoke his warnings. That was a thought for later though…. He looked positively ridicules with his lips pursed and his back arched so she would not have to jump to reach his lips. With a devious grin she brought her lips a hairbreadth from his before quickly pulling away. “We are in public light of my heart which means it is I that issue the orders, and right now I am not sure I feel like a kiss.” She pulled her shawl tight around her, the green fringe fanning out across her chest and hiding the display she’d been showing just for him. Three seconds past before she started laughing and gave him what he required. Even she only had so much strength against the feelings that raged inside. “The Sea Folk vows are not required to make me do what you wish when we are private. All that I am is already yours” Holding her shawl out she twisted as if showing him how open she could be. Perivar took a hungry step towards her and Kabria danced from him grip giggling. “I can see now that you are not made from stone, no stone could have your desire burning behind its eyes”

 

Allowing him to sweep her up for one more kiss Kabria pushed all her troubles and sleepless nights away. Right now all that mattered was him.

 

When she finally opened her eyes she smiled up at him and laughed. “ You and I may never find our time alone, if I cannot complete my training. Perhaps I should ask for another teacher…maybe Jasine..or Master Kynwric, he looks a fine man to me” With a wink she pulled open the large door and stepped back into the room where they’d first said goodbye. It was as she remembered, only there was no note stabbed to the table and no blood on the floor. “ I will let you gather the weapons for me, I would not want to break your rules.”

Kabria calling him Gaidin was bittersweet, he knew her intentions were good but it cut him like a knife.  It was a reminder of what he was not.  He could not tell her, he would use it to fuel him to do what he needed to do to make sure that one day she could say it and it would be true.

 

"My love I would gladly welcome the exhaustion if it came as a result of being in your arms.  I would endure anything for a moment alone with you."

 

Kabria toyed with him, pausing so close to his lips, if he moved only an inch they would meet but he could not.  “We are in public light of my heart which means it is I that issue the orders, and right now I am not sure I feel like a kiss.”   Ooh how she toyed with him, he opened his eyes as she pulled her shawl tight around her, the green fringe fanning out across her chest and hiding the display she’d been showing.  He enjoyed looking at her, he had memorized every curve of her body and he had to struggle with himself not to stare.  She was gorgeous and she new it, as much as she tried to hide the fact she had to know how beautiful she was.  When she finally kissed him he wanted it to last forever.

 

“The Sea Folk vows are not required to make me do what you wish when we are private. All that I am is already yours”Holding her shawl out she twisted as if showing him how open she could be. Instead of making him blush the thought emboldened him.  He stepped hungrily toward her trying to scoop her up into his arms yet she danced from his grip with all the grace of an Aes Sedai as she giggled.  “I can see now that you are not made from stone, no stone could have your desire burning behind its eyes” "My love, not even the most pure and chaste man could resist your beauty.  I certainly could not, your beauty outshines all the gardens in Tar Valon."   His world revolved around her, he could not help but sweep her up into another embrace. 

 

When the embrace ended he wanted to scoop her up again, it took all his will to resist.  She smiled up at him laughing as she said  “ You and I may never find our time alone, if I cannot complete my training. Perhaps I should ask for another teacher…maybe Jasine..or Master Kynwric, he looks a fine man to me”  With a wink she pulled open the door waiting on him though he did not move right away.  He could not hide the sour look on his face, the mere thought sent pangs of jealousy which assaulted his heart and mind.  The sight of her with another man would destroy him.

 

“ I will let you gather the weapons for me, I would not want to break your rules.”  He smiled at her, a devious calculating smile.  "See that you do not for I will be the one to set your punishment, no other."  Not Jasine or Master Kynwric or any other he thought as he smiled at her to cover his thoughts.  He went to the spot in the armory where he kept the weapons she had selected the last time they were here.  He brought them to the table where he layed them out so she could see them all.  5 throwing knives and a short double edged sword lay on the table.  Propped against the table was the quarterstaff. 

