As the sun rose, sunlight began streaming into the room through the small window. The higher the great, fiery ball rose, the farther the light penetrated into the room. Eventually the sun was high enough in the sky to cast light through the window and onto the bed of Faerthines Talcontar.

 

The boy groaned loudly and then winced at the volume of his own voice. Light but his head was throbbing! Despite having lived the past few months waking up to the same pounding headache, same blurry memories, he still suffered as much now as he had the first time he had tried to drown pain in drink. Yet the headaches were so much better than staying awake revisiting the meeting with Estel.

 

It took some time for his hazy mind to remember that he had lessons with Yrean and when it did, he stood up so fast he fell back down. Clutching his aching head, he stood up dizzily with much groaning and whining. Having no time to shave or pull a brush through his hair, he pulled on a pair of tan breeches and shrugged into a clean, white shirt.

 

Buckling his sword belt on while walking out the door he was momentarily stunned by the brilliance of the morning light. The boy was forced to squint against the still-rising sun as he moaned and groaned his way over to where Yrean was waiting for him with a non-too-pleased expression.

 

The only defence Faerthines could manage was a sickly, forced smile and whimper.

To say Yrean was becoming most unimpressed with Faerthines would be an understatement; lately the boy had been showing up late for his training and his performance had been getting worse and worse. He still managed to do just enough to get through the training, but in Yrean’s eyes that was not good enough, not nearly good enough. In their role as Tower Guards they needed to be at their sharpest at all times, one just did not know when or where the next problem could occur and readiness was everything. Not only that, but many a Warder was chosen from amongst the Tower Guards and this was a sign of pride for them and reflected on their training and abilities. Faerthines was beginning to let the side down with his current lackadaisical approach.

 

The problem for Yrean was that he was not a man to intrude on a person’s problem, certainly not without an invitation, and for whatever reason Faerthines had not seen fit to confide in Yrean. This caused Yrean some consternation as he had come to believe they had built up a solid foundation of a friendship. Whereas they might not spend every waking hour in each other’s company, they did spend a lot of time together and with this came a responsibility for both of them.

 

Perhaps I be not such a good mentor

 

This was a disquieting thought for Yrean as it made him feel he was not only letting Faerthines down, but also his own mentor who had been there for Yrean all throughout his training. For now though, Yrean thought it best to proceed with their normal morning routine and wait for Faerthines to broach the subject. It matters deteriorated further then he would have to act, but for now Yrean decided it would be best to keep a watching brief.

 

“I be thinking you be in no way fit for the morning run, be it your intention to disappoint me again Faethines?â€

 

Yrean Stavrosi

 

Tower guard

 

We are Grey. We stand between the Light and the Shadow

Faerthines winced. Partly from the noise of Yrean’s voice and partly from the disappointment in it. Light, he had disappointed everyone! Damn them all! Couldn’t they see what he was going through! He was doing the best he could and burn them if it wasn’t good enough. He couldn’t help that he wasn’t good enough! He couldn’t help that his mother was a failure and it seemed that she had passed the trait on to him. Burn her! Burn her to the Pit of bloody Doom! It would have been better if he hadn’t given birth to him at all!

 

From the heat emanating from his face, he knew his anger was beginning to show. He could do little about it, though. “It’s not my intention to disappoint you, sir.†Bitterness stung his voice. “But it seems I can’t escape it.â€

“You be avoiding it if you be here on time and be clear headed. How be you helping anyone in your present condition.”

 

Yrean kept his voice level as he did not want to add to the shame Faerthines was obviously feeling, but Yrean also knew that if he continued on in this vane he would just spiral deeper and deeper into depression. Yrean also knew that if he went easy on Faerthines things would not improve. In his days as a mercenary, Yrean had come across many who had had a drinking problem and all those who had to work with them considered them a liability, they also did not survive long, being the first to lose their lives. Yrean would be damned before any student of his went down that road

 

So that morning, and every morning afterwards, Yrean pushed Faerthines harder and harder, making their morning work outs more and more gruelling. Unfortunately, this did not seem to deter Faerthines from the course he seemed hell bent on following, so one morning Yrean decided to try a different approach. Instead of taking Faerthines out for their usual morning routine, Yrean took him to the canteen and made him sit down while Yrean went to get two mugs of tea. Sliding one across to Faerthines, Yrean waited until he had taken a sip then Yrean produced a small flask. Removing the stopper, Yrean poured a small measure of the whisky into Faerthines mug, and the same amount into his own, then left the flask on the table between them, encouraging Faerthines to take more if he felt the need.

