and then supposedly "I WA SJSUST ONT THW PHEOEN WITH AHRRYSBSTUELS HES SO SWEET OH MY HOD HE WAS A LITTLW DRUNK BUT HE HAS THE SWEETEST VOCEICIXUE AND HES SO NICE AND FUCJ THIS IS THE BEST SAY OF MY LFIE"

aka i don't believe it because it seems unlikely AND if i believe it i might cry

bc like those types of things never even happen to anyone i know??

much less to me haha

jealousy is dumb though I hate it and it's something i struggle a lot with

like why can't i just be happy for other people without spoiling it by being jealous

i used to get really jealous of my friend bc she has this amazing best friend (now her boyfriend too) and like they are just so perfect for each other and before they got together I totally supported that because they are just fantastic

and i truly am happy for them all the time and it excited me so much when they became official

and then i'd get these random moments of jealousy bc i wish i could have someone like that and i'm too impatient to care about the future haha

and to be fair because i USED to have someone like that but not anymore and so i kinda missed it too and so i was a little bitter about that

so i'd feel jealous and then really horrible and guilty because honestly how can i be jealous of my friend whom i love very dearly and whom i am VERY happy for???

but i was and i'm still not sure i've accepted that about myself like that it's normal or okay for that to happen because it's not, and what kind of a friend am i if i can ACTUALLY be jealous at the same time as i'm really happy for them?

and i still wonder that

awesome okay goodnight

Night Meesh :)

Well, is definitely summer now

Where are my wellies...

Edited June 23, 201313 yr by Crimson_Ayla