 

"One more thing, I'll just be a moment." He smiled over his shoulder as he went to another shelf.  He returned with his hands behind his back  "Now close your eyes."  She smiled at him trying to read his thoughts though he reminded her who was in charge.  "Are you disobeying my instructions already my love.  Remember it is I who sets the punishment."  He playfully arched an eyebrow until she closed her eyes.

 

With her eyes closed he stepped in front of her placing a white flower in her hair above her ear.  "Yes that looks nice, not as beautiful as you but it looks pretty."  He gently kissed her lips then told her she could open her eyes.  When she did he gave her one red rose.  "I hope you like red roses?" he asked "I removed the thorns so that you did not hurt yourself."  He smiled at her giving her another kiss on her cheek.  He waited for her response before speaking again.

 

"Let's begin then.  Take a moment to look at the weapons you selected, if you want to look at any others then you are welcome to do so.  If you have any questions about them do not hesitate to ask.  I may not even require a kiss for each answer I give you."  He finished with a smile.  Just being around her was magical.           

“Something in your smile makes me think that I will be spending my nights awake. Dreaming up transgressions so that you may punish me.” As she watched him walk to the back room she examined every inch of his amazing physique. He would be the first and no doubt greatest pleasure of her life. And if it does not happen soon I will burst! "One more thing, I'll just be a moment." When he smiled Kabria’s heart skipped a beat and she found herself wondering if the door to the back room had a stout lock. "Now close your eyes." Smiling she crossed her arms and stared him in the eyes, but finally relented even if it meant missing out on his punishments.

 

The sweet smell of pollen drifted to her nose and she blushed as she felt him slip the flower behind her ear. Even surrounded by tools of death she did not think the moment could have been anymore romantic. Once again she wrong; when her eyes opened her vision was filled with the most gorgeous and perfect rose she had ever seen. It was in the perfect stage of bloom, the soft petals just barely opening to the sun. The poet within her could not help but compare the blossom to their love. “Its perfect….just like you”

Embracing Saidar she wove a keeping around it, that would allow the rose to always remain just as it was when he’d give it to her. Looking back at him, with his dark eyes and beautiful smile she made a decision right on the spot. He would be her husband and be damned with propriety. “I love you so much, and every day I learn something new about you that makes me love you all the more” Setting the rose carefully on the bench she glided over to where the weapons had been set.

 

"Let's begin then.  Take a moment to look at the weapons you selected, if you want to look at any others then you are welcome to do so.  If you have any questions about them do not hesitate to ask.  I may not even require a kiss for each answer I give you." 

 

Again she fought the urge to slide her fingers over the blades, but instead she tucked her hands behind her back and contented with only looking with her eyes. “ If you do not require a kiss then I am afraid that there will be no questions from my lips.”

 

To her the sword held an obvious purpose and she had seen the use of a Quarter staff and even used one similar when she had learned of hand to hand combat. It was the small knives that were a mystery. “ These here..” she passed her hands over the top of where they lay. Laughing as Perivar tensed. “ Why 5? Surely 1 larger would do as well. And…” Her lack of knowledge grated her and she had to force herself to ask. “ How are these used? With such a short..handle?.. they cannot be very effective for stabbing.”

 

Had she been forced to have another teacher Kabria would not have been so bold. Admitting that there was some knowledge that she had not yet gained from her books, hurt and she did not think she could be so open with anyone else. With the teachings begun she could not squelch the desire to learn, but even so she stepped closer and snuggled herself under Perivar’s arm. It was torture to be so close and have no physical contact.

 

Perivar wanted to spend every waking hour in her arms, kissing her and more though unfortunately the time for that would come later.  Now he had a duty to perform, he was her instructor and he owed it to her to make sure that he taught her right.  There wouldd still be time for kisses and caresses though if they did not begin soon he would teach her nothing today.  It was hard teaching your love especially since she was so beautiful and that dress, light it was almost scandalous when she moved seductively as she towyed with him.

 

Perivar was studying her reveling in her every movement.  She was stunning, beyond beautiful in every way.  “ These here..” He tensed as she put a hand near the knife, it was her right hand the one with the compass inked on it.  “ Why 5? Surely 1 larger would do as well. And…”  She hesitated “ How are these used? With such a short..handle?.. they cannot be very effective for stabbing.”