 

“At some point, you be needing to talk to someone, now be as good a time as any I be thinking.”

 

Yrean Stavrosi

 

Tower guard

 

We are Grey. We stand between the Light and the Shadow

 

 

OOC: Estel, Yrean needs to report someone to the MOT for punishment so that he can meet the requirements to raise his WS. WOuld you mind if i used this thread for that purpose? If not that is fine by me, i am just trying to "kill two birds woth one stone" here. Let me know ok?

“You be avoiding it if you be here on time and be clear headed. How be you helping anyone in your present condition.”

 

That was easy for him to say. The pain was unbearable and alcohol was the only balm- or at least the only solution he would dare think about. Why couldn’t Yrean leave him be? He wasn’t hurting anyone, except perhaps himself and the only alternative was being driven insane by the pain he was going through.

 

That morning was only the first in a long string of grueling workouts and long sparring sessions; early mornings and late nights. Faerthines’ life had become a routine in which nothing ever changed except his clothes and the amount of alcohol he consumed- which got larger and larger.

 

Every morning he woke up a little later and with a worse hangover than the day before. He was only half-coherent for his morning workouts and by the afternoon he had transformed into a raging eighteen year-old who went off at the slightest thing. As soon as he finished in the Yards he went straight to the inns of Tar Valon and stayed there until no tavern would give him anymore alcohol.

 

About a month since Yrean had last chastised him on his addiction- he had yet to admit it was such to himself- the Illianer took sat him down rather than begin their usual demanding workouts. Yrean poured him a mug of whiskey which the boy greedily gulped down.

 

“At some point, you be needing to talk to someone, now be as good a time as any I be thinking.”

 

“Talk about what?” he snapped, immediately jumping to the defensive to justify his habit. “I’m as healthy as anyone else here!”

 

ooc: sure Owen

“You be seeing others throwing up? You be seeing others snapping at their mentors?”

 

Again Yrean kept his voice level, not wanting to add to the negative feelings that obviously had Faerthines in their grip. But it did no good, Faerthines was not in the mood to listen to anyone, not even his mentor, so Yrean led them on their morning run, pushing as hard as he had ever pushed Faerthines, and it was not long before the obvious signs of distress made themselves known. Fortunately Yrean had foreseen this and had brought along two water skins. Faerthines promptly emptied one, swallowing half of it and washing the remains of the vomit off his face and clothes with the rest. His skin still had the sickly green look that many got after vomiting, and Yrean did not think it wise to continue their morning run, or the lessons that would come next, but Faerthines insisted and so Yrean finished of the run and then went over to the assault course that occupied one portion of the Yards.

 

At the end of their training, Yrean reminded Faerthines that they had guard duty that night in the East Tower and warned his young charge that he must present himself in at the Guardroom in the Tower on time and in full uniform. “If you be late there be nothing I be doing for you, the Guard Commander will be there with our assignments and we be needing to be there on time.”

 

Yrean Stavrosi

 

Tower guard

 

We are Grey. We stand between the Light and the Shadow

 

OOC Estel, turn up late, turn up drunk,upto you ok? I will let teh MOT know and see how she wants this to proceed after your post.

The harder Yrean worked him, the worse Faerthines felt. Any sane man would have been able to learn his lesson the first time this happened but this misery was nothing new to the boy. As for his sanity... well, just the connection to his mother cast doubts over it.

 

Yet, despite everything, Faerthines still enjoyed the workouts, the training and the harder Yrean pushed him the better. During the day, he was so focused on training there was no time to reflect on the drastic downspiral his life had taken. Alcohol was his balm in the evenings, training his salve during the day. All in all, it wasn’t even that bad of a life. Why couldn’t anyone else see that?

