I don't get why everyone always says torture in description of my assaults. That implies prolonging the experience.

That's right, she is like the hunter that stalks

Arrive, raise hell, leave. Pretty simple.

You are a simple woman

simply amazing :D

Flab your nose is so brown I could grow petunias on it

His beard is so grand he could lure Harry Potter with it.

The only place Flab is capable of growing a beard is on his rump, and I won't judge him if he wants to lure a hairy potter in there.

my rump-beard is rather marvellous, thankyouverymuch!!

if only, if only

Go on, make some Cousin Itt "meep meep" noises. You know you want to.

FB luring harry potters since '11

Into his butt. And since I own his butt, I get a 95% cut of the gate.

You get 95% share?

I charge admission to his butt, and 5% goes to the concession stands.

So what's the projected takings

His dignity, if nothing else.

But he doesn't have any

True, but I like to remind him of that fact.

And thus quashing all hope

And squishing the peanut buttered bananas underfoot.

Damn you making me hungry

Get away from my feet, badsludge.

But I love the taste of marshmellow and turpentine