 

Perivar smiled, he loved any opportunity to speak to her, he had hoped that she would ask a question just so he could hear her musical voice.  "Those my darling are throwing knives.  Why five? Well the more the merrier, why carry just one when you can have five on your body at any given time."  He decided know was the perfect time to show her though it was more for his own urge to touch her.  Perivar approached her "You tuck them away in the top of your boots here."  He touched each leg where the knife would lay.  Light it felt so good to touch her.  "and here" He touched the cuffs of her dress.  Then he walked behind her.  He smelled the sweet scent eminating from her body and hair.  He soaked it all in.  Brushing her hair aside he kissed that back of her neck softly.  "and here..."  Walking back in front of he he continued "there are other places where they can be hidden but it would not be proper for me to touch you there...not here at least."  He flashed a playful smile that said he would like to show her. 

 

Perivar had spotted the rose on the back of her neck tucking it away for later.  He  stared at her a moment enjoying the view a little too much as he eyed her from head to toe. "Perhaps I will not let you wear this dress or one like it the next time we meet for training.  I find it distracting, I cannot properly train you if I cannot keep my thoughts straight.  It was hard enough when you wore that plain white Accepted's dress but now... do not get me wrong, the dress is very lovely my dear, alsmost too lovely in a way.  The cut emphasizes your gorgeous curves leaving little to the imagination.  Believe me it is beautiful and fits you perfectly though if you could read my thoughts at the moment you would either make me your husband or box my ears.  I have told you often enough that I am only a man.  Just being near you, I feel like I could burst."   

 

Light if he kept on this way he would burst.  He tore his eyes from her which was no easy task picking up one of the throwing knives so he could concentrate on it.  "Some people are so skilled with these that they could take out someone's eye at fifteen paces.  Once you have spent enough time practicing with their placement and unsheathing them it would be possible to have one in each and on their way to your intended target in the blink of an eye.  They are not easy to master but once you have done so they are quite deadly.  Having five at your disposal is much better than having only one." He had to struggle not to think about where they would be placed. 

 

"You throw them like so."  He took one simulating as if it was up his sleave.  With a quick flick of his left wrist he hurled it at the wall where it landed with a thunk, with his right hand he reached behind his head then threw the knive overhand at the wall.  It landed with a thunk quivering within a foot of the other.

 

"However my dearest Kabria, before we get to that we must learn to properly care for them.  You must treat all weapons as if their edges are razor sharp."  He watch her as he smiled at her making sure she got the point.  He opened a wooden box on the table taking out a few pieces of cloth and a flask of oil.  "You must maintain your weapons as if your life depends upon it as it often does if you are carrying them in the first place.  A weapon is no good to you if it is in poor quality.  A thin coating of oil will help protect it.  You will have to periodically clean them to make sure they remain in good condition."  He put some oil on a cloth wiping one of the knives.  "Carefully like this, not too much then wipe it to remove any excess oil." he showed her exactly how to do it.  "Make sure you do not get oil on the handles.  They are painted and dipped in sand so that you are able to grip them.  These are a crude set though after you have practiced with them we can get you a better set if you like."

 

"My price for this lesson will be this.  I want to know so much more about you.  I want to know what you like, what you dislike everything you are willing to tell me, I want to know it all.  If you do not mind speaking of them I would like to know about these." Taking her hands in his he kissed the compass on her right hand, then the three stars on her left hand, and moving to stand behind her he brushed her hair aside again kissing the rose on the back of her neck.

 

The prospect of being to kill without ever having to come in contact pleased Kabria. The few altercations she’d been involved in had shown her that she did not have, and would never develop the taste for killing that so many harbored. 

 

"You tuck them away in the top of your boots here." His fingertips brushed the top of knee and even through her skirts Kabria’s legs begin to tingle. As his hands slid down her arms to her wrist she closed her eyes.

 

“and here..."  Walking back in front of her he continued "there are other places where they can be hidden but it would not be proper for me to touch you there...not here at least."  Pressing her hands to her stomach Kabria tried to calm the butterflies. If this continued she was not sure that they would leave the Armory as fully clothed as they were now.

