I don't think it takes kindly to orders like that.

How would you know? I'm the Cheese! I know what it says and don't says!

There once was a Gwampy from Mobile

 

Who's life was as dull as a bull's heel.

 

He tightened his gut

 

And opened his butt.

 

"Guess that just ain't no big deal."

 

==============================================================

GrandpaG original...brand new today.  :D

Mobile... bull's heel... mobile... bull's heel...

 

meh, works  :D

He's Gwampy

It has to work even if doesn't :P

* GrandpaG stands up straight and faces those who remain seated in his circle *

* checks the shine on the top of his shoes *

* it's OK *

* looks back up *

I'm GrandpaG.

And I'm...a...spamaholic.

* eyes drop back to shoes *

* they stay fixed on the reflection *

* he's deep in reflection *

* the others respond in unison *

Welcome, GrandpaG.

* the monotone echo reverberates then fades *

* the old guy's eyes show some moistness *

* head still down *

* courage is coming up, though *

* he slowly raises his head and faces his peers *

I'm getting better.

* a long thoughtful pause *

At the peak of my spaminess, I visited Fiddlesticks every day.

Other parts of Dragonmount, too...but mainly Fiddlesticks.

I...enjoyed...being there.  :-[

* eyes start to sag shoe ward once more *

* but Gramps snaps his head back up defiantly *

* throws his shoulders back *

* puffs out his chest *

* glares proudly at the crowd *

I'll make no excuses for my past.

At that time, I had no idea how things would end.

I had not yet realized the dangers of repeated trips into the amazingly wonderful world of fantasy.

* what he has just admitted sinks in *

* his eyes bulge *

:o

* he covers his eyes with the palms of his hands *

* his knees give out *

* he tumbles backward into his chair *

* his body shudders and he begins to weep...loudly...shamelessly *

* hands appear from both directions to pat his shoulders in knowing sympathy *

It's OK, GrandpaG.

We understand.

* the old dude sobs, then produces a colorful handkerchief from his left sleeve *

* a really long one *

* it's tied to another *

* that one's kinda pink colored and silky to the touch *

* he keeps tugging and more are produced *

* as the last one exits, he gives it a flourish *

* the crowd applauds *

* most of the other spammers are smiling *

* the leader frowns at them *

Don't encourage him!

>:(

* abashed looks abound *

:-[

 

 

* from downstairs the news arrives *

This chili is nice and hot!

Come and get some!

 

 

* GrandpaG realizes that he has been spamming the Gwampy thread again *

* feels slightly shamed...yet, somehow...GOOD! *

* showing how much control he has gained over his habit, GrandpaG goes to eat some chili *

;D

 

Bye for now,

Love,

Gramps

lol

The wife has lured you away with chili again :P

its obviously good chilli, if it distracts from spam :P

I declare you a lapsed spammer, Gwampy *inscribes a large letter F on his forehead*

its ok, I got an F too

You should set higher standards for yourself.

OK IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

"Ook" is a sound monkeys make on the television.

I maked that sound too!

I declare you a lapsed spammer, Gwampy *inscribes a large letter F on his forehead*

 

* rubs at the F *

* won't come off *

* channels some Air into a bottle *

* points the bottle mouth toward the F *

* releases the Air *

* tries some Spirit *

* doesn't work *

* mixes some Fire and Earth just so *

* makes the F flare up briefly, then turn brown *

 

CRAP!!!

 

>:(

 

* spots a bottle of lipstick remover sitting conveniently on a nearby table *

 

Hey...this is fantasy...ANYTHING is possible!!!  ;D

 

* picks up the handily available cotton ball from the table *

* pours some remover into the cotton ball *

* looks into the mirror hanging on the wall right where it should be *  ;)

* dabs the lipstick remover onto the F *

* the F slowly fades, then totally disappears *

 

I should have known from the start how her majesty would mark me.  :-*

 

 

* is hung over from all of the Halloween candy *

* grandkids had fun at Gwampy's house *

* time to put the jack-o-lanterns onto the compost heap *

* candles go in the garbage...wouldn't know where to look for them by next Halloween if we did keep them...such a waste of good wax *

 

Gwampy got a nice new treadmill for Halloween...gotta go assemble it.

Bye for now.

Love,

Gramps

you get presents for halloween!??! wut

I'm paying for it with cigarette money...does that count as a present?  ::)

 

Maybe a present to myself of a few extra years of existence by exchanging smoking for exercise?  ;)

 

Better get off my butt and get busy assembling.  :)

thats a good way to pay for it :)

*has in fact chiselled it into Gwampy's forehead much like Manson did*

Well one of you is hallucinating.

uhhh, thats me mac

*lets slugs crawl up your nose*

I'm paying for it with cigarette money...does that count as a present?  ::)

 

Maybe a present to myself of a few extra years of existence by exchanging smoking for exercise?  ;)

 

Better get off my butt and get busy assembling.  :)

 

*waves shyly at Gwampy*

(he's not there)

(neither are you)