~Rossa~

 

Rossa had considered Sirayn Sedai’s words all the way back to her small room shared with two other novices and tried to pick them apart for hidden meaning. There was some there, of that there was no doubt, but she was still too full of surprise for anything more to sink in. Not today. It was highly unlikely she’d be neither use nor ornament today, and it was just as well that there was only another lesson that Rossa knew inside out before the end of the day. Not even the usual spark caused by the promise of free time to go and see if Nerome was in the library, or to go and read books to see if she could glean more information about the current political climate in Ebou Dar was penetrating the fug of her thoughts today. Now, as she walked along the stately corridors of the Blue Ajah quarters to Estel Sedai’s rooms there, Rossa felt a pang of nerves. What if the horrible woman wanted her to do all sorts of nasty chores usually reserved for those serving penances under the Mistress of Novices? What if it was more than just dancing attendance on the woman? She did not know what this week would entail, only that she had to keep her eyes open and report back to Sirayn Sedai on her findings. That thought gave her cause to stop for a moment, mid-stride as she was, walking down the halls. It wasn’t that she was scared of the small Green Sister, more that she was in awe. Fear turned to a will to serve to the point of madness sometimes. Rossa did want to please, but she kept her own interests fixed in the back of her mind to try and find out information about the Blue Ajah, and more background on Estel Sedai, if possible.

 

Poised outside the woman’s rooms, Rossa pushed the dark strands of hair that had escaped her clip behind her ears and straightened her back. An imagined bird on a leash was pulling her head up, her stomach was held tightly in to try and stop it from making funny noises of nerves, or hunger, and her shoulders were squared, as though she were going to put her hand into a fire. She had done much the same when she had stood outside the Mistress of Novices’ office a few years ago when she had arrived at the White Tower … the marking of another chapter in her life, and so began a new chapter. Before, she had been alone. Now, she had someone potentially aware of her abilities and aptitudes, and that someone was not without influence. It would all help, eventually, when Rossa returned to Altara and her family’s honour and good name were restored. It would all be worth it. All the hardships and hassle, all the chores, even all of the barely concealed meanness hiding jealousy or envy, it would be worth it to see the look on the face of whoever had set that blaze. Taking a deep breath, Rossa knocked on the Blue Sister’s door and waited for it to be opened. Please, Light, let it not be too painful!

When the knock came on Estel’s door, she immediately groaned. She hated company. Not that she was one to keep to herself; though she often tried to convince herself of the contrary, and she certainly didn’t hate people, people hated her. If she had been a complete idiot or narcissist, not that those traits weren’t heavily expressed in her personality, she could have tried to convince herself that they were simply jealous. Unfortunately, there was very little, actually closer to nothing, to be jealous of.

 

No, Estel hated company because company rarely mean good news. For her, company was defined by long lectures on her shortcomings, harassment by Sisters who tried to treat her as if she were still in whites and of course the lovely visits by Sister who just needed to take out their anger on someone. Honestly, some days she might as well have worn a sign saying “The White Tower’s kicked puppy”.

 

Ah the joys of being the lowest of the low. ‘My only comfort is that no one expects anything from me any longer. I have absolutely no one to disappoint.’ The thought did little to ease her self-loathing.

 

Since returning to the Tower after the disaster with Matthias and the resulting pregnancy, she had moved her mirror closer to the door so that she could actually see what state of disrepair her facial features were in before receiving a lecture on them from one of her upstanding Sisters.

 

This time was no different and as she waked by her reflection, she could almost summon up pride that her hair and make-up was orderly, her face was calm and the only sign of irritation was her clenched jaw. By the time her hand was on the door, her fake smile was in place and her jaw was relaxed enough that her teeth wouldn’t grind every time she moved.

 

It was quite a shock... well, not a shock, a surprise and a nasty one at that- to find dear Rossa Venye, with whom she was so well acquainted, standing in her doorway. At least the girl had sense enough to appear nervous and Estel wondered whether the girl knew where her hands were itching to go. Honestly, was the girl suicidal?

 

“You have some nerve coming here, child.” The Blue managed to keep the better part of her fury from her voice, though it was still menacing. “Did the Mistress of Novices send you?” Estel waited for the answer, almost praying that she would have an excuse to slam the door in the Novice’s face.