 

“You are not the only one that struggles my love.” Her eyes took on a mischievous gleam “I regret to inform you that all my dresses are cut in this way. If they displease you then I will be forced to train without. Somehow I think that might make things harder.”

 

“With risk of bringing up a topic that so easily diverts you. How do the knives stay tucked up my sleeves, or elsewhere? Are their sheaths like the one for the dagger we bought?”She watched in fascination as the dagger flew from his hand and landed in the wall. He made it look so easy, but she knew if she tried it would not bring the same results.

“ Can you teach me how to master these knives? I think they are a weapon I would very much enjoy!”"However my dearest Kabria, before we get to that we must learn to properly care for them.  You must treat all weapons as if their edges are razor sharp." 

In a most un-Aes Sedai fashion Kabria rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue as he talked about the sharp edges. The scar on her wrist was meant to serve as a reminder of what distraction would do. Now in a room full of sharp knives she could hardly concentrate, her mind consumed with thoughts of she and Perivar tangled in the sheets.

 

The oiling and caring for the blades did not seem hard, only tedious, but like all things there was always work involved. Taking the cloth from his hands she picked up another knife and did just as she was shown. The crude knives were not beautiful, but she could not help but heft them in her hands. The weight seemed right and she could almost imagine one flying from her fingers. 

 

"My price for this lesson will be this.  I want to know so much more about you.  I want to know what you like, what you dislike everything you are willing to tell me, I want to know it all.  If you do not mind speaking of them I would like to know about these." Once again the knife fell from her fingers, this time only falling as far as the table. His hot breath on her neck made Kabria’s knees weak and she leaned forward clutching the table for support. When he gave no sign of pulling away she knew that this matter had to be taken into her own hands. Or the next person to walk into the armory would find two sweaty bodies and a pile of clothes. Taking a step forward she picked up another knife and the cloth and sat down on the bench.

 

“I will tell you all my secrets…while you watch me work” The memory of Jaydena’s fierce eyes was all that kept Kabria focused on the work. She had to get through these trials so that she could finally be alone with Perivar before her heart burst. “The compass is a copy of the one Shenesta had. It was the symbol of her family, my family.” Once she would have felt foolish claiming the Sea Folk woman, but those days had past. Perivar had shown her that your family was who and where you made it. “ The stars were part of the symbol of her ship and the place I called home for 5 years. All of my tattoos carry special meaning to me. The rose perhaps is the only one that I regret. I don’t remember my father. The only image I can ever bring forth is that of a smiling face and as soon as I think I can see him clearer even that is gone.” Her hands slowed on the knife, but she kept talking, staring down at her work. “But I do remember his sigil. It was a rose on a field of white, with a sword laid behind.” Kabria did not need to look up to see the question in his eyes. “I did not get the sword because I did not feel it was my right. You see…my father was a noble, a married noble and my mother was a maid.” She stole a glance at his eyes wondering how he would take it, knowing what she was.

 

All the knives had been oiled so Kabria moved onto the sword; trying not to meet his eyes.

 

 

He smiled at her returning her mischievous smile.  "My dearest Kabria, just when I think I have one up on you, you parry my blow.  If only I had a better way with words, then perhaps I might be a match for you.  The way I avoided my lessons as a child it is amazing that I can talk at all let alone read and write."

 

"I don't know that it has been done before but perhaps I will ask the Mistress of Trainees if there are any regulations that mandate the wearing of clothes during training.  If I recall correctly it is the instructor that sets the rules.  I think it important to remind you who your instructor is today.  After all my dear if you removed the dress at least you would not have to worry about it getting dirty.  I could never forgive myself if I sent an Aes Sedai back to the Tower with a dress that was stained."  He could not believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.  He had never been so bold before yet she brought it out in him.

 

"Alas my dearest Kabria Sedai, I fear that you are right.  Without the dress I fear we would not accomplish the training that you are here for.  Light knows it is hard enough with the dress on and if all your dresses are cut so then perhaps..." He paused a moment deep in thought "...I'm sorry but I told you it is hard to concentrate aroud you my love.  Perhaps I can go to the storeroom and find a sack.  I doubt that would work either as your beauty would probably make it look like a gown."

