Edana stretched, but it did nothing to stem the energy she couldn't get rid of. She could corner someone and beg for a spar, but that would only make it impossible to focus tomorrow during training. She shook her head and made her way out of the barracks, waving to the Guards on duty and wandering the slowly quietening streets of Tar Valon until she found herself at her favorite tavern. The bartender knew her, he understood why she only ever ordered one ale and took her time about drinking it. He also understood why her attention was usually focused on the other people in the tavern, and not as much on conversing with him the way it once had.

 

As usual, he nodded and set a tankard of ale on the bar as she entered. She smiled, dropped a coin on the bar next to the tankard and took a seat, immediately turning to scan the room more thoroughly than she had when she entered. There was a game of stones near the door that looked to be getting heated. There was a table full of very loud men arguing at another table nearby. Then in the corner was a nest of women all vying for the attention of the man sitting there. They weren't being circumspect in the least bit about their intentions, either. Edana arched her eyebrow, though she couldn't make out the face of the man in the corner right away. When she recognized him and saw the clear discomfort (or was it annoyance?) in his expression, she grinned and picked up her ale.

 

She crossed the room slowly, making sure he'd welcome the intrusion before stepping into the fray. "There you are! I've been looking all over Tar Valon for you, love!" She bumped the nearest girl out of the way with her hip as she set her tankard on the table and leaned forward. "I just knew some fishwife had made off with my husband!"

 

She heard a gasp from over her shoulder and turned towards it as if only realizing the girls were there. "Oh, my! It seems you were after someone else's affections after all!" She teared up and sank into a chair, nearly sitting in the lap of a gaping brunette. "I thought my sisters were joking when they claimed they'd seen you with four other women! How many wives do you have, husband?"

 

Her voice had gotten louder, and most of the girls found it in their best interest to get away from the scene as quickly as possible. She smirked, tossing him a wink as she turned her reddening eyes to the last two. "Please don't let his good looks fool you! He's a scion of the Dark One if the number of women he collects is any indication. I beg you! Save yourselves!" She broke into a loud sob and laid her head on the table, scaring them off with her wailing. She raised her head and smirked at the man across the table. "You really should be more careful appearing in a place like this all by yourself, you know. They could've easily overpowered you."

 

She grinned and sat up, brushing the fake tears from her eyes. "I'm Edana," she smiled, taking the time she hadn't been able to take before now to see the subtle differences between Sandre and the man across the table from her. If her heart did a little flip, it was only because the similarities reminded her of Sandre and how much she missed seeing his smile. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Sandre Kaldun, would you?"

 

~Edana

Dante watched in amusement as one by one this rather long legged woman began to chase off the other women one by one. He almost wished he could watch the performance on a side line some where or in stadium seats. When the last one left he couldnt help but slap the table and laugh.

 

"You really should be more careful appearing in a place like this all by yourself, you know. They could've easily overpowered you."

 

Dante's mood was lightened by this whole event. "Better than Aes Sedai prowling the yards." He grinned. "I almost think some of them are ready to wrap me in air until I agree to bond."

 

"I'm Edana.You wouldn't happen to be related to Sandre Kaldun, would you?" 

 

Dante nodded. "Is it that obvious?" He leaned back in his chair so it sat on two legs and had one foot on the table to balance him as he folded his hands behind his head. "Im Dante Kaldun. Youngest brother of the three. Its nice to meet you finally Edana. I see now why Sandre is so afraid to lose you."

 

He pushed some spiced wine towards her as her tankard was half full. It wasnt nearly as hard as what she was drinking but the taste wasnt bad at all. "You dont need to worry about drinking tonight Edana. I will look after you. Your family after all. Or at least it seems Sandre hopes you will be if hes trusting you with his books."

 

Dante allowed the chair to fall back forward and he leaned over it slightly. Hes taken some rotten jobs and exhausting shifts to spend even a few hours with you. Even classes men normally wouldnt take because he didnt want to be inadequate if you asked him to do something he couldnt do... he looked hilarious in that apron though." he said as he turned away slightly with his eyes lost in the memory of Sandre in a cooking class. "I would almost believe that his scowl while he was in the class alone would have cooked that food."