~Rossa~

 

She waited until the crystal chimes of the woman’s voice had stilled, and stood at the door, fully expecting to have a plate hurled at her head by that pitiful harpy. No, Rossa thought, I should not refer to her like that, even in my thoughts. Estel Sedai was an Aes Sedai, a sister of the Blue Ajah, and deserving of her respect. It was such a … different … method of punishment for such a … different … type of offence. Who knew, perhaps at the end of this week of dancing attendance on the object of her satirical attention, Rossa might even come to like the woman. She could at least report her findings to Sirayn Sedai the way she had been instructed to. That, too, would be an interesting experience. Delicate footsteps crossed the threshold and pressed stolidly towards this chore. Maybe scrubbing floors in the halls, or mucking out the stables might be preferable as she could watch the comings and goings of the Tower…

 

No. She would keep her resolve and do this. Rossa had put pencil to paper and sketched her, Sirayn Sedai had caught her and instead of being sent to the Mistress of Novices, Rossa had gotten off lightly in comparison. She could have been sitting very gingerly indeed, the result of a switching she’d likely not forget in a hurry for drawing bad publicity for the White Tower. She repented her actions in one way only: that she had been caught doing so. Why she had not been more circumspect when her mother had taught her so well in the great game of Daes Dae’mar to make such a childish error? Ah, it mattered not. Rossa vowed to get on with it, and get it out of the way. Dropping into a deep curtsy, Rossa kept her head respectfully low, and spread her skirts as wide as if the Blue sister were in fact the Amyrlin Seat.

 

“Good morning, Aes Sedai.” Rossa kept a perfectly neutral tone, designed not to goad the other woman into instantly giving her the foulest and most disgusting job straight off. “I have been assigned to wait on your needs for this week, Estel Sedai. Please, tell me where to begin, and I will serve as I am told. I was asked to come here by Sirayn Sedai.” Her eyes took in the décor of the room, noting the little details, the books, the general state of dress and abode. And yet she felt a pang of trepidation that was nothing to do with nerves, but more to do with the fact that this was one of the only times she had been inside the actual individual quarters of the Blue Ajah. Running errands was one thing, but this was the first time she had been able to study one of the rooms close up, particularly such a sister as Estel Sedai. Straightening from her curtsy, Rossa stood up tall as she had been told: a weight from her rear and a bird trying to fly away tied to her head. It only remained for the duties to be told…

It was all Estel could do to keep from grinding her teeth at the mention of Sirayn Sedai’s name. She had known from the moment that infuriating woman had barged into her apartments the day before that this would not be the last she would have to hear of this... whatever it was that you called this. Blood and ashes, but was the woman mad? Sending her the single person who was currently head of the People-Estel-Would-Most-Like-to-Strangle Ajah? Either Sirayn had some diabolical scheme up her sleeve for Estel’s total ruination or the Green had a death wish for the cheeky little Novice. No doubt by the end of the day there would be at least one dead body somewhere while the other rotted in jail. Estel had no intentions of falling so low that she was killed by a Novice.

 

Yet, despite being given complete authority over her enemy, the Blue was dumbfounded as to what she was going to do with the girl. As much as Estel would like to make the now unfortunate Novice suffer, any plans that came immediately to mind would land her in the closest prison cell. Damnit, the one time imagination would come in handy...

 

What she needed was more time. Hazel eyes darted over to her victim-to-be, noting that Rossa was being far from circumspect in noting the state of disorder her rooms were in- she had to rein her thoughts back from the notion that it reflected her life all too well. “Since you’re so interested in my rooms,” her voice was filled with as much dry ire as she could squeeze into it “why don’t you tidy them up for me so I can get some work done?”

~Rossa~

 

A tiny frisson of relief swept through Rossa as she realised the first part of her week in serving Estel Sedai would be nothing more strenuous than a spot of tidying. She curtsied, giving the bare minimum amount of courtesy she could get away with, and an emotionless "Yes, Aes Sedai" before allowing her eyes to give the room a more frank and thorough appraisal. It wasn't that bad, just in need of a couple of devoted chambermaids and a little care and attention. Well, it didn't have a couple of devoted chambermaids; it had Rossa, and while she could hardly be called devoted, she was not going to shirk on the care and attention.

