Is your wife a teacher or something?

 

And I spell it that way on purpose. America is dead, long live Amerika.

 

 

Lunch lady.

 

* does his Adam Sandler impression *

 

Sloppy Joe...Slop...Sloppy Joe.

Would you like an apple pie?

Oh man do I pity you.

Me? What for...?  ???

I was actually pitying Gwampy. I wouldn't want to be married to a lunchlady.

 

Uh, not that I'm not certain your wife is a wonderful, lovely person, Gwampy *shifty*

Rey, maybe you've forgotten, but he's married to Jennifer Lopez

No, but she might as well be (in my eyes)...most beautiful mother of three on the face of the earth (she might be "listening", you see).

0<0

0>0

 

I won't be spamming evenings for a while...starting the "old folks" shift this afternoon...stay up late...sleep in late...no alarm clock...the house to myself all day while the wife is at work.  :)

0>0

0<0

 

Sloppy Joe...slop...Sloppy Joe. (she hates that song)  :D  I like it.  :D

You know her?

 

When's she gonna come?

And the chicken pot pie...

That's also the college-age slacker schedule.

*smack*

* feeling a little rusty *

I haven't put on a First Fool's performance in some time.

* doubts that anyone really cares one way or the other *

* ponders *

Should I waste a half hour thinking up a fake performance?

Or, should I go take care of the "honey do" list that the wife left?

* ponders some more *

Do what I want to?

Do what I should do?

Please me?

Behave and do like I'm told?

Try to tickle the fancy of a few spammers spread all over the world?

Try to gain favor with the wife?

* can't stand any more pondering...too much like work *

* throws back the house coat to show off his white cloak *

* takes off the white cloak and folds it neatly *

Hey...I'm a neat Court Bard, OK?

>:(

* considers taking off the florescent pink shirt and bright purple pants that his Tinker friends gave him *

* decides the Tinker clothes match his lime green First Fool's hat just fine...and the audiences usually don't like to see him naked...leaves the clothes on *

* tugs at the tops of his knee-high boots in case he wants to do a ballet routine...need the toes nice and tight for that *

* puts on his gleeman's coat with all of the secret pockets...that's where he keeps his balls *

* ponders *

Am I ready?

Hat...check.

Coat...check.

Clothes...check.

Boots...check.

* feels the secret pockets *

Balls...check.

Knives...check.

Torches...check.

Milk bones...left over from the visit to Wolfkin...check.

Overall appearance...

* notices a spot of the Tinker's vegetarian chili spilled on his coat *

* picks off the dried up chunk of tomato...or onion...or garlic, maybe...tastes it...pops it into his mouth *

Still good!!!

;D

* licks his finger and dabs at the smudge of chili *

* licks it off and goes back for more *

Just can't get enough of that good vegetarian chili!!!

;D

* stain is nearly not noticeable *

* pretty well gone *

:(

* considers Travelling to the wagons to get some more *

* decides against it...the half hour is getting away fast...better get back to the performance *

Overall appearance...check.

 

Now.

What to do.

I'm pretty sure I've juggled my beautiful balls here before.

I probably ate fire...don't remember.

I'm almost positive that I've told a tale or two?

* ponders *

I don't remember singing.

Or playing the harp.

Ballet?

* ponders some more *

Oh, what the frog-spit!!!

I'll do all three!!!

;D

* waits for a response from the audience *

* not so much as a whisper *

* nothing *

Tough crowd.

:o

 

* strolls over to where his harp is stored in it's case *

* takes it out *

* puts it back *

* looking disgusted *

>:(

This crowd probably wouldn't go for the harp, anyway!

* half hour is almost gone *

* turns and plugs in his REALLY HUGE guitar amp *

* plugs in his Les Paul (Epiphone...can't afford the Gibson) *

* waits for the tubes to warm up, then cranks the amp up to MAX volume *

* throws back the tails of his First Fool's hat letting the bells on the ends of the tails jingle *

* turns and takes a big old toke of some good Two Rivers tabac...holds it...turns back grinning *  ;D

* gives his guitar a couple of Pete Townsend style smacks in the key of E *

* lets the sound gradually fade *

* from somewhere in the distance comes the rest of the band playing "Black Magic Woman"...they're waiting for Gwampy to play the lead *

* Gramps is pleased, indeed *

* makes that LP scream *

* appears to be almost in a trance *

* such sweet, sweet music *

* he's having too much fun *

>:D

* the half hour expires *

*Gwampy is set up by the surviving members of Led Zeppelin, wielding tomahawks and surly expressions and LOADED T' THE GILLS W' ALCHY*

Edward or elric?

Morgendorffer?

??!

*sticks worms on the end of Mog's question marks and casts them into the lake on the ends of fishing lines*

 

It's barracuda season!

Moggy you must be some sort of daria

Can't stay and play today.

Grandkids are waking up.

Have a great Labor Day weekend!

(don't forget to spam the Honeymoon thread...just like the telethon...every little bit helps the cause...except we're not looking for a cure, we're just adding to the addiction  ;D )

See, badvis understood!

*and gets stuck in the tar that he is composed of*

*pulls Jelly free with a schlooping sound*

 

Hmm.

 

*feathers*

*is tarred by association*

 

ahahaha ...

Good grief you can't keep your hands to yourself can you

Over two years of not smoking and I'm still oozing TAR!!!  >:( 

(and craving nicotine)

 

Don't you youngsters ever even consider touching the devil's weed...it will haunt you for all of your days!!!  BEWARE!!!  :o

 

Wait.

That's what they told me.

Forty years ago.

Did I listen?

Nope.

:(