"I fail to see the attraction in drinking hot, soapy bathwater. Weirdo."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"I am not interested in having a cat fight on top of me at 5:30 AM. Do you understand me?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Kate. You do not need more plastic in your diet. No, you do not."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Daww... Cute, fuzzy little predator."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

 

This came with a photo:

"You can calm down now. I will let you."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"You are far too fat to jump on my head. Don't even think about it."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"You, my dear, have a very fluffy butt."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"I'm very proud of the great strides you're making in not being a complete weirdo."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Do you realize how round you are?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Yes, you're very sweet and lovey. Pardon me if I'm skeptical, you did just try to bite my forehead."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Did you seriously just sigh at me? Am I boring you?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Dude. If you're going to puke, get off my stuff."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Why is your butt on my head? Oh, that's right. You're a butthead."

#thingmycatsmakemesay

"I can't see through you. You're black."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"What are you telling the neighbors all about now?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Can I please interest you in not being in my way?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Did I say I wanted a kitty? Did I? Hmm? Ok, FINE. I have a kitty."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Do you mind settling down, please? And by settling down, I do not mean "smashing my arm". Thank you."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Look at you, all up in my face, with your big big eyes... and ears... pointed back. Are you trying to steal my soul?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Aww, patting my face... how very cute. PLEASE RETRACT YOUR CLAWS."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Do you have any idea how much I want you to shut up?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Aww, good morning lover boy! Such love... so sweet... so... please don't bite my forehead >.<"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"What is this, a hostile takeover? Have we not had this discussion? MY PILLOW!"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay

"Hello! Your name is Kittygo Monkitty. You are lying on the bed cutely. Prepare to be smooched."

#thingsmycatsmakemesay #princessbride

"Did he just bite your butt?"

#thingsmycatsmakemesay