 

He didnt mention how many other guards were now taking classes of their own in hopes of attracting the attention of a woman like Edana.

 

Edana blinked and sat back in her chair. How much had Sandre told his brother about her? He’d never mentioned his brothers except in passing, but the man across the table knew it all, from the cooking classes to the disastrous last time they’d been together. She stared at the wine like it was a venomous snake.

 

Her mouth worked, hunting for a response to something, anything…

 

She took a drink of her ale, instead, setting it gently back on the table. “I’m not sure what to say to all of that,” she said softly, looking down at her hands. “I knew Sandre had brothers, but I had no idea one of them was here. He mentioned telling you about the books, but…” Edana sighed and shrugged, leaning back in her chair. This man knew how badly she’d failed his brother, but he was treating her like… well, he was being friendly and that was the last thing she’d expected. “…I guess I thought you were further away than right across the barracks.”

 

She shrugged off the nagging guilt that still plagued her about that ugly night and fingered the straps on the tankard in her hand. “It seems Sandre’s told you quite a bit about me, but I know nothing of you. What brings you to the Tower? Apparently, it’s not the prospect of being in the service to an Aes Sedai, if you’re afraid they’ll bond you while you’re not looking.”

 

~Edana

Dante smiled. Sandre's exploits of doing things no one else would willingly do were well known was all. "Hes not told me much about you. He didnt know I was here for a time and I was able to watch. I know his habits though and taking a cooking class is not one of them. It was a matter of seeing him look at you that allowed me to put it all together. Hes never looked at anyone that way to my knowledge." He smiled with a look of triumph on his face as he leaned back again. "He mentioned you once in a letter home before I came and once before he left in case you didnt want to try your hand at the trade books."

 

The look of confusion on her face was one that he knew he had to get rid of were he to be friends with his brother's girl. "Im here because the Aes Sedai believe that an estate for a house like Kaldun would work in their favor. They offered a summer home to the house here in Tar Valon at a rather decent price in exchange that the males of the house be trained in the Tower." he shook his head. "My father says too decent of a price. He believes the family secret is out." Seeing the look on her face was still confused he shook his head and finished off his glass of wine before pouring another. "He hasnt told you that has he? That sounds like Sandre to wait until hes back. Never the impulsive type unless it comes to you but this time he was smart to wait. If hes doesnt come back your memories of him will be happy at least."

Edana tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, her self-directed thoughts derailed by her curiosity. The Tower actually bartered for these boys to be trained here? Or was it the family that bartered the boys in payment? "You realize, of course, that I am not letting you out of this tavern until you've explained all of that to my satisfaction, right?"

 

She leaned over the table. "Was it your father's will that you be trained here? Or was it the Aes Sedai's offer? Why wouldn't Sandre tell me? Why did you hide from him?" She'd never have hidden from her brothers. That is, if this had occurred before that ugly fight in Caemlyn. Since then... "Are the pair of you on good terms?"

 

Her thoughts were as scattered as her questions, but she had to have answers to them. Besides, it had been nearly a year since she heard from Sandre. There hadn't even been a letter to tell her he'd made it in one piece! She was starved for information and poor Dante was bound to pay the price for it. She'd have to buy him another... spiced wine?

 

~Edana

Sandre raised an eye at Edana. (Strong woman... you will need to be strong for him or you will hold him back.) he thought. "It was not our father's will... quite the opposite actually. The founder of the house instructed us to avoid Aes Sedai or that we would be pulled to the Tower." Dante took a couple long swallows of the spiced wine and set the tankard down.

