I reserve the right to edit these with amusing pictures after they go up.

Bonus Reason: I corrupted the task!!! (mwahahaha)

1) “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” 

2) “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” 

3) “Well, that's an evil smile...” 

4) “Let's just say you may regret that second piece of cake.'
Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was about to happen must be truly evil.” 

5) “Neither love nor evil conquers all, but evil cheats more.” 

6) “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

7) “Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.” 

8) “Most of the bad guys in the real world don't know that they are bad guys. You don't get a flashing warning sign that you're about to damn yourself. It sneaks up on you when you aren't looking.” 

9) “Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him.” 

 

Edit: Numbering

10) “Some loves have to be given up, others have to be forgotten. Strange as it may sound, if you think of me as a monster, but I can love most passionately. I do not think of myself as evil.” 

All of those quotes have to deal with evil (obviously).

 

I can't hand out points, but I think a few of our higher ups MIGHT give out a few if people can ID where they come from.

*bats eyelashes*

Now for the 40 reasons that I'm actually NOT as evil as I thought I was.

1. The ventilation shafts in my lair are too small to crawl through.

2) The half-brother whose throne I have usurped has been killed, not kept imprisoned in some forgotten cell of my dungeon.

3) Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

4) The artifact that is the source of my power is NOT kept in the Tomb of Despair, beneath the River of Fire, guarded by the Dragons of Aeternus. It IS in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

5) I do not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

6) When my adversary has been captured, and he asks, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?", I'll say, "No." and shoot him. Strike that, on second thought I'll shoot him, then say "No."

7) After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

8) I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it IS necessary, it will not be a large, red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

9) I do not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel room, well outside my borders, works just fine.

10) I am secure in my superiority. Therefore, I feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

11) One of my advisors is my five-year-old niece. Any flaws in my plans that she is able to spot are corrected before implementation.

12) All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.