OOC: Mini is red and I am Blue

 

Devrion’s creation whirled consistently, unfaltering. Saline leaned in for a better look. “Small wonder you’re feeling good. It’s very neatly tied; your weave remains even after you release Saidar. Now, a globe of light can be used in various ways,” she demonstrated, then turned to her student “Isn’t that just the coolest?”

It took Saline a moment or two to realize the girl was no longer listening. When she sensed that Devrion was holding the power the Aes Sedai demanded: “. . . Why are you tapping the source without permission?”

“It feels so good inside,” Devrion told her. Her smile was beatifically drunken, but her eyes were lit with more joy than any wine could possibly give. Infatuation shone there, as unmistakable as the glow washing over her now clasped hands, illuminating her entire frame . . . She was flying!

“Devrion! Devrion, you’ve got to close yourself from the Source!“  Saline was very alarmed, as any amount of shouting failed to rouse the girl from her self-induced stupor. So she did the next best thing. She punched the unsuspecting girl easily on the nose. It worked marvellously, as the physical pain broke any concentration Devrion placed into maintaining her tremulous connection with the Source.

“Owee” Devrion complained, upon finding herself catapulted back into the world, on the ground, staring into at a furious Saline . . . her friend and teacher, had punched her. The smile faded from the novice’s face. “You hit me.”

“Yes, I did and any sympathy I might have had dried up the moment you decided to venture into Saidar without any purpose, after we warned you again and again!”

“Saline, I can’t help it . . . It makes me feel so-“

“Good?” Saline’s tone was scathing, “I cannot believe how irresponsible you are being. You could have burnt out. And you could have killed us both, Devrion. I have no desire to have what little remains of my body scattered on the grass because a selfish dullard cannot help but grab greedily at whatever takes her fancy. In fact, I will no longer teach you because you’re endangering both of us.”

 

That struck a nerve. Why in the Thirteen’s names had she thought this . . . lightfool of a woman would be a suitable teacher to use? Devrion tried to get up as she said rather coolly “you had no right to hit me, Saline Wastrel. Never have I given my word to obey you in everything you want me to do, when or where you wanted just to fulfill your own agenda. How can you order me around, chastise me and hurt me when you promised to help me?”

Saline cut in again. “I’m not doing this to be contrary, Devrion. Do you suppose I want to order you around because I love to abuse power? Because authority over novices is a turn on? Or is disobeying the Sisters a choice to you?”

The vestiges of nobility in Devrion swayed with her newfound desire for company “truth be told, I thought you were my friend, that you treated me like a person. Now I see you’re just like the other Aes-“

“Wow, you still don’t get it do you? It’s not about other sisters treating you as a child, or my being friendly. Gah! It’s genuinely frustrating when-"

“Now look here, I know my limits. I would have stopped in good time” protested Devrion, feeling as though she were losing ground and almost believing Saline’s side of the story. But the woman had punched her . . .

 

“Wrong. You don’t know and you won’t stop” Saline blurted “Did you have any idea how terrified I was, seeing you that way? Let me tell you then, I was scared out of my wits when you did not move or seem to listen, you were standing yet not ‘present’ as you turned entirely to Saidar. You say you could have beaten this thing, which I suppose would make you better than Taei Mirel? She was one of the best and the brightest, and wanted to be a Brown so bad . . . but she died all the same in the testing because she wasn’t steadfast enough. I was there to see her best friend fall into pieces, because she had encouraged Taei to enter prematurely when the other was not ready. Because of Taei I refused my arches twice, and tried to run away from the Tower. But even had I been successful in running away; I could not run from myself, or the temptation to tap into the Source. Even taintless, it will catch you unawares and destroy you. The only way to protect yourself, if you want to live regardless of whether or no you’d attain the shawl, is through discipline. But you won’t listen would you, when I tell you to stop in order to save your hide? Rather you fancy you could ride Saidar out without the proper mindset, as though it’s all a game somehow. That you think just because people pay attention to you that nobody ever dies in the Tower, filled to the rafters with Aes Sedai because you cannot believe Saidar. Is. Very. Very. Very. Dangerous. Had I not been around, had I not paid attention, had your touch not been strong enough a connection when I reacted, things would have turned out quite differently to-day. You’d not be here to back-sass at all!”

 

Devrion went quiet, letting Saline’s words pierce into her chest. She was breathless at what she could have done. Devrion did not mean to almost - kill them both. It simply would not do. The Great Lord has no tolerance for incompetence. And even though it took a great deal to swallow her pride after being punched she said bravely, perhaps stupidly “I came to learn control . . .”

 

“And you can start by asking no more of me. Until you have control over yourself, I’m not teaching you anything. A proper punishment would have been to ban you indefinitely from Saidar until you know better but seeing how I am neither Larindha Sedai nor Claire-”

 

“Ban!” Devrion was alarmed. Losing Saline as a teacher was bad enough, but never to feel that ecstasy again . . . Saline wouldn’t would she?