 

"Just before the Trolloc wars a very powerful green Aes Sedai was in the borderlands. There she met a Blacksmith with an unusual ability to remember everything he had seen or experienced. To her amazement she found his father and his brother shared the same gift... or curse depending on how your life goes I suppose." He thought about it for a moment before he continued. "Those two were going to return to the Tower as Warder and Aes Sedai until they noticed this trend of Warders set up with the descendants of Aes Sedai during those wars or with the families of other Warders... it disgusted them... though its natural for two people in the same profession to tend to want to be together at times, this seemed almost deliberate. It was enough for them to fake their deaths and hide. However she feared that one day the house as a whole would be pulled to the Tower again. Seems she was right."

 

He wasnt sure if Edana felt he was bragging or not. He hoped not. "He didnt mean any ill will by not telling you. Just that likely any kids you have would be caught in the same snare. Daughters who will channel and sons who will remember every ounce of pain ever inflicted on them in great detail and always as fresh in their minds as the moment it happened."

 

Through a half swallow he nearly choked on he finished "We are not on bad terms him and I. Sandre feels he betrayed his house and lives with the guilt of it. Hes disconnected from me because I am a painful reminder of that guilt. You are healing him from it all. The changes in him show me that." He raised his tankard a moment as though toasting to her before he took another long drink and refilled the tankard. He would need to order another one soon. "I hid out because I didnt want to hurt him."

Edana listened, absorbing every detail. She'd analyze them further when she had time to sit and think about them. For now, she had to shake her head. "The Tower's snare cannot break free will, Dante. Should the day come when you brother and I bring another Kaldun into this world, the child will be born without the stigma of a curse like that one on it's head."

 

She stopped and looked down at her drink. Had she just given voice to the thought of children? She had to laugh at herself, her head shaking again.  "Like as not, your brother will have done with me soon enough." She waved her hand to swat away whatever argument he was about to offer on behalf of his brother. She had no doubt he respected his brother, so the argument to protect that would surely be forthcoming. "So, why are you here, Dante? I understand the whole 'family curse' thing, but why did you not fight it and do what you'd rather be doing, instead? Your other brother has been successful enough at it, has he not?"

 

~Edana

Dante gave it some thought. He wasnt sure if he would offend her by saying family first but he couldnt see any other way. Maybe the fact that he had called her family earlier would help. "Family first Edana... They made a mutually beneficial agreement with father and eldest. This is better than running the merchant train so... here I am."

 

He stopped to grin at a tavern maiden who came over with another bottle and another glass. He tipped her... quite well and this time poured a glass for both of them.

 

"Why the White Tower? There are plenty of other places."

Edana dropped her eyes at his words, her gaze focusing on the drink in her hand. She still hadn't finished it and she'd had it for a while, now. She was avoiding the thoughts that taunted her and she knew it. Where was the line between "family first" and "looking out for yourself?" Had she crossed that line or had her brothers? It was a lot to think about.

 

"Why the White Tower? There are plenty of other places."

 

Edana smiled and looked back up at Dante. "I was a merchant's guard for a little over a year after I left Caemlyn. It was a pretty boring job, to be truthful, but I just needed something to do, somewhere to be. The last train I was helping guard was attacked on its way to Tear. I'm not sure what the bandits were after, but they didn't get it that time. Somewhere around one of them sinking a blade in my thigh, I realized that I didn't actually care if the whole merchant train was pillaged. I cared if the people were harmed, but the things in the carts..." she shrugged and smiled. "I left that train the next morning, with a bloody bandage on my thigh and my blade newly gleaming from the all night scrubbing it took to clean the blood off of it. I stopped in a little town, I'm not even sure where that town was. They were talking about a man who'd come through the day before on his way to Tar Valon to train with the warders. They told grand stories, but I was old enough to ignore most of that. What drew my attention was the way they talked about the Warders. It was respectful, almost reverent. They made the Guild sound like a secret society, where people were accepted and trained to be the best fighters they could be. That kind of thing can't exist if the people involved weren't dedicated to their cause, right?"

 

Edana paused and lifted her eyes to his. "I needed a reason to be alive, something to live for. With my family in tatters and my future looking like a long string of merchant trains, I decided I didn't have anything to lose by trying to make a go of it here." She smiled softly. "It's the best decision I think I've ever made."

