“You come in ignorance, Esther Tremaine. How would you depart?”

“In knowledge of myself.”

“For what reason have you been summoned here?”

“To be tried.”

  “For what reason should you be tried?”

“So that I may learn whether I am worthy.”

“For what would you be found worthy?”

“To wear the shawl.”

 

No hesitation. I must show no hesitation. Esther clung to that thought as her fingers calmly undid the buttons on her banded dress. Once she had looked forward eagerly to this moment. Once she had thought she would face it with no fear or trepidation. She had gone through the Arches since then. They whispered that the Arches were but a slightly bad dream, compared to what happened in the Ring. She lifted the dress over her head and folded it neatly, followed by her shift. Both were placed on top of her white slippers and her belt pouch. Her face was smooth, but unlike her normal placid expression, this smoothness was through effort of will.

 

“Therefore I will instruct you. You will see this sign upon the ground,” Pia channelled, drawing a six pointed star with her finger in the air in front of Esther. A weave touched the back of her head, almost making Esther jump. There had been no mention of this! She tried to put it out of her mind.

 

“Remember what must be remembered,” someone intoned softly behind her. That voice kept intoning the same words at intervals, as the Mistress of Novices gave her instructions.

 

“When you see that sign, you will go to it immediately, at a steady pace, neither hurrying nor hanging back, and only then may you embrace the Power. The weaving required must begin immediately, and you may not leave that sign until it is completed.”

 

“Remember what must be remembered.”

 

“When the weave is complete, you will see that sign again, marking the way you must go, again at a steady pace, without hesitation.”

 

“Remember what must be remembered.”

 

“One hundred times will you weave, in the order you have been given and in perfect composure.”

 

“Remember what must be remembered.”

 

Whatever the woman behind her had been Weaving settled into Esther, almost like the Healing weave. Logically, an Aes Sedai would do nothing to harm her now. Esther sincerely hoped her logic was correct. All the Aes Sedai except Pia moved to kneel around the Ring and started channelling something incredibly complex at it. Esther ignored the whirling kaleidoscope as she removed her Great Serpent ring, adding it to the neat pile of clothes just as the opening of the Ring turned a blinding white. Without hesitation, Esther stepped through it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

One Hundred weaves performed. With a weary tread but her head held high, Esther limped towards yet another archway marked by the six pointed star.  Her clothes hung in tatters, half her chest exposed where a Myrdhraal had ripped her dress, scratching her breasts in the process.  She had long since ceased blushing at being naked. She could not remember much, but she recalled fiery blushes she could not repress, though no other emotion had shown on her face. Somehow she knew that it was essential not to show any further discomfort. Besides, modestly hardly seemed important when you were fighting for your life. She recalled something like that hazily too. Fighting for her life, that is. Somehow she was sure it had happened more than once, though she could not recall the details.

 

She stepped through the archway, into a round domed room seemingly filled with Aes Sedai. What would she have to do this time? But no – memory flooded back. She could recall each of the one hundred useless weaves she had performed, most of the dangers she had faced, though sheer tiredness blurred some of them together. Esther blinked wearily as the Mistress of Novices clapped her hands together loudly and spoke.

 

“It is done. Let no one ever speak of what has passed here. It is for us to share in silence with she who experienced it. It is done.” She clapped her hands again. “Esther Tremaine, you will spend tonight in prayer and contemplation of the burdens you will take up on the morrow, when you don the shawl of an Aes Sedai. It is done.” For a third time she clapped her hands, then abruptly turned and left the room.

 

The remaining Sisters clustered around Esther, their faces a blur to her. The icy feeling of Healing swept over and through her body, and some of her tiredness receded along with her injuries. They handed her the carefully folded bundle of clothes and chatted away as Esther redressed herself. It was dawning on her that she had succeeded. In a few short hours, she would have her shawl and be one of these women. Did she deserve it, though?  Sure, she hadn’t lost her composure, but look at the injuries she had sustained!

 

“Do I really have what it takes to be an Aes Sedai? Would a true Sister not have dealt better with those attacks? That last one …“  Esther shuddered, recalling. She hadn’t realised she’d spoken out loud until one of the women, a Green who’s name she couldn’t recall right then, replied somewhat sharply. “We had to test your mettle to the full, child.” One of the others sniffed loudly and adjusted her gray-fringed shawl with a sharp tug. “A whole fist of Trollocs, Daria? Led by a Fade to boot? And right at the end when her strength was almost gone??” The Green, Daria, tossed her head almost wilfully as she sniped back. “I doubt the child has ever been pushed to her full extent. How are we to know she won’t break, unless we test the limits of what she should be capable of?”

