6396  -  I'll try... 

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Grr...Life sucks!  I hate how it takes me away from my spam!  How am I supposed to reach 10,700 posts by the end of Saturday if Life keeps interfering?

 

*Kills life*

 

Ah...it seems as if a great weight has lifted...oh, that was just my body.

 

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The internet: An infinite source of information.

 

Taken from Wikipedia.org:

 

Eating

 

In general terms, eating (formally, ingestion) is the process of consuming nutrition, i.e. food, for the purpose of providing for the nutritional needs of an animal, particularly their energy requirements and to grow. All animals must eat other organisms in order to survive: carnivores eat other animals, herbivores eat plants, and omnivores consume a mixture of both.

 

While the process of eating varies from species to species, in humans eating is performed by placing food in the mouth, chewing and then swallowing it. Eaten food is then digested.

 

Manners are an important aspect of social eating in almost all human societies.

 

Eating Practices

 

Many homes have a separate kitchen room or outside (in the tropics) kitchen area devoted to preparation of meals and food, and many also have a dining room or another designated area for eating. Dishware, silverware, drinkware for eating and cookware and other implements for cooking come in an almost infinite array of forms and sizes. Most societies also have restaurants and food vendors, so that people may eat when away from home, lack the time to prepare food, or wish to use eating as a social occasion. Occasionally, such as at potlucks and food festivals, eating is in fact the primary purpose of the social gathering.

 

Most individuals have fairly regular meals, formally known as daily patterns of eating, and commonly most eating occurs during two to three meals per day, with snacks consisting of smaller amounts of food being consumed in between. The issue of healthy eating has long been an important concern to individuals and cultures. Among other practices, fasting, dieting, and vegetarianism are all techniques employed by individuals and encouraged by societies to increase longevity and health. Some religions promote vegetarianism, considering it wrong to consume animals. Leading nutritionists believe that instead of indulging oneself in three large meals each day, it is much healthier and easier on the metabolism to eat five smaller meals each day (e.g. better digestion, easier on the lower intestine to deposit wastes; whereas larger meals are tougher on the digestive tract and may call for the use of laxatives)[citation needed]. However, psychiatrists with Yale Medical School have found that people who suffer from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and consume three meals per day weigh less than those who have more frequent meals. Eating can also be a way of making money (see competitive eating). Pie and sometimes cheese eating contests are one of these competitions. Sometimes people eat on picnics with family or friends.

 

It is an urban legend that eating fast will make you fat. Studies has disproved the theory that the body cannot keep up with the pace of the food going into the digestive tract, and thus will store the food that it cannot process as fats or energy stores. This is unscientific, as all food that enters via the mouth must pass through the entire digestive system and be broken down into simpler, usable forms that the body can make use of. However, since it takes time (up to 30 minutes) for the brain to get a signal from stomach that it is full, eating fast may cause someone to eat more thereby consuming more calories than if they ate slower, leading to weight gain.

 

Disorders

 

Physiologically, eating is generally triggered by hunger, but there are numerous physical and psychological conditions that can affect appetite and disrupt normal eating patterns. These include depression, food allergies, ingestion of certain chemicals, bulimia, anorexia nervosa, pituitary gland misfunction and other endocrine problems, and numerous other illnesses and eating disorders.

 

A chronic lack of nutritious food can cause various illnesses, and will eventually lead to starvation. When this happens in a locality on a massive scale it is considered a famine.

 

If eating and drinking is not possible, as is often the case when recovering from surgery, alternatives are enteral nutrition and parenteral nutrition.

 

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Gotta leave my mark somewhere...

 

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I would like a donut.

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Okay, people, I think we've done a great job here, yeah, but I think we can do better.  I challenge us to make it to Page 585 tomorrow!

 

Are you kidding me?  That's 608 posts!  Not including this one.

 

I said tomorrow!  That doesn't count today.  So, to make it even, lets get to Page 535 today.

 

That's still 600 posts.  We can't possibly do it!  We have trouble maintaining 50 posts a day!

 

Well, you never know until you try!

 

Hey, wait a sec...It's MY turn tomorrow!

 

Yes, and I have complete faith in you.

 

Son of a biscuit!

 

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It's times like these that I really wish I would have gone to Duck School.

 

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Hey, we've reached a milestone, please hold.

 

 

 

 

 

...What?!?

 

As reyler says, "Don't question the chaos, embrace it."

 

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If you touch me with a nail, I'll kill you!  I'll bury you in licorice, you S.o.B.!  Don't blink at me, do you hear me?  Don't blink at me!

 

Edit:  Edit!

 

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*Walks up to a tree*

 

So...how long you been here?

 

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"Don't piss on the moon, babe!"

 

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1)Toenails!

 

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2)Chihuahuas!

 

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3)Bottom of the Page!

 

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So, this is what air tastes like.

 

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You know, that's one of the only times when the first is also the last.

 

Yes, I got the numbers wrong accidentally on purpose.

 

Half of 3.14 is 1.57

 

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Maybe grapes can be smashed into a shotgun for massive construction paper.

 

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When?  When with the fishtanks learn to get along with Bowflex?

 

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So, when a puppet gets drunk, what does it see in the cantaloupe?

 

And how does this effect gravity and the earths polarity?

 

That's good maple's.

 

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This makes 594 posts to go.  See, we're getting there!

 

I hate you on so many levels.

 

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Just gotta get the cotton out of the sun.

 

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And now, some words from my father:

 

"Bob Johnson was a bum who ate his nose twice a day."

 

Thank you, and now, back to our Feature Presentation of "Life Without Earlobes".

 

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The celery says: "Bump!  Bump that like you know it!"

 

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Pepsi FTW!!!

 

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6419  -  Holy crap... lol

 

And I agree... Pepsi FTW!!

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I don't wear sleeves.  It's not to show off my muscle-roped arms, but to save my live.  When you go to a wake, do you notice what the person is wearing?  Long sleeves!  Only people with long sleeves die!  It's true.

 

Women, of course, are an entirely different matter.  They need to wear sleeves to save their lives.  Go to a wake sometime.  You'll see the truth, just as I did.

 

Pistachio nuts are unavailable in the flavor of teal.

 

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