i really have to stop getting attached to these thigns that come and go at will.

 

Only how? I'd love to as well...

Extra happy for when they come back :)

i really have to stop getting attached to these thigns that come and go at will.

 

Only how? I'd love to as well...

 

 

i have no idea.

 

it's distressing.

Extra happy for when they come back :)

 

 

when they come back they will have to catch up on everything they didn't get done while they were gone and they will be tired and won't come over or go anywhere with me.

 

they go to the grandparents, who are elderly, and unwell, and who require much attention.

 

and i am selfish and silly and they are doing exactly as they should and i will be fine.

 

and there, that's the meds kicking in.

 

if only they wouldn't kick back out.

....calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, twilit pine wood, twilit pine wood....

 

anxiety attacks are mercifully brief, though frequent.

peaceful now

except alice in wonderland is totally creeping me out...

shhhhhhh.... it's alright....

one night, about... wow...a long long time ago, many years, i was... being anxious and lonely in a chat room a little bit like this.

 

it was empty, though there were lurkers.

 

finally, this boy came into the room and just said, shhhhh.... it's alright....

 

and.... it was.

 

it was such a small kindness. but it's all i needed at that moment.

 

we got to be pretty good friends.

 

i hope he's happy wherever he is and whatever he's doing.

 

it's not likely... he was... more depressed than me. fun and funny but moody and dark.

 

but i hope he figured out how to exist.

 

he made me happy. and then relaly angry and sad.

 

but the happy outweighs all that cause i'd have been angry and sad on my own and never been happy like that.

*drinks to bbg and wishes him well and happy*

It looks like I'm alone again tonight.

Conversation last night:

 

Me: Will you be home tomorrow night.

 

Her: Of course I will be.

 

*looks around townhouse*

 

Nope, doesn't look like it.

Hmm...watch movie by myself or kill zombies...

could always trawl for company on the internet

From Dr. Ian Malcolm (it fits) - "See, here I'm now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory."

YAY I'm not alone!

 

Hi Cindy!

I'm half gone but there's half a world waking up

but hi :)

I'm wide awake...never good.

medicine

*hyper, wants to talk*

 

Wait...where did boy go? :( How long has he been gone??

which one

One that it is not like him to leave online without saying goodnight or texting.

I have no idea who that is

Just a friend from SC.