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Azrael's Tech Support Saga

Canukistani
Canukistani
in Shayol Ghul

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So... after a staff meeting lasting longer than an hour yesterday, I then had to spend some time with The Boss and reassure her that the "Browse..." button allowing her to upload a PDF document to a government website was indeed not opening up our entire corporate network to the recipient, despite the fact that the textbox beside said Browse button displayed the path of the file in question.

 

I further attempted to explain to her that our corporate network does not extend beyond the physical copper cables running through the building, and has security in place to allow only appropriate users access to the files even when they're connected to the system.

 

She still wasn't entirely convinced, and "recommended" that I call and speak with the "TI" person on the other end, just to make sure.

 

... Of course.

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    Technologically inept people shouldn't be allowed as bosses in places that have networks. i.e. pretty much anywhere. Honestly, how hard would it be to give these people a crash course in tech common sense? *sigh* and the TI people? nice one :P

     

    A friend of mine was at one of the computers in his college library when he tried to log onto a website, I think it was gmail or hotmail (this was a few years back) and the librarian was convinced that he somehow was trying to hack into the schools files and corrupt them. Why? and How? Seriously.

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    Me: Thank you for choosing Sh-

    Him: I'm getting ready to move back to Holland.

    Me: Ok, how can-

    Him: I want to keep Shaw but *undecipherable garble in Dutch*

    Me: I beg your pardon?  I didn't quite-

    Him: *More Dutch with occational English word thrown in for comfort*

    Me: *pulls up account from phone number*

    Me: *24 pages of notes on this account describing how the customer thinks he's the "King of Canada" and we should do what he wants*

    Him: *undecypherable english/Dutch hybrid conversation continuing*  Do you know what I mean?

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw. *deactivates customer's phone service for 4 hours*

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    about an hour ago the power went out.  for me it lasted about 1second.  just long enough for the lights to flicker and my comp to turn off.  other people were not so fortunate and seem to think that the cable/isp is also the power company.....poor, poor Azrael.  Now he needs to learn to troubleshoot poweroutages.

     

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you tonight?

    Him: I have no power at my house right now.  I was wondeing why not?

    Me: Well it looks like there is a power outage affecting all of the southern Vancouver Island

    Him: Well, why can't I surf?  My laptop should provide enough power.

    Me: No sir, you'll need an active modem to comunicate with other devices in the area.  If power is out in the area, no other devices will be working.

    Him: Oh, ok then.  Good bye.

     

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you tonight?

    Her: I'm trying to cook my turnkey.

    Me: O...k.  How can we help you with that?

    Her: I need my power back.

    Me: You... you've reached Shaw Cable.  We don't provide power to your house.

    Her: What?  Who does?

    Me: Probably BC Hydro.  Try calling them and see what they have to say.

    Her: Really?  they have phones?

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw.  Bye-bye now.

     

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you tonight?

    Him: I'm really getting sick of this.

    Me: I beg your pardon?

    Him: My power is out... AGAIN!

    Me: You've reached Shaw Cable.  we provide Cablevision, internet and phone service, not power.

    Him: Don't try to pass the buck on this one.  I'm sick of getting the run around from you people.  Turn my power back on NOW! *click*

     

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you tonight?

    Him: My power turned off and now I can't go online.

    Me: Do you have power back yet?

    Him: No, will I need that?

    Me: Yes, yes you will.

    Him: Ok, I'll call back once the power is up.

     

     

    Me: Thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you tonight?

    Him: I just called to thank you for restoring power to our house so quickly.

    Me: *sigh* Well thank you, but it wasn't us.  BC Hydro is responsible for all your electricity so you should really call them and let them know how appreciative you are of their quick service.

    Him: Oh, could you do that for me?  I have to get back to cooking my turkey.

    Me: Sure, why not.  I'll get right on that.  Thank you for choosing Shaw Power Services.

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    Me: thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you today?

    Her: My computer is not working.

    Me: Ok, well the modem is online.  what message are you getting on your computer when you try to go online?

    Her: The message is when I boot up.  It says "Memory source is corrupt." What would cause that?

    Me: A virus is the most likely culprit.

    Her: It's not a virus.  this computer doesn't go online.

    Me: It doesn't?  what do you do with it?

    Her: I teach Kindergarten and use it for referance materials like pictures and shapes.  The children pay attention to the screen.

    Me: I bet.  Tell me, have the children been using it themselves?

    Her: er... yes.  they were.  They wouldn't be able to do anything to it though... They're just kids.

    Me: Ma'am... Take your computer in to a PC tech and get him to fix it.

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    Me: "Thank you for choosing Shaw, how can we help you today?"

    Her: "I was wondering if you could give me some information on my account please?"

    Me: "Absolutely.  Let's just bring up your account in the system here and I'll be able to get your info no problem.  What city are you calling from?"

    Her: "What?  Edmonton obviously!  Wait a second... what city are you in?"

    Me: "We're in Nanaimo, in BC."

    Her: "I KNOW where Nanaimo is young man!  Transfer me to an Edmonton rep immediately."

    Me: "Uh... ok.  I can do that.  It's just that-"

    Her: "Shut up.  I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say.  Just transfer me NOW!"

    Me: "Ok.  I can-"

    Her: "I said SHUT UP!.  Are you STUPID or just DEAF?"

    Me: *disco call* "Oops.  I must have hit the disconnect button instead of the transfer button.  Oh well, I'm almost positive that a call that was transferred to the Overflow system will route to the local system the 2nd time around."

     

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    Why Azrael won't play D&D with his Mom.

     

    You're going to make me go through this, aren't you.

     

    *sigh*

     

    Fine.  She was playing a Ranger with studded leather, short sword and short bow.  While in the Dungeon she tried to see if anyone had been past recently, I said yes that it looked like there was traffic through the hallways fairly recently.  She examined the door, it was wood reinforced with Iron Banding.  She tried to bash the door in and rolled poorly.  The door didn't fly open, so she tried the handle and walked in.

    As she stepped into the room, she was hit in the chest by 3 x-bow bolts dropping her to -2 hp.  then the discussion began about how she opened the door. 

    She: "I try the handle"

    Me: "It turns with no difficulty."

    She: "I open the door and step inside the room."

    Me: *rolls d20 x8*  "You get hit by 3 crossbow bolts."  *rolls 3x d6* "How many HP do you have?  Ouch.  you're unconscious."

    She: "What?  How would they even be able to see me?"

    Me: "Well, when the heavy Oak door failed to be smashed apart, you alerted everyone in the room that you were coming.  they all picked up their weapons and shot you when you walked in."

    She: "Well, I would have entered the room more cautiously that just stepping in."

    Me: "Um... you said 'I step into the room.' I took that to mean that you stepped into the room."

    She "I WOULDN'T DO THAT!!!"

    Me: "Mom... I just applied what you told me to the game.  If you step into a room full of people with weapons, they're going to attack you."

    She: "STOP BEING A BRAT!  YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T JUST STEP INTO A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE!"

     

    And the fun begins.... You can extrapolate how the game went from there.

     

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