In Lord of Chaos it is mentioned three times when Rand visits the Black Tower that Sora Grady stares at him. What is up with this lady?

Ummm...  She knows who he is, (i.e. the Dragon Reborn, who is doing to Break the world again) and she doesn't agree with her hubby for joining up with him.  But she's supportive, so she's there.  A good military spouse...  ;)

 

Oh, and check your Cap Lock next time before you hit 'Post'...  :P

She blames Rand for what Grady's becoming and Rand acknowledges that he is to blame when he recognizes it. I think it's just meant to keep the idea going that Rand is doing what he has to and not what he wants.