No, I sent those spiders to haunt you.

No wonder they're doing so poorly; haunting is a ghost's job. 

Ghost spiders. Ghost spiders everywhere

Spiders don't have souls, Barm.

That is what they want you to think.

And neither do Canadians.

I'm sorry.

THAT IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE

http://imgur.com/gallery/BWuohCK

I am so ashamed of you.

I feel like if you said otherwise, I would probably pinch myself to wake up from my dream.

Try it anyway. See if it works!

*pinches self*

 

....

It didn't work?

Maybe you need to pinch yourself harder. Try again.

I thought if you pinched yourself you'd go blind?

No, I think that's jerking off that's supposed to do that.

Scooping your eyeballs out with a spoon and taping them to the cat will do it too.

No, I'm pretty sure you can still see after that. Isn't that how you get those cat-cam videos?

I'd like to introduce you to a concept called cameras. I won't though.

Clearly you have forgotten my spy network.

Do your spies use cameras?

And the Honeymoon continues on.

Except that neither of the original participants have been here for years (and one of them married Barm of all things) so who knows for sure.

The day those two finally meet I'm totally going to carve up a watermelon for them to eat.