 

He groaned when he was told of his guard shift that night. Guard duty meant there would be nothing to do but stand, watch and think. Thinking was an inevitable part of boredom and one he’d rather avoid. Unfortunately, there was no way on earth he would get away with arriving drunk... But what if he only had a few? Just enough that his mind buzzed pleasantly, but not enough that any symptoms showed. He could get away with that, couldn’t he?

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

 

That night found him sprinting though the streets, occasionally bumping the odd carouser but luckily those were too far gone to really care and if they did they couldn’t do anything about it. The evening had gone by pleasantly as he shared a few drinks with the other local alcoholics- not that he thought of himself as one. Now he was about to make it to guard duty exactly on time and at least mostly... partially... sober to boot!

 

“Good evening, Yrean!” he said grinning rather stupidly at his mentor, though speaking without a slur. “I’m here on time!”

"You sound like you deserve an award Trainee." Her voice was hard as she spoke. As hard as she needed it to be, which in this case she was afraid it might have to be hard enough to split oaks.

 

There were a number of things that might have been entertaining tonight. A mug of ale with some friends, a quiet nite with a book to read and no disturbances, an eventless evening in which not a single trainee was stepping out of line...

 

All or any of those things would have sufficed and she would have been in a far better mood for it. Waiting on the Wall to see if a trainee managed to show up on time and sober was something entirely different. That said trainee showed up barely on time, running from the looks of it, and drunk from the smell of it, did not make Ginae a happy Mistress.

 

As she stepped out of the shadows of the wall she appraised the young man before her. She didn't know his full story, but she knew enough to feel both saddened for him and frustrated that he hadn't found a way to bring himself out of his personal down spiral. That his mentor hadn't been able to get him around either and had felt the need to bring her into it said enough.

 

"You seem out of breath trainee. Have you been running?" She walked closer and sniffed him quite visibly. "Let me be more specific in my question. Have you been running from a tavern?"

 

Ginae, Mistress of Trainees

 

Yrean had dreaded this moment. Occasionally the Commander would appear at the changing of the Guards. Showing her face, and letting the Guards know that she could, and would, appear at any time. Yrean appreciated this, as you knew where you stood with this sort of a Commander. In the past there had been incidents where the Commander was less than enthusiastic about the responsibilities that went with the position. If there was anything Yrean truly could not stand that was slackness in others, sooner or later that would lead to somebody getting injured, or worse killed.

 

When Yrean had arrived at the Guard Tower, the appearance of the Commander had not surprised him, he had hoped that whatever problems Faerthines had, he would at least understand enough to not appear later for his shift. Yrean took this as a personnel affront, how a student behaved reflected on the teacher, and Yrean believed there were no bad students, only bad teachers, and this added to guilt and embarrassment he felt. He briefly greeted the Commander then went about his business, getting himself ready for the coming night, not that there was likely to be anything happening, apart from the late appearance of Faerthines. Sighing again at the unfortunate timing of the Commander’s visit, Yrean busied himself with his preparations, not even bothering to look up when Faerthines did eventually arrive.

 

 

Yrean Stavrosi

 

Tower guard

 

We are Grey. We stand between the Light and the Shadow

"You sound like you deserve an award Trainee."

 

A number of things exploded into Faerthines’ head at once. Shame, embarrassment, anger, regret. Questions came and went but one stuck and hurt more than the rest: “Why had Yrean brought Ginae?” Why had his mentor sold him out? Light blast the man!

 

"You seem out of breath trainee. Have you been running? Let me be more specific in my question. Have you been running from a tavern?"

 

Anger drowned out every other emotion within him. He was, not-so-slowly, slipping into its raging river and he would no longer have control over his own actions. It would be much easier right then to simply lash out in anger, releasing it in front of the others. However, he was reminded of the consequences . Hand by hand, he clawed himself out of his river of fury, embracing the Spring to keep as much anger as he could in check.