As though Saline read her mind she smiled crookedly “don’t worry, I can’t be bothered to tell your mentor. It’s up to you. I clean my hands of you-“

“As you did your friend Rory?” The moment those hateful words were voiced Devrion wanted to gobble them back down again, but it was too late. Saline’s face took on a pale intense light but for the first time in the lesson she said nothing. There seemed nothing more for the Aes Sedai to say. Devrion knew she overstepped something dire but did not know how to word her apologies. The whole situation was so darn distressing; why did Saline have to be so mean with her words in the first place?

“I got it,” she said regrettably, “I won’t let this happen again Saline.”

“Let’s hope so.” The Aes Sedai said heavily.

Saline left the lessons to seek her room and Devrion was suddenly alone in the garden. No teacher. No friend. No Saidar.

Suddenly everything she wanted but could not have, through a loss of self, washed over her.

Devrion Olgeer, novice to the white tower, follower of the great lord of the dark, had her world shaken today.

I am much too strong for this. Some self important, overly pompous, twit of an aes sedai means nothing to me, I am Devrion Olgeer. The blatant lie fell flat in Devrion’s head. A childish mistake, and a few heated words might cost her, her only friend. Devrion walked to her room, holding a precarious grip to her outward calm. Holding on to her icy detachment was all Devrion could muster with the recent shell shock. She moved very numbly, and sat down hard on the rickety stool. Luckily her roommates were not in at the moment. Why do I always do the wrong thing. What use could the great lord have for a self pitying worthless thing like me. Devrion began to rock back and forward holding her convulsing chest. She tried to cry, but crying seemed one ability Devrion could not do . . .

 

A few days later saw Devrion, mustering up her courage and walking to Saline’s room. A place she had avoided assiduously for the last half week while she tried to Sort. Things. Out. What went through her mind had not been altogether pleasant, no ma'am.

 

Devrion did not bother with knocking, the Aes Sedai would probably not have allowed her admission if she knew Devrion was at the door. Devrion walked in and found Saline’s back. Saline was facing out, staring at the scenery of Tar Valon, and the surrounding countryside. Devrion cleared her throat, and when Saline turned to look, tears began to slide down Devrion’s face.

 

Saline felt empty, she thought she was getting through and helping Devrion. But she had to ignore Devrion in order to do her good, for the past half week. Looking back on her novice days Saline knew having a friend made everything easier. Yet when Devrion mentioned Rory, it struck a tender spot. Saline turned at the sound of a cough, and she saw Devrion standing there. Saline was torn she wanted to hold the child and comfort her, yet she also wanted to slap her.

Devrion looked at Saline’s face and she said, “I know you don’t want to see me now, and probably not for a while, but I want you to know I can not bear to lose a friend. Saline I appreciate your help, and if you chose to revoke that is fine, but I want us to remain friends. Saline, I have made a grave mistake, and I hope it does not cost me to greatly. Say you will forgive me, I am truly sorry."

 

Saline was shocked by the outflow of emotion from this reserved, usually cool young woman. One look at Devrion's pale, thin face and instinctively she reached into her sleeve, withdrawing the handkerchief there. "Wipe," she said, handing over the one token of comfort she had given Davrion since their lesson "if apologies were enough, what need have we for guards?"

 

When Davrion seemed calm enough to speak Saline said "how did you reach this decision? What has been churning in your mind the last week?"

Devrion wanted to tell Saline everything, from when she tried to embrace the source and found it, but with a veil over it. The joyousness was diminished by far. She wanted to tell her that she tried her calming exercise and everytime she started the dance she faltered. She wanted to scream at this woman that she felt hollow, and besides from the great lord, Saline’s friendship was just about the only thing that kept her strong in this tower of strangers. But she said none of these things. Devrion searched the deep dark corners of her mind, on exactly why she was the person she was, and what caused her to cling to the first friend she had found, but she received no answer. She howled at her mined, but quietness was the only thing answered her.

 

“Saline…,” Devrion started with a slight pause, “I have been in a fog since our last meeting. I miss our discussions, and just being around you. You are like the first ray of sunshine that has penetrated this great cloud of anonymity that is this great white tower. I find myself passing your door, without realizing where my feet have taken me. So I know deep down inside, that I need your friendship.”

 

Devrion paused and looked at the emotions creeping across Saline’s face before she continued. “When I knew that I must see you immediately however, was when I was studying in my room, trying to concentrate on a book I got from the library, but I kept rereading this.”

 

Devrion reached behind her back and revealed Rory’s book. “I was so mad at you having me clean up your stuff that I took the first thing I could find. I know this is probably the worst apology ever, but I never said I was going to be the best friend, the best channeler, or the best anything for that matter. So I leave myself, our friendship, and my punishment in your hands.”

