Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the DO

 

TALK TO THE FORSAKEN, LIKE A DO

DESTROY LIGHTIES, LIKE A DO

LEAD AN ARMY, LIKE A DO

REMEMBER DRAGONS, LIKE A DO

DIRECT TROLLOCS, LIKE A DO

MY OWN TOILET, LIKE A DO

MICRO MANAGE, LIKE A DO

PROMOTE BALFIRE USE, LIKE A DO

HIT ON GRAENDAL, LIKE A DO

GET REJECTED, LIKE A DO

...

 

DO. Why have you not broken the fourth wall?

THE DARK ONE HAS NO FOURTH WALL, MY PRISON IS METAPHYSICAL.... THAT, AND I STARTED TO GET ANNOYED WITH USING THE CONFESSIONAL ROOM WHEN I LEARNED I WAS SHARING IT WITH THE CAST OF THE JERSEY SHORE AND SNOOKIE KEPT LEAVING OPEN BEER CANS IN THERE.

 

Dark One, how'd you become the dark one?

practice, practice, practice

 

do... what would you like me to know?

THAT I FIND YOU VERY UNIQUE. I DEEPLY CRAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU WHERE WE CAN SHARE OUR FEELINGS, HOPES AND DREAMS. THIS IS WHAT MY HEART DESIRES. ONCE I BREAK OUT OF THIS PRISON, ARE YOU FREE FOR A CUP OF KAF?

 

Dark One, have you lost your mind?

NO, I HAVE HAD SHAIDAR HARAN (WHOM I REFER TO AS MR. BIGGLESWORTH) AROUND ME FOR SOME TIME NOW TO KEEP ME COMPANY. GRANTED, IT"S A PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF MY WILL AND MIND IN A MYRDRAAL, BUT IT'S BETTER THAN LISTENING TO ISHAMAEL RAMBLE ON FOR 3000 YEARS ABOUT REVENGE ON LTT. GIVE IT A REST, GUY!

 

Dark One, who will win the Seahawks/Packers game on Monday?

I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT MY POOR MISGUIDED CHILD. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD BEG FOR MY INTERVENTION TO STOP THE ROGERS MACHINE?

 

Dark One, do you play an instrument?

I DO. YOU KNOW THE OLD TALE OF "CROSSROADS", I ASSUME? WELL, WHO DO YOU THINK THE DEVIL SOLD HIS SOUL TO TO BE SUCH A GREAT GUITAR PLAYER?

 

Dark One, ever feel like it's all meaningless?

duh. whole point of my end it all emo.

 

do, why don't the humans understand us?

MEOW. 'NUFF SIAD. WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE.

 

 

Dark One, What's your take on torture?

THE DARK ONE, MUCH LIKE THE DUDE, ABIDES.

 

Dark One, what's one of your favorite quotes?

not an effective means of acquiring accurate information, but who doesn't like a little slap and tickle now and then?

 

do, why does the world stop and start on Friday?

ya know, I was ninjaed but I'm gonna say I like my own quote and move on.

FRIDAY IS THE DAY OF RECKONING. IT IS NOT THE BEGINNING BUT IT IS A BEGINNING. FRIDAY GIVES BIRTH TO LEGEND, AND LEGEND FADES TO MYTH. MYTH FADES TO FRIDAY AND MONDAY YOU START THE WHOLE MESS OVER AGAIN. INCONCIEVABLE.

 

Dark One, are you eternal? Can you die?

I AM PARADOX. IF I'M DEAD IN ONE WORLD, I'm DEAD IN ALL. IF I'M ALIVE IN ONE WORLD, I'M ALIVE IN ALL. I'M LIKE SHROEDINGER'S CAT, MEOW.

 

Dark One, who was I in a past life?

A RANDOM DARKFRIEND. YOU MAY THINK THAT IRONY, BUT WHN YOU EVENTUALLY TURN TO THE DARK YOU WILL HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE. THEN I WILL TAKE YOUR LIFE.

 

Dark One, I am ready. Will you take me now?

like any man, the dark one loses interest as soon as you want him. perhaps in your next life.

 

dark one, does the creator love you, too?

YES, THE CREATOR LOVES ME IN HIS OWN WAY. HE ANSWERS ALL PRAYERS. BUT SOMETIMES, THE ANSWER IS NO.

 

Dark One, Other than Shadar Haran, who is your fave WOT character?

mmmmmmmmoridin ......... ahhhhh, I did well there...

 

do... why doesn't this data disc remember where it was last time I stopped it?

BECAUSE MACHINES FAIL. LIFE FAILS. ALL THINGS SHALL FAIL. SHUCH SHALL IT BE ON THE DAY I AM RELEASED FROM PRISON...

 

DO, May I go home now?

you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. drive recklessly.

 

do, should we really be taking your advice?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE A CHOICE? ORDERS ARE MY NON-OPTIONAL ADVICE; YOU SERVE AND OBEY...OR YOU DIE, WORM!

 

 

 

 

 

Great Lord, do you have genitals?

how else do you think i keep myself occupied in this prison?

 

DO, what is up with the traffic on this shaky server?

THAT IS DEMANDRED'S VERSION OF "UNLEASHING THE BALEFIRE".

 

Dark One, should I get a new car?

I THINK YOU SHOULD GET A LE CAR. TRES SEXY

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark One, Why would you throw Random under the bus like that?

I love to hear him squeal.

 

do, why is lurk still at work?