 

“And what Strength!” the other Green, a young woman who had been Accepted when Esther was a novice, murmured. “And to think it’s going to be wasted on the …” The older Green harrumphed loudly, though she directed a sour look towards the two Gray sisters, of all people. Esther stared at them all in puzzlement, and suddenly there was a flurry of adjusting shawls and not quite meeting of eyes, until two of the other Sisters hustled her out of the chamber and escorted her back towards her room.

 

The first thing that hit her was the mouth-watering smell of food. Her stomach growled loudly, and with barely a curtsy to the two Sisters she headed towards the cloth covered tray on her table. Within minutes she had devoured every crumb, then settled down to think whilst finishing off the rest of the tea. Something about the comments the Sisters had made and the embarrassed reactions tugged at her brain. It had something to do with her strength in the One Power, but it had been drummed into her very firmly that the matters was not even to be thought about. Why then had they brought it up?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dawn was just hinting when a firm knock on the door startled Esther out of her contemplations. She hurriedly straightened her banded dress and dragged a comb through her unruly hair, then took a deep breath and opened the door. Seven Sisters were waiting for her outside. Silently they closed around her and glided off, Esther plodding along with her usual dogged gate in the middle.

 

The Amyrlin and the Keeper awaited them at the door she had exited only hours before. Without a word being spoken, her escort lined up behind her.

 

“Who comes here,” the Amyrlin asked formally.

Esther’s voice was low and husky, but that was usual for her. “Esther Tremaine.”

“For what reason do you come.”

“To swear the three oaths and thereby claim the shawl of an Aes Sedai.”

“By what right do you claim this burden?”

“By right of having made the passage, submitting myself to the will of the White Tower.”

“Then enter, if you dare, and bind yourself to the White Tower.”

 

The Amyrlin moved to stand in behind the Ter’Angreal, framed by it, as the Keeper picked up a velvet pillow with the oath rod sitting upon it. The entire Hall lined one wall, along with one extra Sister from each Ajah.  Butterflies the size of Trollocs galloped around her stomach as Esther stepped through the Ter’Angreal and knelt in front of the Amyrlin.  Her hand closed around the Oath Rod, clutching it as the Amyrlin channelled a thin flow of Spirit into it.

 

“Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will speak no word that is not true.”

“Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will make no weapon for one man to kill another.”

“Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will never use the One Power as a weapon except against shadowspawn, or in the last extreme of defending my life, or that of my warder, or another sister.”

 

With each Oath, it felt as if her skin tightened another notch. It didn’t hurt, but it was hardly comfortable. By the end her voice was even more breathless than usual.

 

The Amyrlin spoke again. “It is half done, and the White Tower graven on your bones. Rise now, Aes Sedai, and choose your Ajah and all will be done that may be done under the Light.” Finger by finger Esther released her grip on the Oath Rod and rose, turning toward the Aes Sedai who lined the wall. Would her Ajah of choice accept her? She gulped, her eyes fixed on one sister in particular.

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Almost a Gray

It was impossible for Pia to repress the swelling of pride that swamped her as she watched the newest Aes Sedai declare her oaths under the light. Pride as the Mistress of Novices, witnessing the successful completion of training by an initiate, and pride as a sister of the Gray Ajah. For today, there was little doubt in any mind where the woman would turn. The sisters of each ajah determine quite early on who will be suitable for their ranks, and who should be guided elsewhere. Esther Tremaine showed great promise for the Grays, and so she had been subtly assessed and steered towards them during her years as novice and accepted. Even as confident as she was in Esther's choice, there was a moment of expectation as Esther looked around the hall of women. There had been a few women known to have surprised everyone, including her choice of ajah, with her selection. When Esther's eyes met and held Pia's however, it became abundantly clear that this was the newest Gray sister. A smile broke over her face and she nodded acceptance, as the youngest Gray stepped forward and draped a shawl of Gray about Esther's shoulders.

