I'm in one of my infamous bad moods.

 

I need something to do. But everything around me. Books. movies. games. include badass heroes being awesome. and I can't tolerate it right now.

 

It's driving me nuts!

I offered you a book that wasn't like that. You declined

I can't read at home. The environment is too hectic. I need to be on the bus to read.

 

Reading is out for now.

 

Edit: I also don't have the book you mentioned.

Do you ever think that you take these things a little too seriously?

 

*gets out notebook*

Literally NOTHING I do makes me happy.

 

I hate sports. I hate clubs. I hate socialising since I have nothing in common with people (loing villains for instance) Media is literally my only source of joy. and now I constantly feel like I'm frantically searching for something to like.

 

And I seem to quit anything I read or watch partway through when it gets me really angry (normally a villain I like being humiliated or the hero being unstoppably badass) so it just adds to my fear of finding stuff to enjoy. Even if it LOOKS like I'm enjoying something. I can turn on it really quickly if it gets on my nerves.

I think that's a yes.

 

How is getting so angry about stuff working out for you?

It's not just anger. It's frustration and sorrow. The fear of never enjoying anything ever again. The fear of eternal boredom.

 

I try so hard not to get angry. I count to ten. Go out on walks. Most of the time I just want someone to talk to. but my attitude just pushes people away from me after a while.

 

My friend who recced WOT to me pretty much can't talk about WOT any more since my complaining drove him to despair. He said this series had amazing and competent villains dammit. (and sometimes they are. but so many people here keep shaking my confidence by saying that they're terrible)

It's just a story.

 

But I do think that the bad guys in WoT do have a tendancy to collapse like a house of cards.

 

Are you feeling generally numb about everything, apart from when you get angry or frustrated?

I feel like I'm looking for the next big thing and can't find it.

 

When I found Death Note it opened my eyes and I was happier than I've been in years.

 

Now I can't find anything that recaptures that magic or makes me feel like that. There are things which are "okay" but nothing GRABS me.

My friend just screamed at me ovver me getting frustrated over the show Once Upon A Time. (breaks down crying)

I wonder why

 

Please refer to my previous 'taking it all to seriously' comment.

How?

 

I just told you. I've TRIED not taking it seriously. It's not a switch that I can just turn of whenever I please

This is not something I can help you with then. Sorry.

 

I'm tired anyways. Been a very long day.

Spice, it sounds like you have personal issues that stand in your way and prevent you from enjoying things. I can't help you with this, and neither can Ithi, but I would advice you to talk to the people that are close to you about this.

They laugh and don't take me seriously. They think I shouldn't take things so seriously. They don't understnd no matter how I try to explain it to them. They can't even comprehend that I love villains

 

All I want is something to do till I calm down. SOmething to watch where the heroes aren't awesome. It's a standard thing which I've always wanted.

They laugh and don't take me seriously.

 

This is part of the problem.

All I want is something to do till I calm down. SOmething to watch where the heroes aren't awesome. It's a standard thing which I've always wanted.

 

Fair enough. There must be some kind of stories that you enjoy reading, you can't be the only one who enjoys seeing the heroes suffer.

Okay. Laugh is a hyperbole. They just look at me in disbelief and shrug off what I say.

 

All I want is to enjoy things. It's not personal. I'm tired of everyone thinking it's a personal issue. I watch something. Get annoyed when a hero is awesome or villain is humiliated and I get wound up. That's ALL.

 

All this talk that I must have some personal problems is part of why I'm so worked up. It's people not comprehending my problem.

Maybe you should watch the news or a documentary. People struggle in real life all the time.

 

Books and films are fantasy - and they are other people's fantasies at that. Seeking another reality is a common way of wanting to escape from your own. I've been there myself since I was very small.

 

I think that you are not going to find the answers to what you seek unless you actually figure out what it is you are really looking for.

 

Is finding the perfect book/movie so important that you will allow its absence to create so much misery?

 

Perhaps you should think about creating it yourself - since only you truly know what it is you want.

I want escapism. I've always considered fiction the perfect method of escaping the boringness of life.

 

I want to see worlds where hope and goodness triumpth even though evil is stronger. Badass heroes are only really a problem for me when the villain doesn't get to be at least equally  awesome.

 

And I like conflict. politics. Different theologies rebounding and causing friction between each other in various ways. smart people scheming against each other. It's why I love the game of houses so much

Have you read the deryni books? The villains do fairly well in them and there is a fair amount of political maneuvering. It has been a while since I read them so no specifics.

Try reading the Age of Misrule - Mark Chadbourn the heros are ordinary people (very flawed), hard to work out who is the baddies, though soem are obvious and it's a little different and crosses the Celtic world and mythology with modern day. The series for this bit is three books, but the whole theme goes to 9 (just haven't read the last two yet, so not sure how it ends!)

and that's the problem. You're all reccomending BOOKS. I can only read in very specific situations and I have to dedicate months of my life to it. When I need an itch scratched, I need somethign like a film or a television show or an anime. I have PLENTY to read. It's everyything else that I'm short on

You need a bad guy to win in a movie?

 

Fallen

No. I want the bad guy to temporarily win. Through his own skills and abilities, not because the hero was having an off day or due to other circumstances beyond his control. I want the hero to win, but I want them to be significantly challenged

 

I hate downer endings