Thank you. You too..

The fine, revered day

Where we celebrate the end of Thursday

And we get to celebrate it once a week.

What's up with counting age by year, anyway?

If I was in charge

We would celebrate my birthday every month.

And you would all run out of money trying to buy me presents

And I would be king.

A year accounts for the full rotation of the Earth around the sun.

A monthly birthday?

I guess we would be older faster but look younger.

What's up with counting age by year, anyway?

 

It is a nice time span which allows a reasonable depiction of one's lifetime up to this point without being overly precise and hard to remember, like counting months. Additionally, it fits nicely in the passing of the seasons, which of course repeat themselves every year.

Yeah but

Do you know how much cool stuff I would have if I was 391?

Except your birthday would be a lot less special and you'd get a lot less cool stuff.

Also you're 32 years old.

Even if I give everyone ice cream?

Like, every time

People love ice cream

There will be spumoni.

It's not a birthday without spumoni.

All I request is expensive presents and/or cash.

Who wants to eat spumoni alone?

Losers, that's who.