 

Not just because she'd found a place to belong, a purpose to stand behind. No, it was so much more than that. She'd found acceptance in the one way she'd never thought possible. And his little brother was sitting right across the table from her.

 

 

~Edana

Dante had always admired the glow of a happy woman. He had never been in love himself. Yet he knew the look of those who were and Edana and Sandre both had that glow. "Well we are glad you are here Edana. Sandre wouldnt be fit to live around if you werent." With a small salute he downed half the tankard. That was one to drink to.

 

"Ive never seen him smile much until he got here. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him I think. I just hope your feelings for him are as serious as his are for you." The look on Dante's face was one that was very much not playing around. He wasnt sure Sandre would survive losing her. She had made her way too far into the man's heart. Now she was a danger to him.

 

 

Edana read the look in Dante's eyes and sighed inwardly. "I've never been in love," she said softly. "I'm a bumbling idiot at it and I've hurt him far more than he deserves." She shook her head and watched the liquid in her glass dance. He'd hurt her quite a bit by rejecting her the first day they'd met. She'd been afraid of him, afraid of the things she was already feeling for a man she'd only just met. Yes, she'd been running, but... who wouldn't be?

 

She looked up at Dante, though, pinning him with her gaze, returning his serious expression with one of her own. "I will make you this promise, Dante. If it is within my power not to hurt him, then he'll not shed another tear over me. If it's not in my power, I'll destroy whoever took that away from me, then spend a good bit of my life making it up to him." She raised her tankard and her eyebrows. "Is that enough to let you trust me with you brother's heart?"

 

~Edana

Dante nodded slowly and his smile returned. "Welcome to the family Edana." He decided to let that sink in while he dove back into his tankard. He didnt have to work tomorrow so he was determined to go home with a buzz. Probably some company too had they not all been chased away. (Aw well... will just need to lay on some charm... at a different tavern.)

 

"How are those books working out for you by the way? I never had the mind for trading. My older brothers yes but I never was one for planning so far ahead. My oldest sees it as a way to advance the family in the graces of nobles and Aes Sedai, Middle brother sees it as a battle field to stay sharp with, I just never had the mind for it... I like to create things with my hands."

 

He pulled off the pin holding his cloak on, pure brilliant gold designed to look like a small shield with the lion and anvil coat of arms of his house on it and laid it on the table.

 

"I will make you one as a wedding gift... I suppose he hasnt told you about the wedding rituals either has he?" of course he hadnt. Sandre would be too embarrassed. Dante was going to enjoy this.

Edana sighed, shaking her head. "I've no head for books, either. I pray your brother doesn't throttle me for the mess I've made of them." She looked down at the pin resting on the table. "It's beautiful! You made this, truly?"

 

She picked up the pin, tracing the pattern of the coat of arms before setting it back down on the table. That's about the point when his words sank in. Her cheeks flamed and she looked away. "We haven't talked of weddings, at all," she murmured. In truth, she had only ever thought of marriage in the most humorous of tones. What had she to offer a husband? She shook her head, lifting her eyes to see Dante's obvious pleasure. "I'm not a woman like you'd expect," she said, her eyes moving to a beautiful red head just over his shoulder. She wore a dress and corset that accented her beautiful body, with her hair artfully arranged to draw the eye down to her full, red lips. "That is a woman. She's comfortable with herself, understands what is expected and follows through. When she finds a husband, she will see to his needs, his house, his children."

 

Edana sighed and held her hands out on either side of her. She'd cleaned up before leaving the Tower grounds, but there was still dirt under her nails and her hair was pulled back into a simple braid that hung down her back. "I am not marriage material, Dante. I've no interest in cleaning or raising children. I've no place tending to a house. My life is this," she pulled a small throwing knife from her vambraces and laid it on the table. "There is little time for children when this is your duty, your station in life."

 

Why did she feel bad about that?

