And I'll pray for it, too

But the one thing that I struggle with

Is trying to pretend I'm not in love with you

Oh, I never pretend to myself, or pretty much anyone else

But when I'm talking to you

I am just your best friend

And I don't have to make anything up

But I have to suppress all the words that want to come flooding out

And it's hard

And I might just ask you if it would bother you if I could tell you, every once in a while, what you mean to me

Not for your sake, but for mine

Although if it helped you in any way, that would be fantastic, too

But all this feeling I have inside has to go somewhere

Because there's more of it every day

And I feel kind of like the Grinch, with my heart WAY TOO BIG for my chest

And saying it all here in this thread is not the same as saying it to you

If I knew you'd see this it might be fine

Because then I'd be able to tell myself I was actually saying this to you

But at the same time both of us could pretend, if we wanted, that it hadn't actually been said between us

You wouldn't have to feel like I was saying it to you, because it's in this thread

But alas, that isn't how it's going to work

It never is

And now it's 2 hours past my bedtime

And 4 days since I got to talk to you last, for a little while

And I love you.