 

"Now back to training if you will."  He smiled at her as if the distraction had been all her fault.  "To answer your questions, yes there are special sheathes.  There are types of sheathes that allow you to strap them to your wrist or legs, types that allow you to tuck them in your boots, then there are the type that you can sew into you clothes."

 

Perivar had listened as she spoke about the tattoos.  He tucked away every detail about her so he could recall them when she was gone.  He truly wanted to know all about her.  He noticed her hesitation as she began to speak about the rose.  He wanted to put his finger to her lips and tell her that she did not have to talk about it but it was part of her and he wanted to know.  He knew to truly love her he had to understand her and he could not do that if they could not share their thoughts with each other.

 

Perivar took the sword from her hand laying it on the table.  Kneeling down in front of her he took her hands in his forcing her to look at him.  "My love there is far more in life than a noble birth.  It matters not who your parents are, it matters what is inside here."  He touched her chest where her heart would be with his fingertips.  "There is a passion in you that is unrivaled, a strength that most men do not possess.  I watch you, every moment that we are together and I wonder how it can be that you are with me.  I often stare at you and feel as if I am not worthy.  None of that passion or strength inside you comes from birth.  It is the desire and drive inside of you, the struggles that you have endured that has made you who you are today.  Not everyone could do what you have done.  A noble birth means nothing my love, being a noble simply means that you have a greater duty to others.  I have seen Nobles shirk their duty and run away to save their own hide while a simple farmer rises to the occasion doing what the noble would not.  Being a noble is a responsibility far more than it is a privilege.  Regardless of your birth nobody can take away who you are."  He stared into her eyes not letting her break contact.

 

"As if that is not enough you are an Aes Sedai Kabria.  Aes Sedai are said to make Kings and Queens dance to their tune, that is far greater than any noble could do.  I, the son of a noble find myself wanting to fulfill your every desire, I find myself wanting to be near you every moment of my life.  While I am away from you I feel an ache deep inside my heart, I feel a loss that seems beyond repair.  When we are together it is like the sun in my sky shines brighter, the colors are more vivid, my whole world is a better place when you are near.  I feel so lucky to be in love, so fortunate that you are sharing your life with me.  I love you for who you are not for what you could have been." 

 

His words became more passionate as he spoke.  He was so consumed in the moment that he was near to shouting.  He had seen the pained look in her eyes and he wanted to crush everything in her past that had caused her pain.  "It matters not how you were born, you are who you are and that is nothing that can be taken from you.  Let someone say you are less in their eyes, let them dare and I will destroy them.  I will not have you thinking you are less then you are because to me you are everything.  I love you Kabria, everything about you, every little detail.  You rule my world, every breath I take is because of you.  You occupy my dreams, every morning I wake you are my first thought.  I often wonder how I am worthy of your love.  I wonder what I did to deserve you in my life.  You Kabria, the woman, the Aes Sedai who was born to an Illianer noble and a Kandori maid, you are the one I love, you are the one who holds my heart in your hand.  You and no other!"

The sword felt heavy in her hands, as if she could already feel the weight dead. But Kabria did not think that was why her hands trembled on the blade. Her eyes followed the shining steal as he took it from her hands and laid it carefully among the others. A part of her did not want to meet his eyes, ashamed of where she had come from and ashamed of being ashamed. It was a vile mixed that her turned her fluttering stomach sour.

 

The pressure of his hands and the trust that she knew she had to give made her blue eyes steady on his. "My love there is far more in life than a noble birth.  It matters not who your parents are, it matters what is inside here." She wanted to clutch his hand to her chest, but the weight of his words had her frozen where she sat. It wasn’t until his last words passed that she was even able to breathe. “You and no other!"

