Wheel Funny: The Chosen Christmas List

This week, we have a few more filk songs sent in by Semirhage and Ishamael.

Chosen Christmas List (2005)  

By: Semirhage and Ishamael 

Semirhage wants 13 Aes Sedai to torture and turn.

Ishamael just wants someone else's eyes to burn.

Demandred wants the head of the Dragon Reborn under his tree.

To own Callandor is Osan'gar's only Christmas plea.

Aran'gar only wants to be a man,

Moghedien would like a place to hide for as long as she can.

Graendal, of course, wants another pretty pet.

Mesaana will take what ever she can get.

Cyndane wants to be tall.

Will the Great Lord grant any of these at all?

The Chosen XMAS Song (2012)

By Semirhage and Ishamael

The Dragon is roasting on an open fire

Trollocs nipping at his nose

Yuletide carols being sung by Darkfriends

And Gray Men dressed up like Eskimos

Everybody knows an angreal and the Dominion Rod

Help to make the season bright

Mesaana's tots with their eyes all aglow

Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that The Great Lord's on his way

He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh

And every Black Sister is gonna spy

To see if Draghkar really know how to fly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase

To my  Chosen and all of you

Although its been said

Many times, many ways

Merry Christmas to you...

*music* {10 stanzas}

Ishamael,

Lord of the  Chosen

Based on Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler"

From the point-of-view of the Dark One

By Charlotte

You got to know when to grovel,

Know when to worship,

Know when to hit the floor,

And know when to pray.

You never count your blessings,

When you're in the Great Lord's presence.

They'll be time enough for counting,

When the pain is done.