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I must insist you cease this hooliganism, lest your souls turn into clown shoes and fly out your noses and you are forced to spend Christmas Day beneath a headless man such as herewith!

 

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And then, like the lump of dead skin that your Uncle Larry collects, the charcoal pepper arose once more, traveling from the West towards the rising sun, climbing the ever dangerous peaks to stand high on Mount Kikkoman, to proclaim loudly to the world:

 

"@#$% Corn!"

WTF is with the forums? They keep periodically failing to show the "new" icon next to threads with posts I haven't seen.

Does it involve a pencil, a table, a forehead, and sudden impact? Because if so, then I've already seen it.

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