I'd go with an announce team of Gaidal and Birgitte, given their role as literal outside observers. Probably have a one-off line to lampshade the fact that this shouldn't make sense given that they were both incarnate in one form or another during the bulk of the series.

 

Also, I'd go back at least a decade or more for a base for announcers; these days they very rarely call the action in the ring, and spend most of their time discussing the characters and storylines (when they're not going off on some irrelevant tangent). You want to listen to Jim Ross / Jerry Lawler, or Bobby Heenan / Gorilla Monsoon for classic examples.

Edited April 12, 201312 yr by reyler

Gorilla Monsoon?  Former wrestler?

Yes. After his in-ring career wrapped up, he spent like a decade or two on the announce desk.

So tragic. *dabs eyes*

*with vinegar*

:adds baking soda:

OCULAR VOLCANISM *videotapes*

*cries*

Not good enough! *applies crescent wrench*

...*sobs*?

LIKE A LITTLE BABY *mashes beets all over your face*

I wonder what else will turnip?

You show up here after a month just to deliver a vegetaional pun.

 

*shoves you headfirst up the rhinoceros*

As opposed to me who shows up after a month without any vegetational puns. 

You people exist purely to disappoint me.

We are like robots made with love.

Oh, I could use some of that *disassembles you into your component parts*

*it was all a lie*

*does not regret her actions*

*regrets her actions for the both of us*

I REGRET EVERYTHING

 

Now, don't say that.  Surely you've had some good times?

I SHALL SAY THE THINGS I WISH TO SAY

Ah, well.  Wishes are like redheads.

Being slowly bred out of the gene pool?