 

That he could hold her in such high regard made a pride swell in Kabria and she delivered her words without tears. “You will never know what it means to hear you speak those words. I have never thought less of myself because of my station in life, but when I heard you were of noble birth I was sure that now that it mattered it would make a difference. I will speak my words plain so you know that there is no lie…”Shifting so that both her hands were between hers, Kabria strengthen her voice and held his eye. “In the time since I have met you many promises have been made, and gifts given, but there is none so precious as the one thing I have yet to say. From the moment I first laid eyes I you I knew that you were going to be my match. Your ferocity and pride are rivaled only by my own, and I love the way you challenge me with every breath. The moment that you bend knee and become something you are not, by trying to be my lesser is that day that my love will falter. I love you just as you are..my match, my partner, my equal and my love”

 

“There are some secrets that I long to tell you, but for now must be kept between my sisters and I. But I swear to you under the Light and by the hope of my salvation and rebirth that the first moment I am able I will bond you my warder. By the oaths that bind me, and I hope my love..you know these words to be true”

 

Inside she was weeping, but somehow the tears would not come. The promises and the oaths she had just made were the first she’d uttered made since taking those to her Ajah. There was no hesitation or even a doubt in her mind. Perivar was the one for her and the fact that her words had flowed made her know it for true.

 

The thought that she would lie to him never crossed his mind.  The fact that she needed to qualify that threw him off guard.  Was it something from her past that made her say it or was it that she thought that he believed the saying that Aes Sedai twisted words to suit their needs.  Regardless he had never thought she would lie to him.

 

Her words shocked him in a way.  He had never thought of her as an equal.  He had known all along what she would become and always though of her being in charge.  They could be lovers, friends, even married though in the relationship between Aes Sedai and Warder it was the Aes Sedai who assumed the lead.  Ooh he had heard of the contrary, where they were considered equal yet it was still the Aes Sedai who held the greater responsibility, the greater burden in the eyes of the Tower.  Simply she was the one who had the most to lose so it seemed natural, someone had to lead.  Perhaps it was different with the Green Ajah where sometimes Aes Sedai and Warder were married.  If she wished them to be equals than it would be so.  He would do anything for her love.

 

“There are some secrets that I long to tell you, but for now must be kept between my sisters and I. But I swear to you under the Light and by the hope of my salvation and rebirth that the first moment I am able I will bond you my warder. By the oaths that bind me, and I hope my love..you know these words to be true”

 

"My love, there is no reason that I would ever doubt the truth of your words.  You do not need to reference any oaths for me to believe you.  I have never doubted you, not ever, not for a moment.  Not even in my darkest times when I was away from you did I doubt your love or your intentions.  I doubted myself, I doubted my worth and found it lacking yet I returned to you.  At times the promise of your love was all that held me together.  It pains me to think on those days yet they have passed and I am with you now.  Even when I returned and found you were not there waiting, even then I never doubted your promises.  I know of our future plans my love, I know what will come to be though you must understand that I am not your Warder yet.  I know it is not your fault, I know there are things that you cannot tell.  I know that it is out of your control but it is one thing that is more important to me than anything short of your love.  The fact that I cannot have it cuts me deep.  No matter the amount of promises it is not reality, not yet.  I can deal with the fact but I do not have to like.  I have sworn to you that I will wait, I will hold to that oath forever if necessary but I don't have to like what I am not."   As his words ended he placed his lips to her forehead gently kissing it.  "I am yours forever." He whispered.

 

 

 

 

Over and over in her head Kabria repeated the same phrase. One day soon he will be mine and we’ll no longer feel this pain It began to sound like a chant, engraving its self on her brain. As his lips left her skin she knew what had to be said.

 

“ I am sorry that I cannot give you more, however much I may want to…The Green Ajah is my mistress and for now I can be no more than a humble servant. Perhaps would be easier if we were apart? Surely there is someone else in these yards whom you’d trust my training too? That way the next time we were together it could truly be as Aes Sedai and Warder?”

 

It pained her to ask, but if the sight of her could cause such emotions it might be best for both of them. Any distractions now were only a hindrance.

 

“Do not think for a minute that I wish it this way! I only offer in an attempt to ease your suffering. As I told you once before I feel it every minute you are in pain” For a long time there was silence, broken only by the wind tapping branches against the window pane. As she saw Perivar gathering himself to speak Kabria steeled herself for whatever answer was to come. She would accept what he wanted with as much grace as she could muster.

