I bring you Terry Goodkind to join his books in your bonfire, Great Lord!

O Supremely gorgeous and most powerful Dark One! I grovel at your perfect feet! *grovels*

 

Please accept my most humble tribute! I bring to your too worthy eyes a harem of sexy contortionists! They boast of being able to contort to any figure you can imagine!

 

*grovels*

Oh, might BARM! *Worships*

 

I bring.... I bring... Three kinds of cookies. Milk to go with them... and and and, a really cute (but evil) Puppy!

Oh great and powerful and wonderful DO. It seems I made a mistake with the other books, instead I give you this book, bound in gold and platinum and other shiney metals, but it weighs nothing in your wonderful hands. Just think of the book you want to read and it shall appear in on the pages. But the one set books it will not produce is SoT :)

Oh great, powerful, and terminally sexy DO, I bring you this

 

*Shows his gift*

 

The rites to the legend of the seeker. You can now burn them or whatever you wish to do with them.

*Grovels*

 

Oh great and masterful DO i bring you this golden menu. It has every imaginable food on it. All you must do wonderful DO is select what you desire to eat and it will be cooked to perfection and served by a Hooters girl.

DSAGE - MATCHES AND GASOLINE ARE GOOD. 3 POINTS

JELLY - UNEXCITING. 1 POINT

MYSTICA - I'M BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, OF COURSE I DESERVE THE POWER. FOR PUNISHMENT THOUGH, I SENTENCE YOU TO THE BLACK AJAH DUNGEONS.

DAMANE - I ALREADY HAVE THAT - 1 POINT FOR THE THOUGHT THOUGH.

DSAGE - WONDERFUL! 5 POINTS

FDM - THIS IS PLEASING, 4 POINTS

CARYWN - 3 KINDS OF COOKIES IS PATHETICALLY LACKING. ALSO, CUTE PUPPIES ARE FOR FOOLS. 0 POINTS

TALYA - I ALREADY RECEIVED ONE OF THOSE FROM DAMANE. ALSO, GOLD IS GETTING TIRESOME. 0 POINTS

DRAGONSWORN - THE CORRECT SPELLING IS RIGHTS. BRING ME THE RIGHTS TO THAT AND I SHALL AWARD YOU POINTS. I HAVE NO USE FOR RITES. - 0 POINTS

DAMANE - ANYMORE GOLD FROM ANYONE AND I SHALL START DEDUCTING POINTS. 3 POINTS FOR THE REST OF IT THOUGH.

*grovels*

 

Please forgive me me oh, mighty and amazing DO, I bring you the rights to the legend of the seeker.

 

*Grovels*

*grovels and cowers and begs for forgiveness*

 

i bring to you superior DO this roll of tiolet paper, and this margarita on the rocks.

O most funny and entertaining Barm!

 

I bring to your the dead corpse of the Taco Bell dog, since you seemed to hold him in such high esteem. He shall be stuffed and set on a pedestal of gold for all of your minions to admire.

 

*grovels*

O sweet and glorious Barm! I bring you the Most Evil Thing, for you to laugh at!

 

http://tinyurl.com/most-evil-thing

 

*grovels some more*

Oh wonderful and all powerful DO. You make me happy by not taking away more points. On the way here I picked up all the comedy awards that you have won across the world, yes it was all of them, and I have placed them in this special cabinet that will eat anyone, who even thinks, let alone says anything about being funnier than you. Your wit abounds and leaves us in awe and wonder of your quick witted mind.

DRAGONSWORN - MUCH BETTER - 3 POINTS

DAMANE - 2 POINTS FOR THE MARGARITA

FDM - 5 POINTS FOR THE DOG

FDM - I DON'T DO LINKS, PARTICULARLY ONES I RECOGNIZE. 0 POINTS

TALYA - YOUR GIFT WILL PROVIDE MUCH AMUSEMENT. 5 POINTS

Oh Great and Fantabulous DO of DOOOOOOOM!  I apologize for my great and long absence.  Surely I was insane to have stayed away from this warm and cozy environment for so very long.  o.o

 

In apology and in love I bring you gifts!  *pulls out a sack of wet cats*  These should come in handy for your most irritating enemies!  Just set them loose and they facecling your enemy, scratching and hissing!  Very evil, very effective, very painful!

Oh great and wonderful Spidacral DO, I present you with a Master at Arms that you may torture and whip as you see fit for all eternity.  And I hereby proclaim your funnyness to the world.  And....*searches pockets*.....I have some lint.

BARM, You're pretty darn awesome ;)

 

you: 8) (SO AWESOME!)

Oh mighty DO, I bring you this:

 

It is a scotch glass, that always refills when ever you want a drink.

MIGHTELOVE - WET CATS ARE A FUN TOY, 4 POINTS

VERBAL - GET SOME NEW MATERIAL, 1 POINT

DEMI - 2 POINTS FOR THE COMPLIMENT

DRAGONSWORN - THATS A FANTASTIC GLASS. 5 POINTS

ONE MORE DAY AND MANY MORE POINTS TO BE GIVEN OUT.

Oh mighty and powerful dark one, I present you with this gift - the next mafia game I run will not be a replay of a game you already know, so you will not be barred from it.

 

 

Oh, top-hatted one, I present you with this tuxedo, that your avatar might be dressed in it

Oh, all consuming one, I present you with this, the greatest gift of all - the gift of a fifth page in your thread!

Dearest, Greatest, Most Wonderful and Powerful DO-

 

I do, hereby, grant thee the greatest gift of all!  *hands over Pandora's Box AND her first born child*

 

>.>

 

Have at.

Most fantastically amazing DO,

 

I bring you a new tv. This tv is not just a giant plasma screen, it also only plays the shows you want to watch, when you want to watch them. Think tivo on steroids.

Oh glorious BarmDO, I present you with this special cologne.  It's called Sex Panther by Odeon.  It's illegal in 9 countries.  60% of the time, it works every time.  *nods*

 

And I also present you with a reincarnated Taco Bell dog.  Granted, it's a Shitzhu now, but hey - he still talks.  In Dutch, though.  :-\