 

As Saline was giving her one of those unreadable yet studying looks that Aes Sedai seemed to have readily in their arsenal Devrion couldn't help shaking visibly. She had not even tried to match Saline's scrutiny with a returned gaze. Her dramatic efforts had left her weak. She didn't know if Saline suffer in the same way, but with her the very act of confessing anything in the nature of feelings or secrets always induced a sort of prickly sensation and this hideous feeling of shame, together with a marked starting of goosebumps. After years of pushing people who might have once cared for her away, she was asking Saline to judge her . . . and she daren't think what the other would have done if Devrion's affiliations with the Great Lord of the Dark were known. Keeping the thought small she clenched her fists until she shouldn't wonder if the knuckles did not whiten under the strain. Her aspect was that of a girl who was expecting something fairly strict or vengeful from Saline.

 

Then, when it seemed as if Saline would never stop staring, she did. Rather than to clip Devrion on the ear or any such action, Saline turned aside once again to stare outside. The sunlit gardens began to give way to various shades of twilight. Through the open window came the aroma of those wonderful white flowers which only start to put in their heavy work at the start of nightfall. The landscape held a sombre stillness as all around the lights began to fade.

 

Saline stood drinking it in for a spell, and then the last of the sunshine vanished entirely, and this seemed to break the trance.

 

"Devrion, please note that this is not punishment for stealing Rory's book. It is meant to be yours still. Thank you for letting me know it is safely with you. But," she said, unnecessarily forestalling any argument with her hand up "I need some time to be left by myself before I can forgive."

 

There was a rather longish pause. Then Devrion realized a reply was warranted.

 

"I understand," she said quickly, setting the book she no longer deserved on Saline's desk and wishing Saline did not have to look at her in that divinely pitying look.

 

"I wish I could," murmurred Saline.

 

Devrion understood why Saline could not forgive her just yet. All the same she had to add: "sorry."

 

"I know you are . . ." Saline made a noise like air escaping from a rubber ducky in the tub, "I don't know what else to say, Devrion."

 

Later in bed, when her roommate was asleep, Devrion reflected on the latest development that had occurred. Her pillow seemed less full, even though she had plumped it thoroughly without Rory's book, but there was no way she could have left with Saline's gift when Saline was still mad at her. Saline's reaction had been fair enough. Of course, it was not ideal. She hoped they could be back to where they were, but knew their friendship would take work. Her only comfort for that night was knowing what she wanted, and the extent to which she would go to achieve her goals. Her mind made up, sleep overtook her for the first time in a while.

 

One week passed. Then another four days later . . .

 

Catching up to Devrion near the classrooms Saline tapped the girl on one shoulder above her bookbag.

 

The Red Sister hoisted her own basket higher on her arm as she greeted. "Hey."

 

"Hi, Saline."

 

"Not interrupting, I hope?" Saline was smiling.

 

Devrion replied hastily "no, no was just coming from Intro with Claire."

 

"Grand, I have a new trick to show you."

 

At this point, as Devrion paced demurrly behind Saline, the situation lagged a little. It was inevitable. Saline was never at her best when it came to confrontations, although the girl had done more good than harm.

 

Once in the gardens Saline perched in the same spot she had weeks ago, before their argument. It was as though things were as they had been before. "This is a Keeping" she said, demonstrating the threads of Spirit, then began to rummage around for something in her basket as she told Devrion. "It wards off rot from grains and preserves pretty flowers. Try it on the rose."

 

Seeing Devrion tie the thread properly and release the source immediately afterward, Saline smiled, "your weave has set properly; yes even the dew on its petals will remain for some time. I know Saidar is addictive the more you wield it, but I see now you've learnt more about your role in its working."

 

"Also, you forgot this last time." Saline had found what she was looking for, tossing Devrion the book which had once been gifted her by her best friend Rory.

 

Catching the book, Devrion felt that same hideous sensation of shame and uneasiness that innundated her earlier.

 

"Saline I have a question. Why are you doing this?"

 

"I gave my word to help." Came the solemn reply as Saline packed up her basket. "Quit yabbering and help me carry this!"

 

Devrion could not resist a look inside the basket the other thrust into her arms. Upon seeing the embroidery she laughed. Saline might be a good cook, but her stitches were awful.

 

Saline heard Devrion's laugh and was happier for it. She had not heard such merriment in quite some time even if it were at her expense. Being laughed at was something she had become familiar with, seeing how some of her older Sisters preferred to be distanced. She'd rather call a novice her friend if it would help the girl, especially since it was good for Saline too. She understood Devrion's feelings . . . she had done a much greater wrong by Rory, and hoped her own sins could be absolved as well. Only Saline had said she'd be the best friend in Rory's case. Her eyes moistened, but she did not notice the tears falling until Devrion cut in.

 

"Lend you a handkerchief, Saline? I've beginning to carry these around when I notice there's usually not a dry stitch left in my presence."

 

"Haha, thanks I'm quite alright."

 

Devrion gestured playfully, "wish I were alright. This basket is really heavy, hmfh." Devrion wished things could remain how they were in that moment. Yet she knew change as inevitable, as the wheel turned and ages pass change must come. It was a sobering thought, yet Devrion knew it to be truth, and a silent gloom began to situate itself behind her eyes.