Alex,

 

i'd love to meet up one day and pick your brain.

 

- Sylar

Sylar,

 

I have no idea who you are. Are you as handsome as I am and can you shoot a bow as well as me?

 

Sincerely,

Legolas

Legolas,

 

Sylar is currently under the investigation of the FBI for stealing others powers. Though my partner, Scully, thinks he is rather handsome I would highly suggest you stay away from him as he's a bit ... mentally unstable at the moment. However, now that I do have your attention, i have a certain case file i'd like to go over with you, if you'd be so kind as to meet me at my Apt later tonight.

 

- Mulder

 

((Sylar is from the TV show 'Heros' ))

Dear Mulder,

 

Is it a party? Will there be a feast? Ahhhh, there's no feast that is as good as a dwarf can put on. Roaring fire, ripe meat off the bone . . .

 

Will there be a drinking game? I may just come along with Legolas!

 

Sincerely,

Gimli, Son of Gloin

Dear Gimli,

 

Are you short, or are you just standing far away?

 

Beldin.

Dear Uncle Beldin,

 

When was the last time you bathed? You smell like the south end of a north-bound skunk!

 

Much love,

Polgara

Polgara,

 

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!

 

- Gandalf

Gandalf,

 

Do you like hanging with hobbitses just so you look taller?

 

Tuor

Tuor,

 

A wizard never hangs with hobbits just to make him look taller - he hangs precisely with whom he wants to.

Btw, eagles SO pwn swans.

 

Gandalf

Dear Gandalf,

 

We have much in common, you and I. I was reviled for raising an innocent to be a lamb at slaughter, and you for sending an innocent into certain slaughter. I think we should discuss this over tea. Shall we say my study at Hogwarts at 4?

 

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Dear Dumbledore,

 

any chance of getting a sock? I want to be free too.

 

Sincerely,

 

Legolas

Legolas,

 

Tell me, where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him.

 

Celeborn

Dear Celeborn,

 

Gandalf prefers to speak to the Organ Grinder, not the Monkey - and so is busy talking to me.

 

Galadriel.

Dear Galadriel,

 

Yes, dear.

 

Yours in taking out the trash,

 

Celeborn

Celeborn,

 

stop stealing Galadriels dresses and wigs. Try to look like a man, even if you act like a whipped monkey.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Elrond

Elrond,

 

Much to discuss, we have.

 

like minds, we are.

 

message me back, you must.

 

 

- Yoda

Dear Yoda,

 

Magic beats the Force.

 

--Gandalf

Gandalf,

 

i will have you know, that the Force is technically magic; so your point is moot.

 

- George Lucas

 

PS: my little green Yoda could kick your butt any day of the week. name the date and time buddy and i'll see you on Celebrity Death match!

Dear George,

 

Guess who owns your patooties now?

 

Love,

Mickey

Mickey Mouse,

 

*asmatic breathing* So ... i saw a clip of this show called South Park on something called "Comedy Central" the other day.

 

apparently *heavy breathing* they have footage of you demeaning and man handling a group called "The Jonas Brothers" ...

 

*heavy breathing* before we enter into a working relationship, i woudl like you to refer to the atached video survelliance clip from the Death Star version 1.0 before you try to man handle me or put me in ice skates to partake in sing alongs on Ice.

 

Your's truely,

 

Darth Vader

 

 

attached Clip:

 

Dear Darth Vader:

 

I rock the mask so much better than you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Bane

Dear Bane,

 

You still owe me a dowery for my daughters hand in marriage.

 

Ra's al Ghul

Dear Ra's al Ghul,

 

At least none of my students have surpassed me

 

Yoda.

Yoda,

 

Imposter, you are.

 

Speak like me, you do not.

 

Ghollum, your true identity is.

 

- The Real Yoda

Dear Yoda.

 

Why did you refuse to train me how to become a Jedi? You said I was too old! I'm only eight years old.

 

-Anakin.