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[s]Goal: 100,000 New Goal: 200,000[/s] New Goal: 250.000

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banana.

 

one of the things flashing through my brain like gunpowder all night and not letting me sleep was the repeatedly typed word banana.

 

good morning ayla.

and if you had any idea how many extra meds i downed for the anxiety atacks that wouldn;t quit all night long, you wouldn;t expect that to be the case.

 

but anxiety makes adrenaline and adrenaline burns off meds like fire.

but hey i got BBCA back and theres an espisode of BSG so the day's looking up already.

 

said my prayers twice just to be extra sure this morning.

 

i didn't talk about BSG but i did mention happiness.

and a lot of other things, cause if i don't cover it i feel like thta part of the universe will cease to function and i have enough sins of omission to go on with.

but you are still here, with the bananas, or were. and the TV is good. and the sun has risen. and nothing else has been destroyed that i can tell so far today... so... so far so good.

carry on miss ayla, please, didn't mean to interrupt the spam.

 

this is just a weirder kind of spam.

 

bananas.

 

a different bananas.

i am a ghost in the machine more than i should be. it is good to be disembodied but this machine is distressing to my soul at times.

periodically when i'm very anxious i yell at the cats which makes me feel very gulty and stupid. once in a while when a human visits i speak a little. and at work when i'm surrounded by too many humans making too much noise i sing to drown them out of my head i think.

 

otherwise, nothing.

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