Have a good one, Smiley!

The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.

Byeeeeeeee Smiley!

I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

 

OH MAN, THIS ONE MADE ME LAWL SO HARD!!

She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can’t sing worth a darn.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

Kids -

 

"I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave

Which reminds me of this....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPsSzLnXJkg

"I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old

Kids -

 

"I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave

One of my little brothers used to say that. We still use it sometimes.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

"I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

 

*scratches head*

You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

"I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.

Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.

The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.

Those are hilarious

"Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens

"Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father

LAWL that's funny!!