Thats it. 100 evil things.

The goal: to come up wih at least 100 evil things.

The topic: 100 evil things to give for Valentine's day (to whoever. Your love, your Stalker. Verb).

 

The rules: 2 maximum per post.

No repeats. You may embellish on previous lists.

Go!

1. A. decapitated teddy bear wearing a shirt with you love's name on it.

 

2. A restraining order.

3. The head of your significant other's former love on a pike.

 

4. A one way trip to hell.

5. Verb's coke on a stick... (it may not sound evil but he will know exactly how evil it is)

 

6. Your ex's prize car delivered to his driveway in a small ball from being crushed.

7. A hat, lovingly crafted from the flesh of your stalker's only child
 

8. A call to your ex in a sad voice saying "I think you need to get checked"

9. Bottled Fart. 

 

10. Their own severed finger. 

11. A box of Africanized honey bees

12. A nice dark beer with some Iracongi jellyfish put in it

13. A beautiful handcrafted box with a deadly viper inside.

 

14. A fine bottle of wine laced with arsenic.

15. A real heart as a symbol of your love (bonus if its still beating)

16.  A copy of the last WOT book with half the pages missing?

17. A bouquet of poisonous flowers

 

18. A heart-shaped box of chocolate laxatives

19. AMol on tape, redubbed where the important scenes are in Klingon instead of English.

20. AMoL on tape, with Gilbert Gottfried narrating.

21. Barry White's greatest hits. As sung by Gilbert Gottfreid, Rebecca Black, and any

American Idol failed contestant.

22.  my warmest affection

23 the howling wind and the shards of shattered crystal ice it drives Into once soft living flesh this whole winter making little bleeding cuts but freezing cuts solid before...

 

this winter tears body from soul and will end all that is good and alive... the sound of the wind never ends the cold never stops stealing life's warmth and the spring will be still more cruel laying bare the frozen waste to the rot of quickening feeding life.

 

there is nothing more evil I can think of as the storm scours away all thought.

 

why yes, yes I am depressed.

 

hug me at your own peril. I'll not forgive the contempt of familiarity.

 

goodnight. and may god have mercy on our souls.

24 chocolate

25 my neighbors husbands. all of them. wth?

26. Telephone survey people.

27. feces, given via cannon

28. 500-lb bombs, delivered via F18 over your crib. Not only would the noise disturb you from your trashy reality TV shows, but it would be... explosive.

29 my seething hatred

30. A book "Dummies." Inside is just a mirror.

31 intelligence. we eat the dummies.

32. All five movies in blue-ray dvd of the Twilight Series, Deluxe edition.