Far: the future looks so bright!                Empy: Then wear some sunglasses!

How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?

 

She can wash her crack and sell it again.

 

 

 

 

 

Courtesy of my BIL.

Barmy: 1

Gerr: 3

Eli: 10

Rey: 3

Ashaman: 3

CCS: 2

FDM: 3

Claire: 5

Empy: 2

TMD: -1

 

Didn't I get two points? :P

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labour!"

 

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

 

He says, "No! This is her husband!"

 

~~~

 

An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are called upon to test a

lie detector.

 

The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of

beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles".

And the machine is silent.

 

The American says: "I think I can eat 15

hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8

hamburgers". And the machine's silent.

 

The Irish says: "I think...",

BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.