 

Why she found it such a great shock that he would accept nothing of her words Kabria did not know. She had to have been a fool to believe that he would really be parted from her a moment longer than necessary. “ I am glad to hear you speak those words. I may have fallen over dead from heartbreak had they been any other.” Stealing another kiss she smiled.

 

Glancing out the windows she was shocked to see how far the sun had moved. “I only have a small amount of time left. What about this?” Her fingers ran down the side of the quarter staff. “Is there any special care that must be taken with this?" She hated to push her emotions aside but she feared that if she did not Loraine may find out put an end to their lessons. 

 

When she told him that she had little time left his heart sank.  They had so much time apart from one another that he wanted every moment together to last an eternity.  There was so much that he wanted to learn about her yet there was his duty to train her and do it properly.  There always seemed to be something hanging over them, another condition to meet.  Perhaps it would always be so but he would any part of her that he could get.

 

Perivar watched as her fingers ran down the Quarterstaff.  The thought may have seemed silly to some but he suddenly found himself jealous of the Quarterstaff.  Jealous of a piece of wood because he yearned for her touch.  He went to reach for her hand yet his hand stopped as she spoke “Is there any special care that must be taken with this?" Always something in the way he thought.  He smiled at her to hide his disappointment.

 

"That is a good question my love and fortunately for you I will not require you to get your hands dirty.  Instead you will get the pleasure of hearing me explain it to you.  Make sure you pay attention as I may test you when I am finished."  He smiled that mischievous smile that foretold the price of failing his test.

 

"Much of a quarterstaffs quality comes from how it was prepared.  When a weaponmsith is crafting a quarterstaff he carefully selects the sapling making sure to avoid those that have large knots, decaying branches, or cracks.  Those are all signs of weakness.  Once he has selected the right piece he cuts it to the desired length leaving the bark intact then places one end in a barrel of teak oil.  Next he pours teak oil over the exposed end, as much as it will absorb.  He wraps the ends to keep as much of the oil inside the sapling." As he spoke he wrapped his arms around her stealing a kiss.  He stepped back smiling at her  "Each week he will repeat this process for approximately two to three months."   He wrapped her up again in his arms stealing another kiss.  Stepping back he eyed her like a lion eyeing his prey  "Finally he shaves the staff of its bark shaping it to the desired thickness."  Eyeing her like a lover undressing her with his eyes.

 

"Occasionally you will have to treat the staff with teak oil to make sure that it does not become brittle and crack."  Much like a lover my dear, too little affection and they are sure to break from the strain.  He smiled at her.  "Now I intend to show you my affection for the remainder of our time so that our hearts do not become brittle and crack.  When our time is up I will escort you to the Tower as any faithful Tower Guard would do."  With that he pulled her close kissing her for all he was worth hoping that the moment would never end but deep in the back of his mind he knew there was something else waiting for them, duty was an unrelenting mistress.   

It was wrong, and a small voice in her mind screamed that she should ask punishment for her transgression, but whether or not she did everything but the feel of Perivar’s lips was lost to her.

 

“Yes…I will remember..weakness..teak oil..and brittle. Got it” She murmured against his lips between kisses. “You’re a fantastic teacher..except…I have not seen any of these punishments you speak of. Perhaps I should be a worse student”

Pressing her body closer to his and wrapping her arms tight around his neck she forgot all about duty and obligation. She had another quarter hour to stay with him and she would not allow even one shred of that to be spent focusing on anything else. And for that time she stayed true to her word, but when the bells over the Tower peeled Kabria sighed and untangled herself from his arms. Her dark gray dress was rumpled but with luck that could be passed off as a training hazard; the smile splitting her face would not be so easy to hide. Closing her eyes Kabria pictured the rosebud and the sun trying to find the calm she would need back inside the Tower walls.

 

“I have to go my love..” There was so much to say and yet no words would suffice. Linking her arms through his she allowed him to escort her back to the Tower; pretending as if he was nothing more than another Tower Guard. Her heart sank when he bowed and walked away, leaving her alone and broken hearted to make her way to the Ajah’s Quarters.

 

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