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Don't underestimate a crazy lady with a chainsaw

poetstorm
poetstorm
in The Black Tower

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I never was able to find that clip I wanted to find, so I guess I have no other option but to act it out from memory:

 

Open scene: everyone in the office except for Michael and Dwight have gathered in the conference room for a meeting

 

Dwight enters the room, setting a tape recorder down on center of the table

 

Jim: All right, let's get started. Umm... Oh, first off, we're supposed to be pushing cardstock this week. So... let's push cardstock this week. Uh, also... [to Dwight] what is this?

 

Dwight: Tape recorder.

 

Jim: For what?

 

Dwight: For recording. Michael is on vacation and he's asked me to record all meetings and to type up the transcripts.

 

Jim: OK. Uh, Karen, any news from that law firm?

 

Karen: Yeah, the deal closed yesterday, it's the six month commitment.

 

Jim: Oh my God, Dwight, what're you doing?

 

Dwight: What?

 

Jim: You're not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office.

 

Dwight: I'm not.

 

Jim: Dwight, you know what, just back up, okay, that's making me uncomfortable. This is sexual harassment, by the way. Oh my God! He's got a knife!

 

Dwight: I do not have a knife!

 

Jim: No, let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck?!

 

Dwight: [leans into tape recorder] Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar!

 

Jim: [picks up tape recorder and speaks into it] Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby's bonnet.

 

Dwight: Give me it. I am not.

 

Phyllis: Oh, Jim Carrey just walked in! Dwight, get his autograph for Michael quickly...

 

Dwight: Jim Carrey did not just walk in, OK.

 

Karen: Dwight, what is that on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo?

 

Jim: Oh my God, Karen, you're right, that is Animal from the Muppet Babies.

 

Dwight: You can't see... You can't see my stomach.

 

Andy: I am now chopping off Phyllis' head with a chainsaw!

 

[Awkward silence]

 

Andy: Riiinnn-in-in-in-in-in!

 

Scene! Whew, I can't believe I was able to do that! It's like I was just able to channel every character from the Office! And from memory, too!

 

(Editor's note: that might not have been from memory)

  • Quote

    80085 spells BOOBS on a calculator and 58008 spells BOOBS if you look at it upside down...

     

    But why would you want to know all the prime factors?

  • Quote

    80085 spells BOOBS on a calculator and 58008 spells BOOBS if you look at it upside down...

     

    But why would you want to know all the prime factors?

     

    So you can ask a random person to multiply two numbers and they'll punch it in the calculator and you can giggle when you see the word boobs come up...

     

    Why else would someone do such a thing?

     

     

    i'm thinking the nickname's gonna be rainman afterall...

     

    I had a roommate in college we called rainman... Dude was scary, you couldn't ever let him see any of your personal information, because he'd never forget it and always use it for mischievous purposes. Luckily he liked me, so he never did anything malevolent to me personally, but the potential was always there and that scared me.

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    I had a roommate in college we called rainman... Dude was scary, you couldn't ever let him see any of your personal information, because he'd never forget it and always use it for mischievous purposes. Luckily he liked me, so he never did anything malevolent to me personally, but the potential was always there and that scared me.

     

     

    unless he's passed on, it's still a risk.

  • Quote

    80085 spells BOOBS on a calculator and 58008 spells BOOBS if you look at it upside down...

     

    But why would you want to know all the prime factors?

     

    So you can ask a random person to multiply two numbers and they'll punch it in the calculator and you can giggle when you see the word boobs come up...

     

    I think I would try to calculate it by heart. And I would have the right answer.

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    Well, looking at it from this angle I almost understand Eclipse. No not really.

     

    I think I understand him. Because he's just like my older, and sometimes very annoying (because he's right WAY too much) brother.

     

    Are you 26, Eclipse? Or 27?

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    .... like a grown man?

     

     

    An annoying grown man.

     

     

    There's a difference?

     

    I actually don't think so.

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