 

She'd have to be very quiet, so as not to disturb the shrewish woman further. Rolling up the sleeves of her white novice dress, Rossa looked around to find the likeliest place to begin and settled on beginning to tidy the bed. Ultimately the focal point of a bedchamber, if the bed looked neat, it would help the rest of the room look neater too. She straightened the base blanket and stripped the covers from the top to shake them violently free from dust and detritus, and pounded the mattress and pillows into lump-free softness as though it were Estel Sedai herself. The blankets which were not suitable or looked as if they had been resident on the bed a long time, Rossa put into a corner for the laundry and went to fetch fresh ones to replace them with. It looked as though the Blue sister was having an enormous amount of trouble sleeping, judging from the wrinkles and creases on the sheets, and even when they were straightened to cover the mattress once more, they did not totally flatten. Were restless nights spent crying in the protective warmth of her bed the reason? Now that she looked closer, there did appear to be some water marks on the top edges of some of the blankets... Rossa decided to tell Sirayn Sedai as it might be important. It wasn't a thing for a novice to puzzle out, even if it did tickle like an itch she couldn't quite reach to scratch.

 

Having made the bed, Rossa started tidying objects on the night-table next to Estel's bed. A glass with some water in it, a piece of coal that was probably the object of some random study and a book or two. Late night reading, judging from how far down the candle by her bed had burnt down. She straightened the spines in a neat pile of the books, noting the titles absently. Mirrors Of The Wheel and Hearts of Flame, along with a title she didn't recognise with a title so hard to read it could have been about anything. It appeared to be Behind the Taint - A Study of Saidin. Surely that was worth reporting to her mentor?

 

Bustling around, Rossa straightened and dusted shelves, never once tempted to use the One Power even had she been allowed. There was something therapeutic about putting a room in order, Rossa had found. Well, she'd discovered since she had no choice but to live where she had to keep her own things in order, anyway. She wondered what Sirayn Sedai would say to the things she had discovered so far, and while Rossa hung up the last dress on the hanger and replaced it carefully in the wardrobe, she felt the weight of a stare on her back.

 

OOC - if there's anything you need me to change, just ask :)

Scritch… Whisk… Scratch… Whisk… Scritch… Whisk… Scratch…

 

You knew your room was too quiet when the scritch-scratch of your pen was drowned out by the sound of a feather brush wiping dust off your shelves… Either that or you knew your rooms were in dire need of a good cleaning. The former was a blessing for the harassed Blue, the latter a subject of harassment. However “blessed” she was, irritation held a firm foot-hold in her emotions and occasionally the scritch-scratch-whisk was broken by the grinding of teeth. At least the unwanted noises provided a… not pleasant but needed distraction from the chicken scratch she was forced to decipher. She wasn’t allowed to vent her irritation on the long-dead writer and it seemed such a waste to waste the target Sirayn had painted on poor Rossa’s face.

 

Finally hearing, or rather not hearing the tell-tale signs of housecleaning behind her, Estel turned to give the girl her next task. It was right about then that the Blue made a double take: recopying chicken scratch, Rossa; forgery, artist. Suddenly unusually gleeful, a wide smile, though not entirely friendly, split her face.

 

“I don’t suppose that able hand of yours is any good at…” forgery sounded just a little conspicuous “copying is it? You see these journals?” she pointed to the two journals Melian Sedai had set her to copy. “I’m supposed to have them copied out for tomorrow morning but I’m afraid certain things” the inflection in her voice made what she was talking about obvious “have kept me from finishing them. Since your hands are so quick to copy images, you get to help me. Technically I’m supposed to be the one to do them but…” Estel moved the recopied version of one of the journals she had finished towards the other end of the desk along with an un-copied journal, empty journal, pen, ink and sand. Intelligent as the girl no doubt was, she would pick up on what she was implying. If not, well at least then Estel got to taunt her.

 

Ooc: the journals are from long-dead Blue Sisters that Estel has been set (as an unofficially penance) to copy. Figured it’d give Rossa a bit of an insight into the life of a Blue.

~Rossa~

 

It was all Rossa could do to keep her eyebrows on her head. As it was, without the iron self-control her mother had taught her before the fateful fire, her brows were knitting quite nicely into her hair. She brought them down again, and hoped to the Light that the woman hadn’t noticed. Why would a sister of the Blue Ajah be copying texts like a novice? What certain things did the woman mean? Surely she did not mean Rossa had been so much of a distraction that Estel Sedai could not concentrate on what she had to do? The thing was that if Rossa copied these texts it wouldn’t be the same as Estel writing them unless … oh, she was going to ask her to forge her handwriting, was she?

 

Oh yes, she was.