 

As the shawl fluttered to rest, the other Aes Sedai present slowly filed out of the room, leaving Esther with her new sisters. "Be welcome to the Gray Ajah, Esther Sedai." Pia smiled and moved closer to give Esther a warm hug. The rest of the ajah also gave their welcome, some with smiles and others with barely a look in her direction. It mattered nought. What mattered most would come that evening, when Esther was put on trial and her mettle tested as part of a secret Gray Ajah tradition. It would be a surprise for the child - no, young woman, now - but Pia was sure she would prove herself.

 

"Go with Lavinya now, she will tell you what you need to know, until we all meet to welcome you officially into our midst." With a parting smile, Pia followed the other women draped in their silvery scarves and left Esther in the hands of the youngest.

 

 

Pia Tovisen, Gray Ajah & MoN

 

 

 

Had she looked so nervous when she faced this audience? Lavinya could scarcely believe it, though she had been filled with apprehension. All their young lives they were taught and trained for their final testing, but little was told of them of what actually came after the great ceremony of taking their oaths and officially selecting their ajah. Lavinya gave a cool smile to Esther as she slid forward and elegantly draped the shawl of an Aes Sedai about her shoulders. A Gray shawl. Her lips brushed Esther's cheek ever so fleetingly in a kiss before she rose and stepped back. "Be welcome to the Gray Ajah." Esther looked ridiculously relieved to Lavinya's eyes. Had she really expected refusal? That had never happened in her lifetime, and she had been to many such raisings as these, for all different ajahs. Filling the place of the youngest had irked her somewhat, given that technically she wasn't the youngest Gray, just of those currently in the Tower. At least it would give her the opportunity to speak with Esther and decide just how much she would like this new sister, before the trial.

 

Waiting patiently as the rest of the Ajah made their niceties, the fiery redhead soon moved in again to take charge of Esther. She smiled to herself as the new Gray fingered her shawl, as though almost disbelieving it was hers to own. "Come along. I will answer any and all of your questions as best I can." Looping her arm with Esther's, Lavinya swept her from the large chamber and towards the Gray Ajah apartments. "Your rooms are being readied for you, I will take you there in a little while." Steering her down a corridor and up a flight of stairs, Lavinya halted in front of her own apartments. "Tea, I think, and questions. You must have many." She smiled in a friendly way and led the way into the airy rooms, taking a seat in a stuffed chair piled with cushions and pouring steaming tea with an elegant hand. Naturally, the entire Ajah was prepared for Esther's decision today. She passed a delicate porcelain cup to Esther before pouring for herself and settling back into the comfort of the chair. "How does it feel? To finally wear the shawl?"

 

 

Lavinya Morganen, Gray Ajah

At long last!!

Esther sighed in relief when she saw the smile blooming on Pia’s face. Hastily she looked at the other Grays too, but there was nothing but welcoming smiles.  Up until this moment, she had doubted that they would really accept her into the Ajah. She clutched the shawl Lavinya draped around her shoulders, still half expecting them to rip it off again and declare the whole thing a mistake. Each Gray stepped forward and embraced her warmly, though, welcoming her home.  Home.  Apart from being told that she could learn to Channel, Esther had never heard such sweet words.

 

In a daze Esther allowed Lavinya to lead her along. She hardly took in the words the woman was saying, so surprised was she by the fact that Lavinya had linked arms with her, as if they were … equals. I’m an Aes Sedai now, she thought with awe. She tried hard to display the same outward calm which she had so admired in the full sisters all these years, but as they reached the Gray quarters, she found it almost impossible not to curtsy to everyone in sight. Strangely, there wasn’t a novice or accepted to be seen, only sisters, all with smiles and murmured words of welcome. By the time she was seated in a plushy stuffed chair in Lavinya’s quarters, a cup of tea – poured and handed to her by the sister herself! –  in her hand, her eyes were shimmering from suppressed tears. Tears of joy.  Esther tried to pull herself together, and recall what the red-haired woman sitting across from her had asked. Questions … how does it feel …

 

“It feels … like an impossible dream come true, Lavinya Sedai.” Esther sipped at her tea, still nervously stroking the silvery fringe on her shawl. HER shawl. Abruptly she burst out: “Aes Sedai, the … Ajah does know that I’m not very good at negotiating, right? What I mean to say is that Pia Sedai said that there are Grays who serve as magistrates and the like, and that she thinks I would be good at that, but … “ she trailed off, not sure how to carry on.

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Gray Ajah – Not the negotiating type

 

*bump*