*ties Boyo's tongue to the hitching post*

*pours salt on it*

*it shrivels up due to actually being a slug*

*Force-feeds reyler the slug*

*has definitely never wanted Boyo's tongue in her mouth* 

...

That escalated quickly

Only to those of you what weren't paying attentions

I'm kinda not wanting to pay attention to who's slug or tongue or what have you is where

And that's why you don't get invited to those sorts of parties.

Well, I do, I just don't go. 

 

Well, okay, there was that one time, but that's really why I don't go.  Gardening parties are so weird

That's not what "au naturel" means. Get some French.

I know what Au Gratin means at least

No, you know what "augh, rotten!" means, and it means you.

Quite possibly, yes., 

*covers you in baking soda*

Arm & Hammer brand? *Uses his arm to hammer Ireond*

Better that than any other segments of your anatomy.

Gross.

Your feet are pretty disgusting.

Naw, I cleaned them last year. They are great.

"Most Likely to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse" is, I'm assuming, due to the zombies being unable to tell your scent apart from their own?

It took me a minute to figure out what you were even talking about. I have no idea why they picked me for that award.

Well, zombies are reputed to attack people so they can eat brains, so...

Indeed, and since the ones with the least brains tend to die fastest, along with the slow and fat people who can't outrun them, clearly I'm fantastic, intelligent, fast, fit. It is good to be me.

ORRRRR there's just nothing there for them to bother with. Nothing in your head but spiders.