 

Rossa could see a very, very evident bonus to this. She would know Estel Sedai’s handwriting as soon as she saw it, and given the practice the woman was handing her on a plate, she would be able to write it, possibly even sign things in her name. She wouldn’t, but it was nice to know that she could if she needed to. That, and Estel would not know Rossa was going to have to tell Sirayn about this anyway. I am doing as I was told Rossa thought as she sat down and picked up the pen and dipped it into the stone inkwell. Carefully wiping the nib on the side, she allowed the excess to trickle away before beginning to copy the texts.

 

It appeared to be the life story of a Blue Sister and her travels away from the Tower. From the simple things like details of life on the road to her treatment in places like Tear that held no love for the White Tower, Rossa found herself moved by the struggles and challenges she faced. Throughout the piece of work she copied from the original into Estel’s chicken-like scrawl, Rossa felt a strange feeling of kinship, as though she shared the same spirit somehow. It was peculiar. If there hadn’t been the almost palpable feeling of animosity in the air, Rossa would have asked the Blue sister what it was like to be Blue Ajah.

 

Another paragraph scribed from original to duplicate form. Rossa felt almost at ease now, her conscience thinking no more of the forgery than a ploy in Daes Dae’mar, and she could confess it easily to Sirayn Sedai as following simple instructions. That became secondary, as Rossa grew engrossed in the text. More tales now followed of trying to solve the age-old problem similar to her own pet cause of feeding the hungry. She was utterly engrossed. The Blue sister might be more amenable to let Rossa have a look at the book on her bedside table if she liked her, so she decided to ask anyway.

 

“Aes Sedai, if I might ask a question?”

 

Rossa waited until she got a nod.

 

“Is this what it means to be Blue Ajah, Aes Sedai? I’m feeling a … calling to it.”

Estel allowed a small self-satisfied smile at Rossa’s surprise. Perhaps it was petty, but breaking the girl’s unnaturally familiar emotionlessness gave her a certain feeling of accomplishment. Petty indeed... she refused to let a twinge of guilt or wince at what she had been reduced to spoil her momentary victory. Settling herself back to the drudgery of copying out the journals, she ignored the echoing scritch scratch from Rossa.

 

Some two hours later, Estel was quite content staring off into space, daydreaming with her dry pen held an inch above the half-filled page. Her reverie was broken by Rossa’s question. Lips tight, she nodded curtly but all irritation fled in light of the question and left her mind spluttering in surprise.

 

Blue Ajah? Of all the Novices and Accepted to come to her about possibly aspiring... Rossa? Burn her, for any initiate to come to her about aspiring... She was completely unprepared for this. The beginnings of her own aspirantship were clear enough, having only been a few years in the past, but she was no Serena. Estel supposed she could send the girl on to the Saldaean, but with things as they were between them it be an admission of her ineptness. Besides, a tiny bout of possessiveness came upon her and burn her if she’d let the others steal quite possibly the only usefully thing she could do for her Ajah. This might even help increase her standing among them and get her out of this damn “unofficial penance”.

 

“It is part of what it means to be Blue.” she chose her words carefully. She wound not ruin this! “What you read in these journals is only what life is like for a Blue Sister, it isn’t what we are. Every Sister goes tramping through the world, doing this or that for the sake of their Cause but they have a generic Cause, common through their entire Ajah and are responsible to their Ajah. We as Blues had a sort of... freedom.” Praise the Light for that, else Estel wouldn’t have survived up until now. “We each have our own Causes and are not responsible to anyone else for them.”

~Rossa~

 

Pondering over the diaries, Rossa felt more and more drawn towards the Blue Ajah. She had previously considered herself drawn towards the Gray, but this talk of causes was sounding far more appealing. Even in the classes that had described each of the Ajahs, Rossa had not felt drawn to any of them particularly other than the Blue seeming appealing to be able to follow justice and the Gray from the legal points of view. Thinking about it, if she had access to some of the Gray doctrines and treaties then it was entirely possible she could find some loophole or something to fully exploit the situation that caused her family’s deaths. Following the Blue Ajah felt like it meant more to Rossa though. It felt, as she had said, more of a calling.