 

~Edana

Dante raised and eyebrow and eyed her like she was out of her mind. "If you didnt have any interest in marriage you wouldnt look like someone just kicked your puppy." He was going to need something harder for this one. However he had already lost count of how many tankards of wine he had gone through. "So you think thats a woman? Do you think she would fight if her kids were in danger? If she tried she would die. Have you seen Sandre's room? Does he look like he needs someone to clean for him? You dont think your cut out for it yet what you got is probably the easiest man to please. A little affection, a little intimacy and hes as happy as a kid with candy." Motioning to the red head he continued. "Red here would be jealous."

 

He reached for the bottle. To the pit with the tankard. This wasnt his job, but Sandre wasnt confident enough around her to speak like a normal human being. The poor guy turned to putty. Not that he could blame him.

 

"You will just have to wait to see if he has a braid when he gets back. If he does, then hes telling you that hes willing to give himself to you. I know Andoran customs are a bit different with houses and their games but in Shienar marriage is a serious thing. Be sure he is what you want Edana. If hes not he needs to know. If he is then you need to find the courage to make these dreams you do not think you are cut out for come true."

Edana shook her head, her eyes on the knife resting on the table. "You don't understand, Dante. I doubt even Shienarian wives are different in their roles around the household. Cleaning doesn't concern me, nor does cooking. Those I can handle. I did it for my brothers for most of my life." She sighed and sat back. How could she make him understand this?

 

"I dream of blood, of duty, of sacrifice. My life has been dedicated to those principles since the day I picked up my father's sword when I was two. I've been trained to be a solider, to set aside the things I want and accept the duty I've been trained for. To do anything less is selfish and callous." She sighed heavily. "Affection I can do. Intimacy is none of your business, brother or not!" She paused and felt the corner of her lip lifting. "You always want what you can't have, isn't that the way it goes? The Last Battle is coming and while I have no grand illusions that I can turn the tide of the war myself, my blade being among the many may be enough to start the push. That is my place in this world. I exist only for that purpose."

 

She took a drink and shook her head slowly, her smile fading. "I don't have dreams, Dante. I can't see past the morning sun rising a day ahead of me. Every spare moment I have, I plan to devote to making your brother smile. That's the only little luxury I can afford."

 

~Edana

(This woman is just bloody determined to get herself killed.)"Hypothetically... what if what you want is not what the creator wants and what is weaved for you in the pattern? I have no doubt that you will both be there but under what conditions is another matter. Duty calls you both. Should that be your last battle and as you lay dieing in his arms would you rather it be just as someone who kept him happy or as Edana Kaldun whom exchanged part of her soul to live forever in lifetimes to come through him?"

 

He took another swig and leaned back. The music was starting to sound good so the buzz had to be kicking in. He threw his arm over the top of the chair.

 

"If the creator had wanted you to be just a warrior you would be a man and his friend.... but if you are so afraid to live that you will pray for Tarmon Gaidon to come so you can die... so be it."

 

He hated to see wasted potential. (She would look better with a smile.) the thought brought the image of another woman to his head. One whom baffled him and for whom he was here now trying to get drunk enough to forget in the arms of another woman for awhile.

 

"You want to run from him dont you? Yet you feel you are too selfish to let him go? You feel you are a burden on him? On his life? You feel you are holding him back?"

 

He didnt give her a chance to answer. He felt he was right. "Wake up Edana. You both can run because you give each other the strength to run, you are not selfish but you are answering that feeling that tugs on your heart in his direction just as he is being pushed towards you, a little more willingly on his part it seems. You are not a burden on him yet you both set each other free of your burdens, you give each others lives meaning and lastly I dont feel that either of you will let the other be held back. Look him in the eyes when he comes home and if you dont believe me you can call me a liar."

 

He went to take a triumphant swig... but the bottle was empty... he frowned at it wondering where it went. (Surely I spilled it.) then ordered another

Edana shook her head and had to laugh, at that. "I don't know, Dante," she said. "The Wheel wills as the wheel will and I follow whichever path it leads me on. Do I feel like I'm being selfish? Absolutely. I'd be willing to bet the woman you're trying to drink away would, too. Let me ask you this, Dante, if she were in danger right now, what good would you be to her?" She eyed the fresh bottle the barmaid set on the table and then looked up at him. "I don't want to be that kind of liability; not to your brother, not the Tower, not to any Aes Sedai unlucky enough to have chosen to bond me."