 

“Yes.” his answer was simple and yet without the Spring there would have been far too much emotion behind it for even an Aes Sedai to read fully.

"Yes." She restated the words after he said them. At least he was smart enough to tell the truth. He could have tried to lie his way out of it of course, but even slightly inebriated he would have to have known she would see it.

 

This was a problem she didn't know how to solve. Light, the trainee had some promise if he'd just get his head out of the drink ong enough to notice it. His mentor had done everything he could think of and the man was at the end of his rope. How do you deal with someone who decides they aren't worth their weight, yet want to hold and keep trying half handed?

 

She'd never found an answer to that and it pained her to think this trainee would suffer for her lack. Still, it was up to her to try to think of something.

 

"And what made you decide it was a good idea to drink before you showed up to guard duty?" She asked as she paced around him.

 

Ginae, MoT

He remained silent for a little while, stewing in his anger both at her and Yrean and at himself for being unable to answer her question. Good idea? What did she mean good idea? Of course it wasn’t a good idea but was it any better for him to show up for guard duty miserable and distracted by his own brooding? He couldn’t explain why he needed to drink even to himself, why in the Light did she expect him to explain it to her!

 

Seething, he kept her stare without flinching. He would not appear weak in front of her and he would take his punishment as it was given- deserved or no. “It wasn’t a good idea.” Faerthines doubted that would satisfy her but it was all he intended to give. If she wanted a better explanation she would either have to drag it out of him.

 

Sullenly, he returned to silence.

"It wasn't a good idea." She said, her voice taking on a hard edge. "And was it a good idea to take to drinking in the first place?" She asked. "Now, i'm no enemy of the drink mind you, but there is a difference in taking a few drinks and taking TO the drink. Perhaps you would be so good as to explain why you would become the latter." She said, her eyes boring into him as she waiting for an answer.

 

Light, she hated this sort of thing. Something was obviously wrong with the boy and though she had her own thoughts on the matter, she needed him to come out with it or her own thoughts were nothing.

 

Ginae

His fury surged and he was forced to retreat into the Spring to keep it under control. Light, but what he wouldn’t give for the chance to just smack her right then. Why did everyone feel the need to pry into his private affairs? It wasn’t like he could tell them what was going on, his damned mother had made a nice snarl of his life.

 

“I can’t.” Her eyes bored into his skull and he could almost feel the heat of her wrath. His own anger flared in response. “I would tell you if I could, but I honestly can’t. It’s not my story to tell, despite the fact that it’s my life that’s being ruined by it. Alcohol is my way of dealing with the fact that my life is being ruined by the person I’m forced to protect. That’s the best answer I can give you without betraying those whose secret I keep.” He stared back defiantly, avoiding his mentor’s eyes for fear of what he might find there.

So. It was nothing. He wasn't going to tell her a bloody thing and he'd managed to put it in such a way that she was impinging on his honor if she tried to force it out of him any further. She took a deep breath to keep herself from getting angry, but Light it did make her angry to see someone who showed promise but refused to take responisbility for his life and abilities.

 

She crossed her arms over her cehst as she looked at him one last time. "I suggest you spend the rest of the night drowning yourself in alcohol because if I see you so much as sniff a flask or look at a bottle come first light, i'll have your bags packed and waiting for you on the street before you can sober up. Is that understood?" She asked.

 

Ginae, Mistress of Trainess

She wasn’t happy, quite the opposite but Faerthines didn’t exactly expect her to be. If he wasn’t so furious just then, he wouldn’t have blamed her either. As was, he glared at her and nodded his head curtly. Her disparagement towards his only solace set every muscle in his body taunt in rage and despite begin otherwise silent, he was sure she could hear his teeth grinding clear as the sky above them.

 

When she left, he threw a sneer at her back but dared nothing more with Yrean at his back. Taunt him with drinking the night away while he had guard duty? That was low... really low. Given half the chance he would have liked to slap her upside the face. He refused to even look at his mentor as he started his shift, or what was left of it. The entire night, he spoke only the bare minimum to the Tower Guard.