 

Occasionally, she looked up and around the room to see what the harridan of a Blue Sister, Estel Sedai, was doing. Sometimes Rossa would catch her with a mildly smug smile on her face, others it seemed to flicker between unseemly worry and almost distaste. She realised she had yet to finish copying the texts and while Rossa copied the Aes Sedai’s handwriting perfectly, she took in every little detail about Blue Ajah life that she could possibly discern. The wearing of blue stockings on leaving the White Tower on any kind of business was an almost quaint tradition, but she could see the logic of it. It was a reminder to the sister in question that she always had a home. The newly risen Blue sister having to bake a pie for the sixth sister in line to welcome her to their ranks made her almost quail – Rossa was not used to cooking. For all she wanted to follow food and the provision of such for those that could not easily do so, she could barely roast a rabbit. Growing up in the manor house she had been provided with sumptuous meals fit for any royalty, and on her way to the White Tower, Rossa had only just managed. Cooking a fish caught with more luck than judgement over a fire without getting poisoned from incorrect preparation was about the limit of Rossa’s culinary abilities. She wondered if getting a book out of the library on cookery, particularly the baking of pies might not be a bad idea so she didn’t make a bad impression when she was finally raised.

 

That thought made her pen stop mid-scratch. When she was finally raised? She was getting ahead of herself again. She had to get through her time as an Accepted first, then and only then could she start thinking about whether to make sweet or savoury. Rossa quite liked the idea of doing a fish pie to show off some of the rural recipes from fishing villages around the coastline of Altara, but she also liked the idea of making a berry one. Rossa shook her head to get it back to the subject at hand. It wasn’t like her to be woolgathering, and if Sirayn Sedai found out then Rossa would likely be set another penance of serving Estel Sedai for a fortnight instead of a week.

 

Her attitude was beginning to change towards the Blue Sister as well. Finding her voice again, the one that was trained to rule as High Seat of House Venye rather than to be a henpecked Accepted, Rossa asked a question.

 

“What is your cause, if you do not mind my asking, Estel Sedai?”

Her Cause. That was always a tough one to answer. She remembered being only a few years older than Rossa and talking with Serena.

 

“However, my primary Cause would be… would be to help men who can channel. To improve their living conditions and help them live good lives while they were still sane. And help discredit the rumours about them and not make them seem like horrible monsters.”

 

"You do know, Accepted, that you are lucky you haven't told any of the other Sisters this. Even within the Blue Ajah, no matter what you have heard of our dislike of what the Reds stand for, many believe that male channellers should be Gentled. It is a tradition and Aes Sedai do not like to go against tradition."

 

She could always evade the question and had this been any other girl than an aspirant she would have. However, Estel felt she owed at least some version of the truth. If the girl was going to be a Blue Sister, it was imperative she have some sort of example to go by… not that Estel made a great example.

 

“Blues tend to guards their Causes jealously. Often they are based on very private, personal events. I have devoted my life to a number of Causes, among them finding a cure for blindness and speaking up for the victims of arranged marriages.”

 

ooc: blah...short

~Rossa~

 

An evasive answer, but it wasn’t seemly to be asking so many questions, no matter how much it might help her to explain things to Sirayn Sedai when they had the meeting Rossa was pensively awaiting at the end of this week. She liked it. The older woman was showing real strength of character here and the fact that it was tacitly encouraged to have a personal goal that ran alongside the best intentions of the White Tower was another bonus. Sitting on her bed later, exhausted and alone and kicking off shoes that felt too hot and tight, Rossa knew that from this moment on everything would be towards aspiring the Blue Ajah.

 

Feeling daring, Rossa smiled at Estel Sedai over the top of the journal and thanked her. “I think I may well have found the Ajah I am going to aspire to, Estel Sedai.” Usually, Rossa would not have made her choice so publicly but this was a different circumstance and an improved relationship here might prove to be fruitful in her later life, particularly when they were both sisters together. Her own Cause of finding out what had happened to her family would develop nicely into the rebuilding of her family name and honour by dint of feeding the hungry and educating people how to better look after themselves where other nobles merely squeezed for more taxes. To bring prestige to the White Tower and Tar Valon, and those in turn lending prestige to her own Cause… Rossa smiled.

 

“Thank you for everything, Estel Sedai.” Rossa rose and curtsied deeply to the Aes Sedai who sat there with no discernible expression on her Domani face. The curtsey was deeper than the woman’s rank strictly deserved, but sometimes gestures of flamboyance were necessary. Daes Dae’mar… She was so embroiled in it, Rossa wondered if she played the game of Houses in her sleep. Come to think of it, she probably did. It felt like a page had been turned in her history though, as though the final parts of the scene had been acted out, and the next one to begin. She had felt like this when she had arrived at the White Tower, out for nothing but vengeance and that had slowly moulded into something more purposeful. The Tower had shaped Rossa, but some fundamental things remained. And now she had a Cause.

 

OOC – That’s it – Rossa’s Ajah choice has been officially made and she will be aspiring to the Blues!