You've seen it before on plenty of forums, but here it is anyway because it's that much fun!  Corrupt the above poster's wish, make a wish of your own, and throw in some lovely Taint as a bonus!

 

 

 

Let's start things off right, I wish for a great big plate of brownies.

Granted. But you are allergic to chocolate.

 

I wish I could get a great laptop. 

Granted. But it would be powered by moon rocks and you can't get moon rocks.

 

I wish that tomorrow were a holiday

Ninja'd...

 

Granted, but it's the international holiday of stomping on peoples toes.

 

I wish I had a Yamaha R1 to spend weekends at the track racing motorcycles.

Granted, but ... *eats ur arms*

 

I wish I had a wonderful bottle of white wine to drink tonight

Granted! But you're out of poison.

 

I wish I was rid of this cold!

Granted but now u have the chicken pox

 

I wish i could have a new weapon to torture lighties

Granted, but the weapon uses your beauty as fuel and every time you use it you become slightly more deformed

 

I wish I could be done making all these meetings for work this week

Granted, but next week will be even more busy.

 

I wish I had more time in life.

Granted but then u're going to spend all that time stuck in my laboratory

 

I wish I had some tea

Granted, but it's poisoned.

 

I wish I could make good music just by thinking of it.

Granted but what u think to be good music will be folk music

 

I wish Ley would have the chicken pox

Granted, but then he gives them to the rest of us in an evolved form that causes all our skin to fall off

 

I wish I had the superpower of persuasion (Ex. Chael, you want to go get me a candy bar right now.  *Chael goes and gets me a candy bar)

Granted, but seeing u tried it on me, i'll make it backfire so you can do everything I SAY (and i'll say stab a lightie)

 

I wish I had a drumkit (pearl is good brand)

Granted, but you got MY drumkit (and believe me, it's really bad).

 

I wish that magic exists in this world and I am capable of using it.

Granted, but your magical power is the ability to make cockroaches flock to you

 

I wish I had the next next next generation XBox or Playstation already

Granted, but the first game you try to play causes the system to self-destruct into a million irreparable pieces.

 

 

I wish I could enter the fantasy world of any movie, book, or show of my choice.

Granted, but you will be a nameless minion of the bad guy.

 

I wish I could think of a wish.

but now your wish is wasted

 

I wish that I never had to go to school again but I could still get a job...

Granted, but the only job you can hold is to be a fry cook at McDonalds making minimum wage.  They won't even let you move up to the register due to lack of education.  The grease from the fries continuously coats your skin like a second skin, causing horrible skin diseases and the repetitive mindlessness of the work causes your brain to slowly eat itself from the inside out just for something to do.  You never have any money and never actually move out from living with your parents and eating only McDonalds food all the time causes you to be horribly unhealthy and also completely uninteresting as the only thing you can talk about at parties is the McRib sandwich and when it's coming back.  Finally, in your old age, just before you can retire from McD's to become a greeter at Wal-mart, aliens invade the earth and pronounce you the single most miserable creature in existence and grant you an eternal life of suffering by having to work in the same McD's forever so all the alien races can come and watch your misery as a museum exhibit.

 

I wish I thought happy thoughts.

Granted.  You thought happy thoughts.  For five minutes when you were one year old and couldn't understand what happy thoughts were.

 

 

I wish I could make fully-functioning clones of myself, and be able to banish them at will.

Granted, but with every clone created and banished you lose part of your mind.

 

 

I wish life was simple.

Granted but your life is soo simple now that u're getting really bored.

 

I wish i didn't have to go to work today

But then you'll have to work 25 hours a day, 400 days a year from tomorrow. No rest.

 

I wish I didn't have homework

Granted. But you have to take a mid-term exam hourly.

 

I wish for more brownies.