 

She paused and smirked, glad to be able to direct this away from herself for a few minutes. What was it with this family that made her feel like she had to bare her soul and lay her heart open like a steak until they were satisfied with what they saw? "What is she to you? Can't be much more than an acquaintance, though a rather troublesome one if the rate at which you're downing liquor is any indication. Does she mean so little that finding solace elsewhere will fill the ache she left you with?"

 

~Edana

"She is nothing to me." he said staring at the bottle as he swirled the liquid inside around. With a laugh he added. "Or she wants to be nothing? She hates me and I... cant stop thinking about her. Neither can my best friend I think. Nor can she stop thinking about him as well I suspect. Yet for all the thinking the three of us are doing she has asked me... very close to demanded I bond her for reasons she wont tell me... and she didnt seem happy about it either."

 

He looked up as the room swayed slightly and took another drink. The tavern maid came over again even though he had just started and he laid some coins on her tray. He didnt look to see what they were but the light in her eyes said it was enough. "Something harder please." Perhaps a little more than a buzz...

 

"I am drinking to forget and if something happens to her Visar is closer anyways."

Edana smirked, watching him get deeper in his cups. The bar maid was grinning when she left, but made many trips back to check to see if they needed anything else. "Aes Sedai seem to need little reason to do most of the things they do," she shrugged. "I can't believe, however, that she'd demand a bond, nay even ask for one, from someone she hated."

 

She waited for that to sink in a moment, toying with her mug. "I've heard it said that love is akin to hate. I can tell you that there were months when I hated your brother. They were dark and bitter months, those. I would that you could skip those, if it's your will." She set her mug aside, it was empty anyhow. She couldn't leave, though. Not with him in this mess of a state. She doubted he could even see her clearly, anymore. "Tell me, when you think about her... what do you think about?"

 

~Edana

Dante gazed off a moment. Considering it. He didnt need to think of his answer he just found it amusing that it was hard to think.

 

"Making her smile... shes always so sad." he said

 

The mug of... whatever it was, he couldnt taste it... didnt last long as that painful notion set into his head and he turned back for the bottle of wine. Talking about her was strangely sobering. He hated it.

 

"I dreamed about her before I met her. Met her the next day. Tried to repeat the dream. It was a disaster. I could walk away. Tried... to walk away and she pulled me back. She does hate me. More than any man whos woman looked at me in a way she shouldnt, more than any man I ever fought."

 

"They say the best way to get over a woman..." he said as the bar maid serving his drinks gave him a look that told him who he would be waking up next to should he pass out. "Is to get on another one... who am I kidding though? I was never like that... I have to get drunk to try to be."

Edana rolled her eyes, laughter erupting from her lips. "So, let me see if I have this right. The best way to get over one person is to find another one to bury your thoughts on? What happens when you can't get the first one off your mind while you're with the second?"

 

She smiled at the barmaid and nodded. She knew the girl and if Dante wanted to bury his obsession with this Aes Sedai for the evening, at least the bar maid was cheerful enough to understand it when the morning brought his headache and blubbering. "You, my dear, are headed for a headache, a heart ache and, Light forbid, a life filled with fighting what you know is the truth. They said you can feel what your Aes Sedai feels when you're bonded to them. Is that a chance you really want to take with someone you believe hates you?"

 

Edana stood up, which drew the barmaid over. It was as if she'd thrown the girl a signal. Perhaps she had. She smiled at the girl again and looked down at Dante. "Enjoy your evening, Dante. I pray you find your answers before you get hurt more than need be." She nodded slowly, blowing him a kiss for the sake of the girls she'd scared off earlier. "I'll see you around. Keep me posted about this Aes Sedai of yours. I'm sure it will make family reunions interesting." She laughed as she turned and headed for the door.

 

~Edana

bump